


The Kingsman

by agirlcalledbob



Series: The Kingsman [1]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: AU, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bookshop owner Merlin, Continued abuse, Daddy Kink, Dirty Talk, Eventual Happy Ending, Ex Army Merlin, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Harry is a Good Friend, Harry is a Little Shit, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Rape, Rent boy Eggsy, Sexual Assault, no one is a spy, not canon, probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:13:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 20
Words: 55,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21902053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agirlcalledbob/pseuds/agirlcalledbob
Summary: Eggsy knows his life sucks. He works the streets, just where Dean has put him. And he'll stay there, as long as it takes, to keep his mum and Daisy safe, no question, no fight left. But that isn't how Merlin sees it. And maybe, just maybe, Merlin can help Eggsy see the light at the end of that tunnel.
Relationships: Harry Hart | Galahad/Percival, Merlin/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin
Series: The Kingsman [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1631500
Comments: 88
Kudos: 215





	1. Soho

**Note:  
So, I've been writing a lovely little Regency fic, that is quite soft and fluffy and nothing truly bad happens to anyone. I'm enjoying it, but have been missing making the characters live through trauma (evil, moi?) Plus I've been missing writing filthy smut. So, here this is. Enjoy, I hope. And please comment and let me know what you think.**

“Ryan, see that car?”  
“The Mini? O’ course. It’s been there three nights now.”  
“I think it’s watching me, innit?”  
“What? Like Herbie?”  
“’The fuck? No, you moron. The geezer _in_ the car.”  
“Why d’ya think that?”  
“Got picked up last night by one of me regulars, yeah? He allus drives to the edge of Regent’s, ‘s dark there, right? Well, when we’re done, I look out the back window, and that Mini’s there.”  
“Sounds like you’re right,” Jamal interrupted.  
“Prob’ly a john - new bloke, too nervous to walk up. You should take a walk over, ‘s been quiet for a while, could do with a few more before we turn in. Else Dean’ll be pissed.” Ryan worried his lower lip at the thought.  
“Fuck. What you made?”  
“Only had two ten tonight. Two fucks and two blowjobs. It’s bin slow.”  
“Fuck, I only made one two five,” Jamal winced. Eggsy had made five hundred. They all knew he was the ‘pretty’ one that the usual clients round this way went for. The other two weren’t bad looking, at all, but Jamal definitely suffered from the casual racism common amongst, well, most everyone, and Ryan was too meek to push himself forward.

Eggsy could reason that almost a thousand quid, tax free, was pretty good money for a night of sitting on your arse, drinking and smoking, and that wasn’t even including the other kids Dean ran, but he also knew what the outcome would be if Dean didn’t think they’d been working hard enough. At least Ryan and Jamal would only get knocked around a bit, but that was nothing to what would happen to Eggsy, so he took a breath and sauntered over to the Mini, half expecting it to speed off as he approached. It didn’t though, and he leaned forward as the passenger window whirred down.  
“Alright, guv, you lookin’ for summat?”  
“What are you offering, young man?” Fuck, this guy was posh, with a capital ‘P’. Hot, too. All deep brown eyes and messy black-ish hair, even if he were a bit older.  
“Well, you’re the one hanging ‘round Soho’s red-light district, guv. Take a guess.” Eggsy was surprised by the deep laugh that the guy let out from his belly, apparently genuinely amused by Eggsy’s cheek.  
“Oh, yes. I suspected it, but you’ll do quite well. But it’s late now. I want to get my money’s worth. Will you be here tomorrow?”  
“Yeah, from seven, yeah?”  
“And what do you charge for a full night? No clients beforehand, either.” Eggsy backed up at that. No one had ever wanted a full night.  
“What? You mean dusk till dawn?”  
“Yes, I suppose I do.”  
Eggsy thought of a figure that would suit Dean, and hopefully at least temporarily gain them a reprieve from his anger. “Thousand quid.” He expected the bloke to laugh again, but he just nodded.  
“Seems reasonable. Okay. A thousand. You will earn it, after all. I’ll pick you up here at seven fifteen tomorrow. Don’t be late.”

Eggsy walked back to his mates, a little dazed, as the Mini span off.  
“So he weren’t lookin’ then?” Jamal asked.  
“He were. Offered me a thousand for a full night tomorrow.”  
“Fuck, that’s great. If he turns up.”  
“Yeah, if he does.”

* * * * *

Eggsy waved his friends off when they left the tube at Bow Road.  
“We hafta explain to Dean. You can’t take all the shit,” Jamal tried to insist.  
“No. I’ll sort it. Just get home.” They’d been his best friends since they were in reception year at school, but they had no idea about this. It was the one thing he kept from them. Mainly because they were such good friends he knew they’d insist on taking some of the heat – even that kind of heat – and he couldn’t let them do that. It was bad enough what Dean had them doing six nights a week in Soho just because they’d stupidly got into hock with him a few years back.

When he got to the flat he could see the blue light of the TV through the thin curtains. Of course Dean waited up. He still opened the door quietly, hoping to get through this without waking Daisy up.  
“Oi, Muggsy, you’re late.”  
“Sorry, Dean. Was quiet tonight. We stayed out longer.” Dean always looked like a thug, but there was something almost demonic about him in this dim room, lit only by the TV’s glow. His mum was sprawled on the sofa, gazing unseeing at the moving pictures, out of her face on something, as usual.  
“Well? Hand it over.” Eggsy passed the wad of cash to Dean.  
“We made eight three five. I already gave Ryan and Jamal their ten percent.” He wasn’t going to mention the extra he’d given them, making the takings look more even so Dean wouldn’t get his brand of mad at them.  
“’Oo told ya to do that, Muggsy?” Eggsy didn’t reply. It was what they did every night, but Dean ran hot and cold with every single rule. Said he liked to keep Eggsy on his toes. “So this is yours then?” Dean peeled off a twenty and a ten after he’d counted the remaining notes. “But ya didn’t exactly work hard tonight…”  
“Told ya, it was quiet.”  
“Don’t cheek me, ya little shit.” Then, like a light switch, he turned. “You’re a good boy Muggsy. Get over here and earn your cash prop’ly. The best way ya know how. Ya mum’s no use to me tonight.”

Eggsy was resigned. If he tried to get out of it, there’d be a fight, and Daisy would wake up. If that happened Dean would start threatening her – not caring she was his own kid. Eggsy wouldn’t have that. Either that or he’d threaten Michelle. Start saying he’d send her out to make them money. So he stepped over to Dean and lowered himself to his knees, releasing Dean’s limp cock from his filthy jeans. The bloke clearly hadn’t showered, but Eggsy didn’t find it hard to ignore the musty, unclean smell, the slight tinge of piss. It weren’t the worst he had on a daily basis – though the thought that he was actually _used_ to that shit did turn his stomach a bit. But he’d been doing it for four years now, not counting what was happening before Soho.

Dean wasn’t even gay. But he was a massive fucking pervert, and Eggsy knew well that it was the control Dean had over him that made him hard within seconds when Eggsy licked stripes up the shaft. His dick wasn’t massive, so Eggsy found it easy to take the full length, working his mouth to create plenty of saliva, ‘cause that made the grossness easier to deal with. It also made it less traumatic when Dean held the back of his head down, thrusting up hard, fucking into his skull while he grunted insults down at Eggsy.  
“You’re fucking shit at this, boy. For such a slag, giving out your arse for change, you’re useless. Surprised anyone even gets off. My own fault I guess. Didn’t train ya hard enough, did I? Come on ya worthless fucking lump, suck harder.” Eggsy was already creating a vacuum that was making his cheekbones hurt, and thought words of thanks when he felt Dean’s balls tighten, before he flooded Eggsy’s mouth with bitter, bleachy liquid.

* * * * * 

Eggsy managed to avoid Dean the next day, until six anyway, when the swaggering fuckwit cornered him in the kitchen, where he was just making him and his ma a soothing cuppa before getting ready for what he was hoping would be a long night.  
“Getting ready for ‘work’, Muggsy?” Dean mocked, as if he wasn’t the reason why Eggsy did what he did most nights. “Trust ya gonna do better tonight? You and your faggy friends.” That pissed Eggsy off – the casual insult. Ryan and Jamal weren’t even gay, not that it would have mattered if they were. But the fact that Dean was the reason- fuck, it made him so mad, and so impotent, because there was fuck all he could do about what a dick Dean was. He was utterly powerless against the man, and it made his insides crawl.

Michelle was seated at the kitchen table, more lucid than usual, not that she was particularly clear even then. Eggsy didn’t want her engaged in anything to do with this, though, and manoeuvred his body to block her from the conversation.  
“Leave it, Dean, please.”  
“Don’t tell me-,”  
“I might be making a big pay tonight.”  
“Oh? Finally earning your keep?”  
“Some posh guy said he wanted me for the night. If he turns up-,”  
“Well, he’d better,” Dean didn’t even know- the dick just latched onto easy money.  
“Anyway, might not be home tonight-,”  
“Won’t matter if you’re not home at all.” Eggsy gulped. He knew it was true for Dean, but there was no way he would leave his mum and Daisy. He couldn’t take this conversation though, or the way his mum vaguely held out a hand to him as he passed close to the table, so he leant to kiss her cheek, noting the moisture, wondering if they were tears for him, if Michelle were still capable of that.

After waiting half an hour, hanging his legs off the high wall outside the flat, contemplating what it would feel like to just push himself forward and let go, but deciding he’d probably just break his ankles instead, and then he wouldn’t even have the safety of running, Eggsy met Jamal and Ryan by the tube. He was wearing almost his usual gear, which was jeans just a little too low slung to be decent and a polo a size too small, but this was one of his best ones – usually saved for the occasional night out with his mates. Not totally standard wear for street-walkers, but, for all three of them, the schtick was ‘bit o’ rough’, so they needed to look like regular lads, not glittery fuckin’ fairies (actual fairies – there was one lad who’s usual spot was just a bit further down the road from theirs who wore netted wings and so much glitter there was no way his marks weren’t _covered_ in it when he’d finished doing his thing).  
“You think your posh feller’s gonna turn up?” Ryan asked.  
“Dunno. Maybe. He didn’t seem like he was spinning a line, even though it were weird. But he’d no reason to lie.” 

Eggsy didn’t know if he was right. Men were weird, and he’d never really had any chances to work them out the usual way – his time taken up with Dean’s expectations. There could be all sorts of reasons to lie, but he’d felt like the geezer hadn’t been, even if he couldn’t define why he felt that way.

They positioned themselves in the usual spot; safety in numbers. Eggsy checked his phone: ten past seven. The guy had five minutes, then Eggsy was gonna have to take someone on. He couldn’t risk having nothing to take back to Dean. The minutes ticked – Ryan had already taken some guy down the alley, and Eggsy saw another loiterer over the street, eying him. Just before he approached, though, the red Mini came scooting down the road, almost skidding to a halt right in front of him.  
“Come on then, boy. What are you waiting for?” The bloke was just as posh as he’d remembered.  
“Message when ya know where you are,” Jamal whispered and Eggsy nodded a response. There wasn’t much they could do for themselves, but they had a go. 

He clicked his seatbelt once he was in the car, tucking his bag between his legs, suddenly feeling self-conscious. The car was pretty bog-standard – plenty of bright red Mini’s with Union Jacks on them zipping about – but the guy was anything but. He smelled amazing; presumably some expensive aftershave, and Eggsy allowed himself the smallest smile that at least this guy would have washed recently. And his clobber…Christ. Some incredibly well-fitted suit that, even in the cramped space of the car, Eggsy could see was lavish, with a silky-looking tie and even one of those fancy little hankies in the pocket.  
“Tell me about yourself,” Eggsy jumped when the man spoke, not ready for that. You didn’t ask rent boys about themselves – you didn’t care. “What’s your name?”  
“Eggsy,” Eggsy wanted to kick himself – he never used his nickname on the street, always giving his real name on the rare occasion he was asked. “Uh, Gary.”  
“So then, Eggsy,” the guy ignored his correction, “what put you on the street?”  
“You’re all about the personal questions, huh?”  
“Maybe. Maybe just checking you aren’t a drug addict. A needle user.”  
Eggsy sucked in a hiss. “I ain’t no junkie. Allus use protection too. Including tonight,” he added pointedly.  
“Of course. Good. Safety first,” the guy let out a snort, but even that sounded posh to Eggsy and it made him clench his jaw.  
“Needed money to help my family. Food, roof, ya know. ‘Cept, doubt ya do.”  
“No. You’re right. I have no idea. I’m sorry if it seemed I was judging you. I wasn’t really. It’s just…this is really important to me. That it goes well.”  
“Course.”  
“I’m Harry, by the way. It’s nice to meet you, Eggsy.”  
“Ditto, Harry.”

They travelled the rest of the way in silence, not that far – Eggsy recognised Knightsbridge – and pulled up in front of a huge Victorian Terrace. Eggsy figured it’d be flats – he’d never seen a house like this that wasn’t – but Harry bounded up the steps in front of Eggsy, his long legs making easy work of it, and unlocked the front door with a key, gesturing Eggsy into a wide lounge, with buffed wooden floors and a massive real fireplace. Eggsy looked longingly at the pair of teal green velvet sofas on either side – they looked incredibly comfortable and he was tired, always tired. Maybe Harry would let him have a rest at some point. The guy looked old enough – maybe forty, but looking good on it – that he wouldn’t be able to go constantly for the whole night.

“I want you to take a shower, Eggsy. The bathroom’s there,” Harry guided him to a small but luxurious bathroom that was somehow tucked under the broad staircase, which disappeared into a dark upper floor. “Don’t bother dressing when you come out. There’s towels.” Eggsy eyed the fluffy green towels, almost licking his lips at the thought of drying himself with one.

He carefully folded his clothes onto a padded wooden bench and showered, using the amazing smelling shower gel, though noting it wasn’t what made Harry smell so good – this was more refreshing and citrusy. He could have stayed under the forceful spray for an hour, but didn’t want to piss Harry off by using all his hot water, so finished up in ten minutes instead, rubbing his wet hair vigorously before wrapping the towel around his narrow waist and stepping out of the bathroom.

“Do ye want to tell me who you are and what the feck ye’re doing in my house?”


	2. From Dusk till Dawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy finds out why Harry hired him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops I originally forgot to add daddy kink to the tags. Have amended. So, yeah, there'll be that, but I don't do age play, even if I'm not going to pretend that this is entirely healthy based on Eggsy's background - but that matter won't be dealt with for a long while.

Merlin watched the boy react to his words, saw him almost drop the brief towel wrapped around his narrow hips, but hug it to him just in time, hair wild and aquamarine eyes widening beautifully. He was gorgeous, no doubt, but that certainly didn’t explain why he was in his home. His plush lips just opened and closed soundlessly, searching for words that never came, when Merlin’s phone rang.  
“Merlin, hello, dear boy.”  
“Ye want tae tell me what’s going on, Harry?”  
“You came downstairs then?” There was a gasp, “Shit, you didn’t do anything stupid did you?”  
“I presume you refer to the naked young man in my living room? He’s still alive. Conscious, even.”  
“You didn’t hurt him?”  
“Of course not. I’m nae so out of control. But why on earth is he here?”  
“He’s a present. For you. I was expecting to get through to you before you saw him though. I know you never come out of your study- wait, why did you?”  
“Heard the hot water going. Damn, Harry, for someone with your history, you can be really stupid and really careless.”  
“Alright, Merlin, no need to get personal,” but Harry was chuckling – rarely able to take things too seriously for too long. 

The boy was still standing, absolutely still, one hand clutching the towel, the other slightly raised, as if in defence. He had an incredibly body – carrot-shaped, Merlin always thought of it as – broad shoulders with powerful sternocleidomastoid and trapezius muscles, strong biceps, defined pecs and abdominal lines, and then that delicious little adonis belt, a v-shape leading straight under that damp towel…

Merlin had barely registered Harry was still talking.  
“What?”  
“Merlin, you haven’t listened to a word, have you?” That damn knowing chuckle again. “Too busy looking, I suspect. He’s something else, yes? I watched him for a few days, wanted to get this right.” Merlin had no idea what Harry was talking about, presumably it was in something he’d missed a minute ago. “What you need is on the console table. I’ll leave you to it. Have fun.”

Harry hung up and Merlin stepped over to the console. In the large Italian glass bowl there was a selection – a ridiculously large selection – of condoms, and a roll of notes. Oh. Well, that made a little more sense.  
“I presume this is for you,” he held out the roll, not too far. For some indefinable reason he wanted the boy closer.  
“You gunna hurt me?”   
Merlin thought back to his side of the conversation. Damn. “No. Just an old joke. Harry’s my best friend, since our days in the Forces. It didn’t mean anything.”  
“Oh. Okay.” He still didn’t come closer, though, still looked defensive, his nibbled lip pensive (but oh, so sexy too).

“You want this?” Merlin waved the notes again.  
“Uh, yeah.” He darted forward then, nimbly grasping the paper and burying it in his fist, moving back to stare once again with wide eyes.  
“Listen, ye can probably tell I didnae ken Harry was bringing ye ‘round. I’m sorry.” Merlin found his own accent becoming rougher, perhaps in response to the boy. There was something of the frightened rabbit about the way he was staring, and Merlin had an unexpected desire to settle him.  
“Don’t be. I thought Harry was-,” the boy looked a little nauseous, before shaking it off and taking a deep breath. “I thought he bought me for himself.” Merlin didn’t know how to react to the boy’s own reaction. One thing he did know though-  
“I’ll no make ye do anything ye dinnae want to. At all. Listen, this was more a joke from Harry than anything. It’s been a while, for me. Ye wanna leave, ye can take the money and go. I’ll no tell Harry, and anyway, he deserves to lose however much that is for tricking us both.”  
“A thousand.”  
“A- what?!”  
“He paid me a thousand. He said- it’s for the whole night.”  
“So, ye’re-,” Merlin wasn’t sure how to ask the question – certainly wasn’t sure if he should. “That’s a lot?”  
“I guess. He said I’d earn it.”   
Merlin snorted. “I doubt it. I’m no lying when I say it’s been a while. Two years, actually.”  
“Whole night though, that’s plenty of time to recover,” there was a cheeky smirk on the boy’s face now, and Merlin liked it, a lot.  
“Old man like me, cannae keep going over and over, not like a young lad like you.”  
“You’re not that old?” The boy’s tilted head was cute, his sea-green eyes looking warmer now the fear seemed to have been washed out.  
“Forty-one. Old enough compared to a teenager.” Especially one covered in strong muscles that implied stamina, too.  
“Not a teenager,” he mumbled, shrinking back again. Merlin wondered if he’d offended him, but the boy had one of those faces that looked like it never needed a proper shave; a softness to his face that suggested youth. “’m twenny-two.”  
“Okay,” Merlin soothed, “but certainly a youngster compared to me.”  
“Nah, you’re well fit. Don’t even look- okay ya kinda do look forty-one, but in a good way. Always liked older guys anyway.” His voice went back to an almost unintelligible mumble at the end. 

Merlin was lost. For some reason – though he couldn’t really think that, because he knew exactly what the reason was – Harry had bought him a, what? Rent Boy? An escort? Merlin didn’t know, and it didn’t feel right to ask for specifics. But he could ask if he wanted. Technically he owned the boy, for the night, anyway. He tested that thought in his mind, and wasn’t sure how he felt about the fact that he didn’t hate it. He’d never been with anyone so young compared to him, obviously. Well, he’d been with James since they were both mid-twenties, so of course not, even if they had played around with others on occasion. It was never anyone almost half his age. Nope, still not hating it. 

“Sir, do ya wanna-?” The boy tentatively stepped forward, dropping his towel, and Merlin only barely stopped himself from letting out a growl. The sight of him; a sight for sore eyes. His cock hanging limply, but thick and smooth. Merlin didn’t normally go for shaved clean – or at least, James hadn’t been – but it looked incredible on the boy. Delicious, in fact, and he licked his suddenly dry lips. The boy’s thighs were a revelation – thick and muscular, the lines of his quads visible even as he stood relaxed.  
“I do. Don’t call me Sir though. It’s a bit-,” no idea how to finish that, Merlin just stopped. It wasn’t even that he hated the sound of it, but right now it sounded too…business-like. Not something he especially wanted reminding of. “My name’s Merlin.” He waited for the ridiculing laugh, the need to explain, boringly, yet again, that it was his surname, but that he used it as a nickname because he preferred it to his given name. It didn’t come though.  
“Eggsy.” Well, that explained the lack of a reaction, and he was determined to return the favour and not pry. 

He still had no idea how this worked, but Eggsy clearly did, as he moved forward, placing his arms on Merlin’s biceps, looking up at him through impossibly long, thick lashes, just a glint of those swirling greenish eyes visible. Eggsy cast his eyes down, a sweet blush forming across his cheeks, before he reached into the bowl, grabbing a foil packet, a vibrant purple one, and slid down Merlin’s clothed body until he reached his knees and looked up again.   
“Let me take care of ya, yeah?” Merlin just nodded, clearing his throat as he also attempted to clear his head. 

Eggsy unzipped and released him with practiced professionalism, sliding his hand just so, a slick of his thumb over the tip, a twist of his wrist. Merlin tipped his head, unable to tear his eyes away from Eggsy’s, until Eggsy blinked, moisture glistening in his, looking down and licking his lips – not in lust, but seemingly more out of nerves. He didn’t have time to process that, as Eggsy had rolled the condom on, also purple to Merlin’s surprise, and run his tongue up the underside.  
He giggled, “It’s blackcurrant flavoured.” Merlin flushed; damn Harry and his immature ways, but Eggsy dived back on, sliding his mouth over, creating suction and using his tongue to lave the underside. Merlin couldn’t help but notice the functional way Eggsy was dealing with him, but it didn’t stop the expert ministrations taking only short minutes to draw the knot into his core, winding it in preparation for uncoiling. He wanted to hold Eggsy’s head – not to pin him or drag him deeper, but just to run his long fingers through that soft-looking hair, the damp strands drying off quickly in the warm air. He stopped himself, though, keeping his hands clenched at his side, until he felt the tingling run through him. He tried to hold back, feeling a little embarrassed that he was falling apart so quickly, regardless of Eggsy’s skill, or the length of time since he’d experienced this, but he passed the point of no return far too quickly, letting go with a brief groan.

Eggsy sat back on his haunches, smoothly removing the soiled condom and knotting it, tucking Merlin away before jumping up and disappearing to the downstairs bathroom. Merlin ran a hand over his own smoothly shaved head, noting that it was shaking, just the smallest amount, and headed into the kitchen, pouring out two glasses of icy water.  
“Thank you, Merlin,” Eggsy was quiet as he gratefully took the glass, drinking half of it down in one.  
“So…” Merlin began, uncertain. “Uh, do you have any rules? You’re here overnight, you say?”  
“Well, that’s what ‘arry said, yeah?”  
“Okay. Well, do you need a rest?”  
“Uh, no? I mean, I got more energy than that, yeah?”  
“Are ye asking or telling?”  
“Sorry,” Eggsy hung his head and Merlin immediately felt guilty. “Tellin’, I guess. Yeah, tellin’. I don’t need a rest.”

“Come upstairs, Eggsy.” Merlin reached out a hand and guided Eggsy up the wide stairs, taking a left off the landing into the master bedroom. It wasn’t an extravagant room, but the bed was huge and comfortable and the furniture was a warm, dark wood. Merlin felt vaguely embarrassed about the lack of luxury – even the bed was just coated in a simple teal-covered duvet, no extra pillows or throws. Eggsy held the damp towel around his body again, but he didn’t protest when Merlin pulled it away with a light touch, or when he guided him to lay down on the bed. Fuck, the boy was truly something else, laying there, looking up at Merlin through those sinful lashes, just a flash of green visible, his body mainly relaxed, though Merlin could see a certain tension in the line of his hips.  
“Before we go any further, Eggsy, tell me your rules.”  
“Rules? I don’t really have any.”  
“What? So you’re happy for me to go in dry-,”  
“Nah, not that. Okay, I s’pose I do have rules then. Lube. I always use a condom, no argument, for everything. No watersports or scat. No kissing. No visible or long-lasting marks. Uh, I guess, you have to stop if I tell ya to?”

Merlin wasn’t going to pull him up on the rising inflection again. It said something worrying to him, just the fact that Eggsy felt the need to say the words. He didn’t think it was about _him_ , as such – except for that initial interaction Eggsy certainly hadn’t seemed anything more than slightly nervous, and that was taking into account that Merlin knew full well he had the bearing and demeanour of a particularly brutal mob boss – but Eggsy clearly had a history of needing to tell people to stop, and the questioning tone – well, Merlin didn’t like the way it made it sound like Eggsy was in no way assuming his request would be complied with. 

“I’ll stop anything the minute ye ask me to.”  
“Okay. So…are ya gonna fuck me then?”  
“Oh, cheeky boy, are ye?” Merlin did not miss the flush that crossed Eggsy’s cheeks, or the mumbled ‘could be’ that he didn’t think he was actually meant to hear, storing that one up for later. “Not just yet, lad. My refractory period is slightly longer than ten minutes, I’m afraid. But I bet yours isn’t, so we can still have plenty of fun.”  
“Ya don’t hafta, you know? I can-,” Eggsy vaguely waved his hands, offering who-knows-what, but Merlin was unphased. It had been a long while, but he’d never been a selfish lover, and he saw no reason to change that now, just because the lad was being paid to be here.   
“Well, I happen to want to. The opportunity to play with such a beautiful boy? I’m not passing that up. But if I do anything ye don’t like, tell me. I’ll be most annoyed if I find out after that ye didnae.” Eggsy flushed again, and again there was the mumble, this time ‘not beautiful’, but Merlin wasn’t letting it go this time.  
“Ye certainly are beautiful,” he leaned forward, nibbling along Eggsy’s sharp collarbone, “quite one of the most beautiful boys I’ve ever seen. Those pretty sea-green eyes, those pouting pink lips, and this-,” Merlin moved his nibbling down, sucking a rose nipple between his lips, pulling a gratifyingly high gasp from Eggsy, repeated when he moved along to the other one, when the first was suitably hard and glistening. He worked them both for a while, with his mouth and fingers, pleased to have found a weak spot so very quickly, loving the physical and aural responses it was drawing from the writhing boy. 

“Please-,” Eggsy whined, eventually.  
“Please, what?” Merlin smiled.  
“Please…Sir?”  
Merlin snorted, “Nae, lad. Tell me what ye want.”  
“Touch me. Please.”  
“I’m touching.”  
“Merlin-,” the whine was more pronounced this time. Maybe the boy didn’t like to be verbal.  
“Okay, _mo ghille_ , I’ve got ye.” He moved further down, nipping along the delineated abdominals, enjoying how they quivered under his lips, thinking that maybe Eggsy was just incredibly responsive full stop, a thought that made his already recovering cock wake up even further. He bit into the protruding hip bone, moving in, ready to-  
“Stop!”  
What is it _mo ghille_?”  
“Condom.” Merlin remembered what Eggsy had said were his rules. Damn. Fair enough though, and he was glad the boy had brought him back to himself before he did something stupid. But he didn’t fancy masking the delicious flavour and scent of Eggsy with rubber, so he’d have to use alternative methods. 

Merlin reached for the lube and squeezed a generous amount onto his palm, squeezing his hand to warm it a little, before wrapping it around Eggsy’s twitching length. He had large hands, but Eggsy was thick, and he licked his lower lip, suddenly imagining what it might feel like to get stretched out by that smooth, heavy length. Merlin was certainly on the dominant side, but he did enjoy switching occasionally, or had, anyway, even if James had been much thinner than this. He was brought out of these thoughts of ancient history by Eggsy’s reaction, arching his body with a low moan, pushing himself into Merlin’s tightly furled fist. It didn’t take long, with Merlin’s slick hand sliding the length, while he passed his thumb in regular motions over the leaking glans and across the ridged frenulum, for Eggsy to let go with a little yell and drop back onto the bed.

“I’m sorry, sorry, Sir, please don’t-”  
“What is it _mo ghille_?”  
“I’m sorry, I don’t normally…”  
“Come? Oh, _mo ghille_ , ye dinnae need to apologise for that, and ye dinnae need permission.” To Merlin’s surprise, Eggsy began to cry, quietly, only really apparent from the shaking in his shoulders as he covered his eyes. Merlin waited, not wanting to push him, and he recovered quickly, running a hand across his face, slicking the moisture away.  
“I’m sorry. That’s not what you paid for.” He coughed, sitting up on the bed. “Would you like me ta suck y’off again?”  
“Not yet, _mo ghille_ , I’d more like ta know what that was about.” Eggsy shrugged, but then his face lit up a little, in a way that had Merlin wanting to reach toward him, as if he could feel the warmth.  
“What does mo gilla mean?”  
“What?” Merlin hadn’t even noticed himself saying it. Damn. This could be bad and, for some reason, the last thing he wanted this boy to do was run out of there in freaked out horror.  
“Mo gilla? You keep calling me it.”  
“ _Mo ghille_. It’s Gaelic. It’s nothing really,” Merlin debated lying, but only for a moment, “it means ‘my boy’. It just seems to fit ye.”  
“Ya think?” Merlin looked up sharply, but the boy wasn’t seeming sarcastic or scorning; the look on his face was one of wonder.   
“Aye. I think. Anyway, ye look tired. Stay.” Merlin went to grab a moist cloth, washing his hands and using the cloth to wipe Eggsy clean. “Close your eyes, Eggsy. I’ll go make some food.” Eggsy just nodded, and was asleep, curled up under a woven blanket Merlin laid over him, by the time he left the room, feeling weirdly content and not at all bothered by the boy’s earlier lie about not needing rest.

Merlin made short work of chicken breasts and salad, thinking on their interactions so far. He was realising that Eggsy was very good at distracting when something came up that he didn’t want to talk about and, even though Merlin wasn’t exactly going to start pushing him, he was going to be conscious of it now. He went and gently woke Eggsy up to come eat in the kitchen.  
“’s nice, this,” Eggsy said, glancing around at the clean, mainly white space, large windows looking out to the darkened garden, clad in sinfully low-slung jeans and a tight t-shirt. Merlin liked the boy naked, but could certainly appreciate the way these clothes clung to his toned body.  
“Thanks. It was quite a state when I bought the place. Whole house needed a complete renovation. Decided light and bright was the way forward.” Merlin didn’t think a full explanation of why he’d come into the kind of money necessary to buy a house in Knightsbridge, even a run-down dump, or why he’d chosen the simple, clean lines he had, was a conversation for the situation they found themselves in. They ate quickly; he felt guilty he hadn’t made more, as Eggsy demolished his like someone who hadn’t eaten a real meal in a while, but it wasn’t as though he’d been expecting company.   
“Thanks Merlin, that were real tasty.”  
“Would you like anything else?”  
“What ya got in mind for dessert?” Eggsy asked with a cheeky grin.  
“You, but later. Let’s relax for a while. Would ye watch a film with me?”  
“Sure. You’re the boss, guv.”

They settled in to watch Citizen Kane, after Eggsy pouted a minute about it being in black and white. But he was soon leaning forward on the sofa, utterly engaged, and Merlin was able to surreptitiously watch him in the glow from the TV. The way his lashes swung against his rounded cheeks when he blinked, the way his oh so pretty mouth widened at certain points, the way his brow furrowed when he didn’t quite get it, and then cleared, making his eyes wide, when he did. 

When the movie was over, and Eggsy gratefully accepted a second Jack and Coke from Merlin, who was drinking single malt, he turned, eyes shining.  
“That were amazing! The way you didn’t know- and then when they found out, and then they never knew, and it was all about how he were rejected and the money wasn’t- but it were all about his loss of innocence and what it turned him inta…” Eggsy stopped, breathing hard and Merlin chuckled.  
“That’s the most ye’ve said this evening.”  
“Sorry.”  
“Don’t be. I like hearing ye talk.”  
“Oh. I used ta talk a lot. Would annoy the hell outa ya, I’m pretty sure.”  
“Doubt it. Why did ye stop?” Eggsy regarding him for a moment, a flash of some indefinable emotion crossing his face, but Merlin schooled his face into gentle unpressured interest.   
“Stepdad dint like me gettin’ in the way. He dint like my voice reminding him I was around. After a while, anyway. He faked it good at first.”  
“And he’s still around?”  
“Ha,” there was no humour in that laugh, and even Eggsy winced at how fake it sounded. “Yeah, he’s still around.”  
“The kind of man who thinks kids should be seen and not heard?”  
“Something like that.” Merlin decided not to press it as it was clearly making Eggsy uncomfortable. 

“It’s getting late, let’s go up to bed.” Eggsy looked up in surprise as Merlin held out a hand, but took it, following him up the stairs. “Ye can sleep in a guest room if ye want?”  
“What? But don’t ya want-? I mean, ‘arry paid for the whole night, yeah? I don’t reckon he expected to be paying that much for sleeping- Oh, wait, you don’t want- I’m sorry, o’ course, I’ll stay in another room.”  
“Do ye ever finish a sentence, Eggsy?” He said it kindly but still felt more guilt when Eggsy hung his head again. “Just say what ye’re thinking.”   
“Sorry, right, okay, I get it. I’m not your type. It’s okay. It’s like you said earlier, it’s Harry’s problem if he wasted his money.”  
“Eggsy. Listen. I wouldnae claim to have a type at all, but if I did, I can assure ye ye’d be right at the top of the list. Ye’re fucking gorgeous, make no bones about it, and I’m extremely attracted to ye. I’m just giving ye the option. Harry might have paid for your time, but I’m not going to make ye do anything ye’re uncomfortable with. It isn’t the way I do things. Harry knows that too, and he wouldnae expect anything else.”  
“Oh. So, if I come in ya room, are ya gonna fuck me?”  
“If ye want me to.”  
“I-,” Eggsy coughed, sweetly embarrassed, and Merlin had to stop himself from pulling the boy into a hug. “Yeah, I wanna.”

In the ensuite, Merlin passed Eggsy a new toothbrush and almost chuckled at the domesticity of them brushing their teeth side by side in the mirror. Back in the bedroom, Eggsy looked up into Merlin’s eyes with those aquamarine orbs that were rapidly bewitching him.  
“How do ya wanna do this?”  
“Explain.”  
“I mean, do ya want me to perform a little? Do all the work. ‘m happy to. Or do ya wanna control everything?” Merlin could feel himself hardening already, and gulped. This boy was proving to be straight out of his fantasies.  
“How about we do a little of both. Why don’t I give you some instructions?” Eggsy grinned freely then, maybe the first full genuine smile Merlin had seen from him, revealing long dimples that he just wanted to fucking lick.  
“I think- yeah, I think I’d like that. Though, I don’t know how good I’ll be, ‘cause I ain’t ever had this kind of situation. But I’ll try, real hard, for ya.”  
“I’ll bet you will _mo ghille_ ; ye’re a good boy, aren’t ye?” That got Eggsy’s cheeks so pink they were glowing.  
“Yeah, ‘m a good boy,” he mumbled.

Merlin grabbed a condom and lube, and sat on the edge of the bed, leaning back on his hands.  
“Why don’t ye take off those sexy clothes, but slowly? Show me what ye can do.” Eggsy started moving, leisurely, almost as if to a beat inside his head, pulling his polo shirt up to reveal his abs, turning so Merlin could see the adorable dimples in the smooth curve of his lower back, twisting again so the adonis belt disappearing into his obscenely low jeans became visible. Merlin licked his lips, half regretting telling the boy to go slow, when, now, all he wanted was naked. Eggsy dropped the shirt to undo the buttons, casually stroking his fingertips over his collarbones, his neck arched just a little, just enough for Merlin to see the point just under his ear where he’d really, really like to mark the boy, even if he knew that wasn’t an option. It was obscured for a moment as Eggsy shifted the shirt over his head, flicking it onto the chair in the corner, returning his hands to the button of his jeans, popping it so Merlin could just see the beginning of his shaft, already beginning to plump, not needing to unfasten them further, just shimmying his narrow hips so they slid to the floor and he kicked them off.  
“Oh yes, ye really are a good boy.”  
“Thank you,” Eggsy whispered, his eyes down.  
“Come here, lay on the bed.” Eggsy complied, on his back, and Merlin crawled up between his legs, pushing them wide, while Eggsy watched him with a small smile. “You going to keep being a good boy?” Eggsy nodded rapidly, nibbling his lip. “Hold onto the bars of the headboard _balach math_ , if you let go, I’ll stop, and ye won’t be in any trouble.” Merlin didn’t know why he added the last bit, but he felt as though it was needed. Eggsy reached up to grasp the bars, stretching his body delectably. 

Fuck, Merlin just wanted to lick him all over, tasting every inch, but he recognised there was a fragility to the boy that may not be able to cope with that kind of worship right now. Instead, he pressed his hardness against Eggsy’s perineum, slicking it with his own leaking precum, nudging against Eggsy’s softly furred balls. Eggsy moaned, throwing his head back, as Merlin ran his thumb over them, massaging gently.   
“Do ye want me, _balach math_?”  
“What does that one mean?” Eggsy all but panted.  
“It means ‘good boy’. Suits you even better, I think.”  
“Yes,” Eggsy whined, arching his back. “And, yes, I want ya, please.” Merlin sheathed his cock in preparation, slicking his fingers and sliding one inside Eggsy’s relaxed body, twisting and adding a second when Eggsy pushed his legs even wider, his powerful shoulders tense from how hard he was holding the headboard. “Please Merlin, now.” Merlin withdrew his fingers and pressed the blunt tip of his cock, pushing inside.  
“Fuck, _mo ghille_ , you’re so tight.” It had been a while since Merlin had experienced this, but, still, this was something else, the boy felt like a clenching fist wrapped in burning heat. Eggsy just moaned in response, his legs spread and his back raised with the intensity, breathing deeply until Merlin bottomed out, fully encasing himself in the best feeling he could _ever_ remember having. There was a moment of guilt, that the thought was unjust and a betrayal, but continuing that would be then be unjust to Eggsy, who was here right now, moaning in pleasure with a flutter in his eyes, and that wouldn’t do. 

“Does it feel good _mo ghille math_?”  
“Fuck, yes, I’ll be good for you, fuck me,” Eggsy blurted in a rough whisper.  
“Oh, I will and I am _balach milis_.”  
“Why the fuck is that so hot? You keep adding words and I’ve no idea what the fuck ya saying, but Christ if I wouldn’t crawl all over the floor for you if you told me to with those sexy as fuck words in that sexy as fuck accent.”   
Merlin huffed a laugh, “Well that’s a thought for later, sweet boy.” He pulled out and Eggsy whimpered a desperate cry, before easily flipping his pliable body and sliding back in in one smooth move. “Right now, ye just keep being as good as ye are for me.”  
“Oh yes, Daddy, fill me up with your big dick.” Merlin stuttered slightly at that, overwhelmed by how unexpectedly arousing it sounded in Eggsy’s fucked-rough voice. James had never had that kink, it had never come up, but fuck if it was coming up now. He wondered if Eggsy had let it slip by accident, but when he heard him muttering ‘fuck yes, Daddy’ under his breath he decided it must be a thing. A thing Merlin liked far more than he should, as he pulled Eggsy’s hips up to improve the angle so he could slide past his prostate and reach for his dripping cock at the same time. Given he’d been forcing himself to hold back his orgasm for several minutes, he knew that when he pulled Eggsy’s orgasm from him, with a sweet, high cry, the massage he would receive, would, and did, yank his own orgasm from him, in a tsunami that felt like it went forever.

Eggsy was asleep by the time he returned with the damp cloth, and mumbled through being manoeuvred under the sheets, where Merlin joined him a few minutes later, and he snuggled close, even in sleep, so Merlin fell asleep with the scent of Eggsy’s citrusy hair in his nostrils.

Merlin slept better than he had in a long time, and woke better too, with Eggsy’s mouth wrapped around his freshly sheathed cock.  
“Morning _balach milis_ ,” he mumbled, catching Eggsy’s bright eyes.  
“Morning,” Eggsy popped off him with a rubbery slapping sound and giggled.  
“Come here,” Merlin pulled Eggsy up so he could nuzzle into the crook of his neck. “Such a good boy for Daddy, huh?”  
“Shit, I’m sorry. That was too much, yeah?” He could feel Eggsy’s hot blush against the side of his face.  
“If it was too much, then I’m too much. I liked it, Eggsy.”  
“Really? It didn’t freak you out?”  
“Baby boy, did you even feel how hard I came?” He felt Eggsy’s pleasurable shudder at the pet name. “Ye gonna be a good boy for me now, and turn over so I can feel if ye’re still slick and loose after last night?”  
“Fuck, Merlin, ya killin’ me.” But Eggsy flopped onto his stomach and pushed his thighs wide. Merlin ran a finger down his spine, adoring the quiver it sent through Eggsy, sliding right to his hole, expecting it easily accessible after how hard he’d gone, but was surprised to find it furled tight again, as if it were virgin territory.  
“Wow, _mo ghille_ , ye’d never know I’d been here.” He grabbed the lube off the bedside table and squeezed some direct, determine to work Eggsy open all over again.  
“Sorry, I know it can be awkward.”  
“Not in the least, _balach milis_ , it seems ye’re one of the lucky few who can stretch wide for a good, hard fuck, but snaps right back.”  
“Merlin,” Eggsy drew the name out in an embarrassed whine.  
“Don’t get shy now. Ye were the sexiest thing I’ve seen, and ye still are.”

Merlin didn’t waste any time, determined to wring out the time he had left, starting gentle to open Eggsy up, but when he had him relaxed, working him fast with three fingers until he was whimpering and bucking his hips.  
“Please…”  
“Please, what, _balach milis_?”   
“Please, Daddy, fuck me.”  
“With pleasure.” Merlin thrust in smoothly, pushing forward until he was all the way encased in that dizzying tightness.  
“Oh, Daddy, you’re so deep inside me.”  
“There ye go, ye’re nae so shy about dirty talk when ye’ve got me buried balls deep inside ye, huh?” Eggsy just hid his head in the pillow, but that couldn’t hide the moans of pleasure as he was fucked into the bed, until he came against the sheets, and Merlin followed him over the edge, pulled by his clenching muscles. 

In the kitchen, Eggsy sat at the table and checked his phone while Merlin cooked eggs.  
“I’m sorry, I’m gonna have to leave soon. They’re, uh, expecting me back.”  
“Who’s ‘they’?” Merlin tried to keep it casual, as he dished up the eggs and placed them on the table, but he really wanted to know what Eggsy’s situation was – why he sold his body. Not out of judgement, he knew that much, even if he wouldn’t have been able to answer the question as to why.   
“Me mum, and step dad. And me little sister.”  
“Do ye,” shit, how to ask this? “Do ye have someone who’s expecting the money?” Eggsy wouldn’t look at him, even as he made sure to keep his face open and non-judgemental.  
“Ya mean a pimp? Yeah. It’s my step dad, actually.” Merlin forced himself to hold back the furious shout that brewed in him at that, made himself stay calm.   
“Oh? That’s pretty unusual, surely?”  
“I fucking hope so.” Merlin’s heart broke at what that suggested.

Eggsy had finished his food and stood to take his plate to the sink.  
“I really hafta go now.”  
“Listen, Eggsy. Uh, can we do this again?”   
Eggsy’s face was a little blank. “You have a spare grand to pay for my arse?”  
“It’s worth a lot more than that, but aye. I’ll pay ye for your time.”  
“Okay. Gimme ya phone.” Merlin handed it over and watched with baited breath as Eggsy typed his number in and sent himself a message “Send me a text, yeah? When you’re free.”

As Eggsy disappeared away from the front steps, Merlin wondered whether it was too soon to request him back that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, stunning reveal, but I don't actually speak Gaelic. And we all know about Google Translate's vagaries. So, to say, Merlin calls Eggsy various versions of 'my boy' and 'sweet boy' etc, but I have a sneaking suspicion either ghille or balach would *never* be used in a sexualised context. However, research has given me nothing, so I'm just going with what I have for now. If you do speak Gaelic and are horrified by any of the pet names please let me know and I will be more than happy to update.


	3. The KIngsman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy thought he had seen the last some of the bad stuff that used to happen to him, but Dean has other ideas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angsty hurt and smutty comfort in this one

Eggsy hurried to the tube, knowing he’d already be in trouble for being late, ‘cause it was almost ten. He had the roll of notes thrust into the side of his trainer, inside his sock. The absolute last thing he would need now would be to get mugged outside his flat, and it had happened before. 

He had long enough in that long metal tube to think on the night before, and he couldn’t help a broad smile from creeping onto his face, no matter how that was frowned upon by normal commuters. But he’d never had an experience like it. Never once, in his twenty-two years, had anyone made him feel that good – physically – but also that desired. Sure, Merlin was just getting his money’s worth, but Eggsy could tell himself he didn’t care about why the man behaved the way he did, just that he did. He couldn’t let himself get too used to it, though. He’d be back in Soho by seven, probably having the current delicious ache in his arse starting to feel less than comfortable. That was the norm. He couldn’t expect every john to be so careful, and so expert. 

He checked his phone properly now he was on his way. He’d messaged Jamal the night before, when he’d got to Merlin’s, but his phone was blowing up with missed calls and messages. Shit. That was insensitive of him. Of course his mates were worried. He messaged them both making sure they knew he was fine, and checking in on their night, which had passed as usual. 

He opened the door to the flat quietly, hoping everyone would be out, but no such luck. Michelle was already out of it in some way, ignoring Daisy, who played quietly in the corner with a doll Dean had gouged the eyes out of when he’d been pissed about something.  
“Eggsy,’ she murmured, which fucking broke his heart. What five-year-old needs to murmur in their own home? He scooped her up and spun her around in a warm hug.  
“Hello, my little flower. How are ya?”  
“’m good Eggsy. Eggsy good?”  
“Yeah, sweetheart, I’m good too.”  
“Play, Eggsy?”  
“Eggsy ain’t playin’ Daisy. He’s coming with me,” Dean had come in from the kitchen and Eggsy almost dropped Daisy at the rough voice behind him.  
“You stay here, flower. I’ll play later.”  
“Okay, Eggsy,” her little voice was so disheartened Eggsy felt tears form, but he had to cough it off and follow Dean, who went straight to Eggsy’s room.

“Ya got the money, Muggsy?” Dean growled, and Eggsy hurried to fish the roll of notes from his sock and hand it over. Dean counted it with a whistle. “Fuck me, so he came through. Who’da thought some rich prick would pay so much for yer arse, eh? Ya got that thing gold plated since the last time I had a go?” Eggsy’s chest felt tight. Dean hadn’t touched him that way in years. Not since he’d put him out on the street. Said he didn’t go with slags, though he was still happy enough to use his mouth, and let his boys do the same. Eggsy had considered it the one positive of what he was doing now. But his words- he wouldn’t?

Dean peeled off five twenties – Eggsy’s cut of his night’s work.  
“Ya want this, yeah?” Eggsy just nodded. Nothing would be the right answer. Nothing would work. Nothing ever had. “How bout y’earn it by showing me what’s so good about that arse of yours?”  
“Dean, don’t. Daisy’s just next door. Mum-,”  
“So ya’d better be quiet, yeah?” Dean grabbed him by the scruff of his neck, pushing him onto the bed and holding him there, using his other hand to easily pull Eggsy’s loose jeans past his hips. “Bet he used ya pretty hard for all that money? Bet yer sloppy as fuck.” Eggsy winced when Dean’s strong finger penetrated his protesting hole. “Did ‘e even fuck ya? Was ‘e some kinky fucker who just paid all that money to watch ya wank, or shit, or summat?”  
“Please, Dean. He did. I’m kinda sore, please don’t-,”  
“Listen, slag, I don’t care if yer all tender like a precious fuckin’ flower.” Eggsy silently thanked a God he definitely didn’t believe in when Dean pulled a condom out of his pocket and clumsily applied it, before thrusting inside, each word punctuated by a guttural grunt. “Fuck though, I see why ya worth the money. Yer as tight as ya were the first time I ‘ad ya.” Eggsy shut his eyes tight, willing himself to just get though it, thankful that Dean at least didn’t expect him to participate, but hearing his words sickly mirror what Merlin had said about how good he felt made him nauseous. 

Luckily, Dean had no stamina, and was coming with a noise like a pig after only a few minutes, tossing the used condom onto the floor. Eggsy yanked his jeans back up and curled in on himself, willing himself not to cry. He hadn’t let Dean see him cry since he was fourteen and Dean had used his mouth the first time, and then called him a ‘fucking pansy faggot’ when he’d cried afterwards. That had happened because his mum had been in the hospital after suffering a late miscarriage because Dean had punched her in the stomach, and Eggsy had vowed since then that he’d keep the heat from his mum in any way he could. These days he wasn’t sure how he felt about that vow, but now he had Daisy to protect instead. 

“Well, I can see now why someone wi’ money ta burn might waste it on a walking fucking hole like you,” Dean sneered. “Gives me an idea though. Ya not going to Soho tonight. Got summat else in mind.”

When Dean had stomped out Eggsy picked the slimy condom from the floor and dropped it in the bin but slumped right back onto the bed, suddenly unable to face anything. There were more messages from Jamal and Ryan, but he couldn’t even read them. It was his fault they’d been dragged into this too, and maybe some of what he accepted from Dean was to protect them too. If Dean hadn’t come into their lives, his two best friends wouldn’t have been drawn into delivering packages for him when they were barely teenagers, wouldn’t have messed up a delivery by getting collared for it, wouldn’t have had Dean demanding a restoration there was no way they could afford after they got out of juvie. The irony was, because of the years they’d spent in Feltham, they’d ended up with a better education than the one they’d have got in the local comp. Eggsy had done okay at school, despite everything, but he knew his best friends would have been dragged into a bad life. And then they’d come out after serving their time and been dragged into it anyway. 

It made Eggsy almost mad. No one snitched on the estate, not even fifteen-year-olds arrested for drug supply. But if they had, Dean would have gone away – would still be away – as his crimes were far more extensive. But they didn’t. And Eggsy wouldn’t have either, in the same situation. He hated it, he hated the estate, he wanted nothing more than to be away from it, but it was part of him. 

There was a timid knock on his door.  
“Come in, flower,” he pulled himself upright and took a deep breath.  
“You okay, Eggsy?” Daisy asked with a worried look in her eyes that was becoming far too common.  
“I’m fine sweetheart. I’m just gonna have a little rest. Why don’t ya play here for a while?”  
“Thanks Eggsy, I’ll be quiet, promise.”  
“I know ya will, petal, you’re allus a good girl.”  
“Mama’s asleep right now. I didn’t wake her, I won’t wake you either.”  
“Thanks, Dais.” Eggsy lay back on his thin pillow and closed his eyes. Whatever Dean had planned for him tonight, he needed his rest, but sleep wouldn’t come.

* * * * *

“You’re brave, showin’ your face here.”  
“Aw, don’t be like that, Merlin,” Harry was irrepressible, as ever, as he leaned over the wooden counter, flicking through a second-hand travel book.  
“What were ye thinking?”  
“That you’d never get laid again if your best friend didn’t give you a helping hand.”  
“But a prostitute?”  
“You have a better idea? You would hardly agree to come to a gay bar. It isn’t like I haven’t tried to convince you. Besides, I didn’t just pick up the first arse I saw. I put effort into finding the right one.”  
“Did ye get him from a service?” Merlin didn’t think so, not with the comment about his pimp, or, for that matter, the boy’s demeanour and dress.  
“I considered an escort. Even met with a couple. But I knew you wouldn’t appreciate the sheen of falsehood they operate under. I knew you’d want someone real, and Eggsy was about the most real person I could find. It took weeks, and, frankly, I have become expert at spotting undercover officers looking for curb crawlers, but as soon as I saw him I knew he was right.” Harry was right that Merlin wouldn’t have wanted an escort. Wouldn’t have wanted the sycophancy. He needed to push though.  
“What made you think he was so right?”  
“You know I’m good at people. I could just tell. He looks after his friends, chased some man off who was making his friend uncomfortable. Didn’t go with everyone who approached, even encouraged some to choose one of his friends instead of him.”  
“So he’s a hooker with a heart of gold?” Merlin mocked, not even sure why he was trying to get Harry to say something negative, when, really, he didn’t want there to be anything bad about Eggsy.  
“Oh, Merlin. One night and the boy is that far under your skin? Seems I was even more right about him than I thought. You mustn’t feel guilty.” Damn Harry and his ‘good at people’. The smug bastard really was.  
“I’m not. Why would I be? And don’t answer that, Harry Hart, you utter git.”  
“I won’t push you, Merlin, I’m not stupid. But remember that Percy and I love you and want what’s best for you. And James would have wanted you happy again. And that isn’t the false platitude I can tell, by that scowl on your face, you think it is. Please don’t forget that, even if James wasn’t to me what he was to you, he was still one of my greatest friends and I knew him very nearly as well as I know your grumpy arse. He was truly selfless, and I think your refusal to even countenance moving on will do nothing more than piss him off, if he is indeed watching over you.” Merlin snorted his derision, but at least partly it was to hide the emotion that Harry’s far-too-true words made rise in him.

* * * * * 

He must have finally managed to doze off, ‘cause Daisy had gone when he woke up and it was dusk outside his window. As he stumbled to the bathroom, his head pounding from the too-long nap, he heard voices in the lounge and shuddered. Dean and his two main henchmen, Poodle and Rottie. He wasn’t going out there, not if he could help it.

When he got out of the shower he felt more human, his headache abated, though his stomach rumbled. He wasn’t about to risk the kitchen though and he cursed, not for the first time, that the flat was so high up and it was impossible to escape through the bedroom window. He glanced at his phone when he was dressed, finally feeling able to respond to Ryan and Jamal. He needed to let them know he wasn’t coming out, but he was distracted by a message from an unknown number.  
_Unknown: Eggsy, do you have plans this evening?_  
He stopped himself from responding with the standard ‘who’s this?’ remembering at the last minute that he hadn’t added Merlin to his contacts. He double checked his entry from the morning and couldn’t help the small grin.  
_Eggsy: I don’t. Dean does tho. Don’t know what yet.  
Merlin: Your stepfather?  
Eggsy: Yes  
Merlin: Tell him you’re busy. You have a client that wants you for the whole night.  
Eggsy: You made of money Merlin?  
Merlin: Not in the least. But I have enough to protect you from that bastard for a night_

Eggsy grinned again, though it fell from his face when he remembered just what had happened when he wasn’t being protected, earlier. He was twenty-two, but Dean made him feel like that vulnerable fourteen-year-old; every damn time. Merlin might be using him too, but it simply wasn’t the same. He didn’t make Eggsy feel like trash. The opposite, really. After only one night, Merlin made him feel special, and wanted. And like a real person who deserved something good. Even if it was a false sensation, Eggsy would take that any time of the day or night over what Dean made him feel.

He changed quickly into a slim fit grey shirt and skinny black jeans with high tops. He knew it wasn’t quite right, but it isn’t as though he could dress like Merlin, who’d been wearing a simple knitted sweater over a shirt with smart black trousers – simple but obviously well-made and expensive, or Harry, whose suit had definitely been bespoke and made of unicorn spit. Merlin might have that deep and sexy accent that was a bit rough around the edges, but they were both posh as fuck compared to Eggsy, and they had the style to prove it. This outfit, for Eggsy, was pretty classy, and he wanted to look his best. As he brushed his teeth again he looked with wonder – even his skin and eyes seemed to have brightened – just at the thought of seeing Merlin.

“You’re dressed up for what we want Muggsy, come ‘ere.” Dean’s voice was a rough growl; he was already half way to totally pissed and Rottie and Poodle were no better.  
“Can’t Dean. Got a client.”  
“Not tonight, you don’t. We have plans.” Eggsy shuddered bodily at the smirking sneer.  
“Nah, Dean,” he tried for casual, “another thousand. Ya want that, right?”  
“Fuck I wish we could make money as easy as your lazy arse, on yer back as usual,” Poodle gasped.  
“Yeah, well, I wish ya would too,” Eggsy muttered, nimbly shimmying past them to the door. “I’ll see ya tomorrow, yeah?” And he was gone, out the door and halfway down the stairs before Dean even shouted something he couldn’t hear. Some threat, no doubt, so Eggsy shrugged it off, jumping over the railing and hopping his way to the ground in double time. 

There was a dark-skinned guy leaning against a silver Mondeo, flicking through his phone. He looked up in surprise as Eggsy appeared from nowhere beside him.  
“You Eggsy?”  
“Yeah?” Eggsy was suspicious, poised to flee, but the guy just looked bored.  
“I’m your uber. A ‘Merlin’ sent me.”  
“Okay,” Eggsy slid into the passenger seat, grateful not to have to battle the tube. He made small talk with the driver, Arjun, who didn’t seem to find anything noteworthy about being sent to pick up a rough kid from the estates and drive him across town to Knightsbridge. 

The car pulled up outside a pub. Eggsy wasn’t sure, but he thought it was pretty close to Merlin’s, maybe he was meant to walk the rest of the way. Arjun checked his messages.  
“This is the place. Merlin says go inside and he’ll meet you. Have a good night.” Eggsy waved as Arjun drove off, and turned to face the pub. It was a proper London pub – housed in a Georgian building, with small leaded windows letting warm light into the street. There were no smokers outside, so it must have a beer garden of some kind round the back. The gold lettering along the black panelling above the windows read ‘The Kingsman’ and Eggsy walked inside, through the open door, into a room filled with dark wood – a polished dark bar and matching chairs around small round tables with brown leather booths around the edges. A ridiculous swirly-patterned red carpet, but not like the ones in the pubs round his way – this one was clean; not a sticky patch to be felt. Panelled walls busy with old-fashioned portraits and the mirrored bar back almost invisible behind countless shelves of expensive alcohol. 

It was busy, so Eggsy made his way to the bar, where a handsome dark-haired man stood. Glasses, grey blazer with a tightly knitted paler grey sweater underneath, well-fitted indigo jeans. He wasn’t as young as Eggsy, probably in his thirties, but he had the look Eggsy dearly wished he could adopt. A casual charisma about him as he smiled slightly lopsidedly at Eggsy, not exactly ignoring the multiple other clamouring patrons, but certainly allowing the two other bar staff to pick up the slack. Eggsy, however, he didn’t ignore.  
“What can I get you?”  
“Uh, do you have Jack and Coke?” Eggsy was uncertain, this seemed a place for something fancier than that, for people who knew the providence of all the glossy spirits behind the bar. The kind of place that might boot him out for asking for Jack Daniels.  
“I should hope so, we’d be a pretty poor pub if I didn’t.” The man laughed, but in a sweet, charming way, not like he was mocking. He free-poured Eggsy’s drink, sliding it over the bar and waving Eggsy’s tenner away. “On the house, for you.” Eggsy was a bit embarrassed, wanting to correct him but not sure how. It wasn’t that the guy wasn’t attractive, he definitely was, but there was the complication of him being here for a very specific, hired for, reason, and then the quite simple impediment that the guy had nothing on Merlin for attractiveness. 

Before he could embarrass himself with an awkward comment, embarrassment came from another quarter.  
“I haven’t seen you in here?” The man had a South African accent and an expensive watch. A man who knew his own worth, but maybe a little too much.  
“Ya wouldn’t have. Never been.” Eggsy shrugged, doing his best to appear calm. It wasn’t as though he wasn’t used to not fitting in; after all, wasn’t that one reason to stay around the estate, to never try for better? They fit in round there, and didn’t fit in anywhere else.  
“I see,” and the judgement was obvious, though it wasn’t necessarily a negative judgement, more a suggestion that the man had made a decision about where this could lead, and he liked it. Eggsy couldn’t be doing with that, glanced at the barman, who smiled warmly, leaning forward for subtlety.  
“Du Preez, we like to encourage new customers to The Kingsman, not send them scurrying away because they can’t even enjoy a single drink without being harassed by you.”  
“You don’t dictate my actions, Percival. You are just a landlord, after all.”  
“Nae,” the voice was deep and effortlessly threatening, “he disnae, but I do, especially when it is my date ye’re harassing.” Eggsy gulped, feeling the warmth of Merlin’s body behind him but not quite touching, feeling a strange sense of pride in the possessive growl of his voice. Du Preez schooled his face quickly, but not fast enough to hide the flash of fear, and Eggsy dismissed him from his mind, turning to face Merlin instead.  
“Thank you, Daddy,” he purred, flaring his eyes, hoping Merlin would still like it, and was gratified by the hazel eyes flashing gold as they widened and then filled with the darkness of lust.  
“Anything for you _mo ghille_ ,” then, voice more normal, “Du Preez is a moron. Thinks he owns people. A man for who abuse of power is a badge of honour instead of shame.”

Merlin guided Eggsy to a booth, where he was surprised to see Harry.  
“Hello, my boy.” It didn’t have the same impact as when Merlin said it, not least because it wasn’t in that fantastical language, or because he certainly didn’t mean it the same way.  
“Hi Harry,” Eggsy smiled, feeling well-disposed to the man he was beginning to view as a great benefactor. He was even more surprised when the barman joined their table, sliding into the booth next to Harry and planting a warm kiss on his cheek before holding his hand out to Eggsy, who shook it slightly awkwardly.  
“Sorry I didn’t get chance to introduce myself properly because of Du Preez’s interruption. I’m Percival. Harry’s husband.” It was the first time Eggsy noticed that Harry wore a simple gold band on his ring finger. Percival’s was a little fancier; the same gold but with diamonds embedded around the circumference.  
“Nice ta meet ya,” Eggsy smiled, already deciding he liked him, and not just because he obviously had good taste.

Eggsy had a good time, discovering that Percival, or Percy, as he preferred, owned the pub, a local landmark, passed down for generations through his family, and that he’d met Harry ten years earlier when he’d taken over and someone called James, from the bookshop next door, called King’s Books, and Merlin and Harry, had begun frequenting the pub. Eggsy couldn’t pry, but he got the feeling James had something to do with Merlin, who stiffened uncomfortably every time his name was said, and he really hoped the guy wouldn’t come in the pub tonight. When Percy went back behind the bar, and Harry went off to the loo, Eggsy shifted a little closer to Merlin, leaning into his strong torso.  
“I don’t wanna tell ya how to spend yer money, Merlin, but this is a very expensive few drinks for ya. How about we head back to your place?”  
“Eggsy, I want ye to promise ye won’t get het up about that. So what if I want to spend some time just talking to ye?”  
“I know. It’s yer own money. But…” Eggsy blushed, a little ashamed of being so needy, but he _wanted_ this, and it was an unheard of feeling. Short of a few fumbles with lads his own age, he’d barely had any sexual interaction that hadn’t left him unaroused, beyond feeling a sense of pride at being good at what he did. Merlin had changed that, quite spectacularly, in one night, and Eggsy wanted more.

But then, Merlin certainly wasn’t as demanding as he was used to. Maybe the man just had white knight syndrome but was secretly disgusted by Eggsy, by what Eggsy was.  
“But, what _mo ghille_?”  
“Don’t ya wanna fuck me, Daddy?” That, at least, always seemed to get some kind of reaction from him.  
“Fuck, _Milis_ , that mouth o’ yours. Of course I do. But I need you to know it’s not only about that. When’s the last time ye were with a man who wanted anything _but_ to use your sweet body?”  
Eggsy tilted his head, a bit confused about why Merlin would care. “Well, other than me mates? Never. I mean, it’s what I do. But I’m beginning ta think ya don’t want my body at all. Ya seem almost reluctant, but it’s what yer paying for. Ya can take what ya want Merlin, ya do know that, right?”  
“I do. But I won’t. I’ll only take what ye give freely.”  
“Okay,” Eggsy breathed a tiny huff of relief, “well, in that case, I give my body to ya, freely. I kinda want ya to use me. That works, right? I don’t normally ever feel safe, ya know, when I do what I do. I don’t hate most of the things I do, though, I only hate why I have to do them, but the _way_ I have ta do it…it’s not a turn on. But with you? Ya made me feel good. Better than I’ve ever felt, hands down. No one’s ever- no one was bothered about my pleasure. That isn’t what it’s about. But you- ya made me feel like you cared whether I got off or not.”

Eggsy wasn’t sure he was explaining it very well. Merlin looked kind of pissed off, and that wasn’t his intention, at all. That could mess this whole thing up. He wasn’t sure how long he would want to keep using him, but Eggsy wanted to keep it going as long as possible.  
“I’m sorry, Sir, I know it’s not your problem-,”  
“No, Eggsy, don’t apologise. I meant what I told you last night. I enjoyed giving ye pleasure. And, please, don’t call me Sir.”  
“Yer kinda dominant though. Ya don’t like it?” Merlin looked conflicted for a moment, and Eggsy leaned a little closer, whispering, “You prefer Daddy, yeah?”  
“Oh, _balach milis_ , ye’ll be the death of me.”

Eggsy hadn’t even noticed Harry return, but he did hear the guffaw from across the table and flushed.  
“Well, Merlin, seems the boy has your number. Why don’t you take his delicious arse home and make the most of it? I suspect he could do with some good quality looking after.” Merlin swore at his best friend, but he did take Eggsy’s hand and draw them out of the booth.

Walking to Merlin’s house, Eggsy was still ashamed Harry had heard, and more than a little bit worried Merlin would think his overactive gob was too much trouble.  
“I’m sorry I embarrassed ya, Merlin, I dint mean ta.”  
“I know, Eggsy. And I’m not embarrassed, so don’t worry. Believe me, the information I have on Harry’s sex life is more than I could ever want to know, a little thing like ye calling me Daddy is nothing.”  
“Ya sure?”  
“I’m always sure Eggsy.”  
“Good, ‘cause I do like it.”  
“So do I. Let’s get back so ye can call me Daddy to your heart’s content.” Merlin pulled Eggsy into his side, just as they were walking past a group of three young men going the other way.

“Fuckin’ disgusting,” one of them hissed as they drew level. Eggsy burrowed just a little more into Merlin’s side, his head hanging.  
“I’m sorry,” Merlin said in a voice that was clearly anything but – Eggsy reflected that it actually had that uber posh cadence that Harry spoke in, “do you have a problem?”  
“Yeah, actually, I do. Yer gross, behaving like that in public. Influencing li’l kids.”  
“I’m sure if there are any influenceable children around at ten o’clock at night, seeing a man with his arm around another man is the least of their problems. I suggest you just mind your own business.”  
“Someone has ta say summat,” the man insisted, ignoring his friends trying to pull him away from the scene.  
“Merlin, can we go, please?” Eggsy begged, clutching his arm.  
“Of course, sweet boy.”  
“What the fuck? Are you a pedo?” The man really wouldn’t let it lie. Eggsy felt sick. The man sounded like Dean, or any number of the vicious, homophobic twats from his neck of the woods  
“Craig, mate, yer gonna get yer head kicked in if ya don’t keep yer mouth shut,” one of the man’s friends hissed.  
“By that old ponce? Not fuckin’ likely.”

Merlin stepped forward.  
“Not old yet, young man, and I won’t kick, but I will punch you.” He waited, to be sure the man could see the determination in his eyes, before landing a punch, hard, to his jaw. The man went down, utter shock visible in his eyes. “And this old ponce is ex-SAS so I suggest ye take more care next time ye want tae spout homophobic bullshit. And this is my manor, so I suggest ye find a new stomping ground for your next night out.”

The man’s friends pulled him up and away, luckily not saying anything else, as they rapidly disappeared down the street. Merlin turned back to Eggsy, who was violently shaking.  
“Shite. I’m sorry _balach milis_ , I shouldnae done that. But I get so sick of the fuckwits thinking they have a say in what goes on.”  
“It’s okay, let’s go.” Eggsy walked quickly, thankful that Merlin easily kept pace with him. He couldn’t explain his reaction. He hated violence; had seen, and been at the receiving end of, far too much, but something about Merlin’s confidence had sent a bolt of something else running through him too, and he was a little ashamed.

When they got to the house, Eggsy pushed up on his tiptoes, slamming Merlin against the living room wall, kissing him hard, swiping his tongue inside his mouth as Merlin gasped against him.  
“I thought ye didnae kiss?” Merlin got out when Eggsy finally let him breathe.  
“Shit. I don’t. Sorry. It’s just- no one’s ever- I can’t believe ya stood up ta that guy.”  
“If ye’ll do that again, I’ll go back out there and take on all-comers,” Merlin chuckled, holding Eggsy to him, stroking his shoulders with a care that made Eggsy start to tremble again.  
“I’m sorry,” Eggsy said again, his voice shaking.  
“Don’t be, lad. Ye like being taken care of, aye?”  
“Aye, I reckon so,” Eggsy cheeked.  
“Hey! If that’s the road we’re travelling, I can always spank that perky arse of yours too.”  
“Might like that too,” Eggsy whispered, blushing. Merlin growled, grabbing Eggsy’s wrist and pulling him up the stairs.

“Strip,” he instructed when they were in his bedroom.  
“Yer gonna spank me now Daddy?” Eggsy asked, and felt his already stiff cock hardening further when Merlin growled again.  
“Fuck, yer tempting me, boy. Hitting all my buttons. Naughty little tease. Want tae do all sorts of things to ye, that I’m not sure are covered by our agreement.”  
“Try me,” Eggsy whimpered, almost overwhelmed by the lust he was feeling. He had to remind himself that Merlin was still just a john, paying for his time. His own deep-seated and hidden desires weren’t allowed a front row in this, but the way Merlin had shown his dominance was doing all sorts to him. He stripped off his clothes, standing before Merlin, who was still clad in his dark jeans and open necked white shirt, though he’d left his blazer downstairs.

“Ye’re beautiful, Eggsy. Could do- fuck,” he ran a hand over his face. “Let me look after ye.” Eggsy just nodded, let himself be guided to the bed and watched through hooded eyes as Merlin pulled items from the bedside cabinet. He held a tie up. “Where do ye stand on this for your wrists?”  
“Yes, please,” was all Eggsy could say, putting his arms over his head. He’d been held down, plenty, but no one had ever bound him as a way to increase his pleasure, and he wanted it, badly. Merlin tied him quickly, expertly, and an experimental tug told him he wasn’t getting out of it without help or a lot of force. It made his whole body judder in anticipation, which only increased when Merlin held up a gorgeous black glass dildo, with a narrow tip and a beaded length.  
“Let’s see how well ye can take this, shall we? Ye gonna relax and accept it for Daddy?”  
“Yes, Daddy,” Eggsy said softly, making sure he kept his breathing calm as Merlin pushed one slick finger inside him.  
“Fuck, boy, if ye could see the way that tight little hole just sucks my finger in- I could do just this all night. Going to make ye feel so good; stretch you open with my fingers, stroking your hot walls, feeling them tighten around me.” Eggsy moaned, feeling the corresponding clench of his passage as Merlin worked another finger into him.  
“Yes, Daddy, feels good,” he murmured it, not quite brave enough to be as vocal as Merlin, it never having been something required of him.  
“Good boy, so relaxed for me, so beautiful, that body all taut and stretched out, your pretty lips wet and open and gasping, like ye want my cock in there. Maybe later, _mo ghille_ , I’ll feed ye my cock, watch those cheeks of yours hollow out sucking on me.” He carefully pulled his fingers from Eggsy’s clenching hole and replaced them with the dildo, sliding it slowly but firmly, until two of the beads were inside Eggsy, who yelped at the cold glass. “Cold isn’t it? Want to see how ye do sensation, would love tae play with ye with hot and cold, making ye shiver and arch. And your burning insides will soon warm this up, so it slides into ye slick and hard.” God, Eggsy didn’t know where his head was at with the filthy things coming from Merlin. Even more so, because he got the impression Merlin was holding back some, probably because of Eggsy’s fucked up background, and he found himself not wanting to be the reason Merlin held back, at all.  
“Yes, Daddy, feels so good inside me, wish it was you though, so huge in my tiny hole. Fuck yer slutty boy with that glass cock.”  
“Fuck, _balach milis_ , killin’ me.” It was Merlin’s turn to whisper, and Eggsy let himself smile joyfully, turning into a moan as Merlin pushed the dildo deeper.

It wasn’t long, with Merlin working him harder, pushing more in before drawing it out and sliding smoothly back in, the bobbled beads creating sensation inside him, before Eggsy felt everything tighten with need.  
“Please Daddy…”  
“Tell me, baby boy.”  
“Make me come, Daddy, please,” Eggsy kind of liked how undone he sounded, how wrecked, and he hoped Merlin did too. He thought so, maybe, because he bent to suck a nipple in as his hand went to Eggsy’s leaking cock, slicking the moisture with a twist.  
“Fuck into my hand, Eggsy, fuck yerself on the cock in your arse.” Eggsy did it, flicking his hips, moving faster as he chased his release, so close, but just out of reach, until Merlin sucked his nipple again, harder this time, a pull of teeth, and Eggsy lost it with an almost-sob, pulling at his bonds and throwing his head back. Merlin kissed his jaw when he’d finally climbed back down, smoothly undoing the tie and hugging cum-splattered Eggsy to him until he’d stopped shaking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh, do let me know what you think


	4. Charlie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean has plans for Eggsy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only hurt in this one, sorry

Eggsy was feeling a little sore in the best kind of way, and Jamal didn’t miss it – the sore part anyway.  
“What happened, Eggsy? Ya’ve not been in Soho, why ya sitting like that?”  
“Jamal! Man, come on.”  
“Jamal’s right,” Ryan interrupted, taking a sip from his marshmallow laden hot chocolate. “Ya haven’t been working, so why are ya sitting like ya just got fucked? Is it Dean?”

Eggsy wanted to shush him in the busy coffee shop, but he was too shocked.  
“What d’ya mean?” he tried, but it sounded fake.  
“Eggsy,” Jamal looked uncomfortable, but he took Eggsy’s shaking hand in his. “Ryan and I’ve been talking…I’m sorry it’s taken so long for us to work it out. Because it has, hasn’t it? Been happening, I mean: Dean doin’ stuff.” Eggsy had nothing to say, he just nodded. Ryan had tears in his eyes – he always was the sensitive one.  
“But this isn’t…I saw Merlin again last night.”  
“Oh! Okay,” Jamal nodded, but he looked concerned. “Is he very rough?” Eggsy blushed. They wouldn’t get it. They weren’t even gay, they certainly didn’t go in for rough handling, and Eggsy shouldn’t, and didn’t, even. But he’d been determined to make sure Merlin got his money’s worth, and they’d both been a little sore by this morning. Eggsy didn’t think getting wrecked would be something he’d want to do all the time, but fuck, if it wasn’t a pretty major turn on when Merlin was spouting all those dirty things in that deep voice and talking about how incredible Eggsy looked taking those toys into his body, just for Merlin (well, just for Daddy, but that was a whole different thing he had no intention of talking about with his best friends). Eggsy had actually lost count of how many times he’d come, though he did know it had been four times on Merlin’s cock.  
“He isn’t rough at all, but there’s a lot going on, if ya catch my drift,” was what he decided on, and Ryan blushed like a Catholic schoolgirl (or maybe not, because everyone knows what _they’re_ like). 

“But what will we do about Dean?” Ryan asked.  
“Nothing?” Eggsy shrugged.  
“How can we do nothing? We knew already about him knocking you around, but it’s hardly unusual for the estate – this is a whole different thing,” Jamal insisted.  
“Is it, though? It’s not great, I know. But I take what he does just like that. I won’t leave me mum or Daisy to him.”  
“I know, Eggsy, but surely ya can get yer mum to leave ‘im, now, if ya tell ‘er?” Ryan had tears in his eyes again.  
“She knows.” It was almost a whisper, but they both heard – the sharp intakes of breath clear. “Daisy is innocent though. I just won’t…”  
“Fuck, Eggsy. Okay. We get it.” Jamal hugged him, but Ryan just looked lost.

Dean had been pretty happy about the new influx of a grand and actually left Eggsy alone that night. So when Merlin messaged the next afternoon and asked Eggsy to meet him in The Kingsman, he practically skipped inside, spotting Merlin in the same booth as the other night and waving at Percy behind the bar.  
“Hi Daddy,” he whispered, thinking it might be a bit much to announce it to the other patrons, but the hungry look in Merlin’s hazel eyes was well worth it. “Can I get you a drink?”  
“Ye can grab that pint Percy’s poured for me.” Eggsy went to the bar and picked up the pint and the Jack and Coke Percy left on the side, pocketing his money when Percy waved it away.  
“Thanks Percy. How’s your day?”  
“Always keep your money in your pocket in here, Eggsy. I’m having a great day, though not as much as you, I’m guessing.” Eggsy blushed and Percy went to collect a used glass, a shit eating grin on his face.

“You trying to get me drunk and have your wicked way with me, Daddy?”  
“No, _mo ghille_ , thought ye might like to spend the afternoon away from your stepfather. I’ll still pay ye though.” Eggsy flushed, a scowl forming.  
“Ya don’t have to pay me to have a drink with me, Merlin. Ya could have just said. I don’t work during the day, Dean wouldn’t know.” Eggsy had no idea why it bothered him so much, it shouldn’t have. Merlin was willing to pay to spend time with him, even without sex. But what did that make him? Well, he knew what he was, and obviously Merlin did too. And he looked fucking gorgeous too. Dark blue jeans and a black knitted jumper, and a fucking leather jacket. But Eggsy still felt sick, couldn’t meet his eyes.  
“Eggsy…I said something wrong. I’m sorry.” That wasn’t fair. How was he allowed to look hurt? It was Eggsy the whore who was so useless.  
“Why don’t you want to see me and not pay me?”  
“Huh?” Merlin looked adorably bemused. It didn’t really suit him, but fuck if it wasn’t cute anyway.  
“Fuck. This doesn’t work.”  
“Eggsy, no. Please explain. I know you only see me because I pay ye. Don’t worry, I’m okay with it.”  
“What the fuck, Merlin?” Eggsy looked guiltily over at the bar, where Percy had stopped with a raised eyebrow, and lowered his voice. “I told ya- I thought it were pretty obvious no one’s ever treated me as well as you do. Believe me, I’d do ya for free if Dean wouldn’t murder me.”  
“Exactly, Eggsy. I won’t have ye getting trouble from him because of me.”  
“So you’d see me even if I weren’t- even if- fuck-”  
“Back at ye, Eggsy. Are ye saying ye’d still want to- you’d see me if I wasn’t paying ye for your time?”

Eggsy stopped. He needed to think. His mind hadn’t processed any of this. He just knew in a vaguely abstract way that he was offended that Merlin was paying him for sex. Which didn’t make any sense: it’s literally what he did. And he’d never been offended before; would, in fact, have straight up pulled the hair of anyone who’d got in his way if Merlin had approached him on the street for a quickie in an alley or the back of a car, the chance of actually being fucked by someone hot too good to miss. But a couple of nights where Eggsy had felt almost like a normal guy, doing normal things with another normal man, with just the most mind blowingly incredible sex thrown in, had thrown his compass completely off track.

“I’m sorry. I was getting above myself. We’re fine. Just…ya know ya don’t have to do this stuff.”  
“What stuff?”  
“The nice stuff. Ya pay me for sex, and it’s incredible. Ya don’t have to do the talking and the watching movies, and the pub, and food. I don’t expect it.”  
“I know ye dinnae, Eggsy. Fuck, _balach milis_ , your just- I ken it’s- I’m just a stupid old fool. I wish ye didnae have tae go back intae that house.” Eggsy sighed, a full body release.  
“Yeah, me too, Daddy. Thanks for looking after me. I’m sorry I flipped out. I don’t even know where my head is at. I know what we’re doing. And thanks for the offer to pay for my time today, but ya don’t need to.”

They chatted a while longer, inconsequentially, but when Eggsy left, he couldn’t really help the dissatisfied feeling in his chest that he’d missed some kind of opportunity.

In the flat, Eggsy hid in his room, as usual, not able to shake the itch that he was dumb. He knew he was liking Merlin way more than he should. He couldn’t afford that. Merlin was saving him from worse things, every time he forked over all that money just to spend time with him, just for access to his body, Eggsy should be grateful for that. He decided he needed to get to Soho tonight though – be there for his two best friends.

When he got out of the shower and put on a comfortable pair of old sweats and a much-washed t-shirt he’d had since he was sixteen, not intending to make more than a token showing on the streets, ignoring the gnawing hunger in his stomach, he jumped to see Poodle standing outside the bathroom door, and flinched when he could hear Dean and Rottie and an unknown voice down the hall. Eggsy looked at Poodle’s smug, fat face and curled his lip.  
“Fuck off, Poodle.”  
“I wouldn’t speak like that, Muggsy. Dean wants ya in there.”  
“Why?” Eggsy couldn’t keep the note of panic out of his voice, even as he tried. He hated showing weakness in front of Dean’s damn dogs.  
“’e dint say,” Poodle leered, “but ‘e did say Charlie’d enjoy ya.”

Fuck. Eggsy knew exactly what that meant, and he was thankful now for the empty stomach – otherwise he might have just puked. He followed Poodle into the room – that Dean must have made Michelle clean up before she took Daisy somewhere, as the place was sparkling – feeling as though he was walking to his own execution.  
“Found ‘im, nice and scrubbed,” Poodle announced, and sat down, giving Eggsy his first look at whoever Charlie was. The guy was actually alright looking – sat in that old ratty armchair like he had enough confidence for everyone in the room. Long legs stretched out, Eggsy could see he was tall, with blond hair and a narrow frame.  
“So this is Eggsy?” he barely passed a glance over Eggsy, turning back to Dean. “Not sure I think much of the tracksuit.” Fuck, he was a posh bloke. Why the hell was he in this grotty flat in an even grottier estate?  
“’e looks much better out of it,” Rottie smirked, leaning forward.  
“I’m sure,” Charlie turned back, not even hiding the way his eyes were traveling up and down Eggsy’s body, and he wished he hadn’t put on a t-shirt that last fit him properly when he was twenty pounds of muscle lighter, and wished the trackies didn’t hang quite so low on his hips. “So you’re telling me I can use him any way I want, once a week, for a ten percent reduction in my supply costs? Why would I want a deal like that? It’s a big reduction you’re asking for, for some council estate slag.” Eggsy bristled but kept his mouth shut.  
“Believe me, ‘e’s worth every penny. But you and I both know yer mark up is a lot higher than that ten percent. Just want it a little more fair, and giving you something in return.”  
“Want bareback. You use protection, right?” he addressed Eggsy for the first time.  
“I’m not-,” Eggsy glanced at Dean, who had his teeth bared as he lifted a small, battered looking doll up and slowly twisted its head off. “Yeah, I do. I’m clean.” So far, he thought.  
“Good. Strip.”  
“What? Here? But-,”  
“Dean, this is not going to work if the dumb bitch can’t even follow an instruction.” Eggsy gulped, swallowing down tears, not even glancing at Dean this time, just pulling his t-shirt over his head and pushing his trackies off so he stood in nothing but his tight boxers.  
“Everything.” Eggsy pushed his boxers down and kicked them away, trying to ignore the smirking faces of the other three men. “Okay, you weren’t lying. He does look quite something out of the chav-wear. On your knees, boy. Come here and suck my cock.” Eggsy dropped to all fours, knowing exactly what was expected of him. Dean loved to humiliate him like this too, and it wasn’t any worse (or any better) coming from this posh bastard, even if the guy was only, maybe, three or four years older than him. And the ‘boy’ certainly didn’t have the same effect on him as when Merlin used it. He crawled over, wincing at the rough carpet on his knees, until he positioned between those stretched legs and could reach up and unzip him, revealing a long but thin cock, soft.

He glanced up, wordlessly asking for permission, figuring a guy like this would like that. He got a sneer in response, but he didn’t seem pissed off.  
“Hands behind your back. Let’s see what that pretty mouth is capable of.” Eggsy grasped his wrist behind his back, lifting a little so he could reach. Charlie was clean, at least, smelling like soap, and circumcised, so easy enough to deal with without hands. He used his tongue, slicking up the length and circling the small head, flicking into the hole. Charlie was silent, on purpose Eggsy figured, because he could tell his breathing had deepened in time with his cock getting rapidly harder. Luckily, he was a show-er, and it didn’t get bigger. It meant Eggsy had no problems sucking it down, swallowing into his throat. It was narrow enough that it didn’t constrict his breathing, even when it was buried as deep as it would go. Eggsy made sure to make it good and sloppy, doubting anyone was going to worry about lube, and allowed himself to be slightly gratified when Charlie let out a grunt, and was clearly getting close. 

“Get up,” he barked at Eggsy, who rose as smoothly as he could, a little surprised when Charlie jumped up almost eagerly and positioned him over the back of the sofa, where Dean and Rottie were sitting at either end, watching avidly. “Arms in box.” Eggsy had no idea what that meant, and Charlie huffed as he positioned his arms behind his back, each hand holding the opposite elbow, forcing his head against the cushions of the sofa. Eggsy yelped as Charlie tried to push straight into his unprepared hole. “Fuck, that’s not working. Open yourself up, bitch.” Eggsy didn’t like being called that any more than when Dean called him a slag, but he was in no position, literally or figuratively, to do anything about it, so he sucked his fingers into his mouth, hoping Dean would take some pity and get lube, but knowing better than to actually ask for it. He didn’t, of course, and Eggsy did the best he could with spit, which really was the worst kind of lubricant, working one, and then two fingers inside himself, experience letting him relax, even as he dreaded what was coming. 

Charlie got impatient after a minute, and Eggsy was beginning to wonder if he’d ever actually fucked a man before, pushing in before Eggsy was properly prepared, this time successfully, but the burn was horrendous and Eggsy yelped out, receiving a smack to the side of his head for his troubles. He was already a little bruised inside, and he was desperate to call out for it to stop, only managing not to because he knew it wouldn’t matter and he didn’t want to let Dean know exactly how much he was hating it, because that fucker would love the fact.  
“Fuck, I’m going to end up with fucking abrasions,” Charlie huffed. “Do you have olive oil?” Eggsy almost snorted, but Dean went into the kitchen and came back with a bottle of own brand cooking oil. “Get him slick.” Eggsy felt Dean pour some of the ice-cold liquid down his crack and felt fingers, that he knew, with a shudder, belonged to Dean, working two fingers in to coat his insides with the oil. Charlie was straight back in, hard and fast now there was no friction, and Eggsy bit his lip at the shooting pain it caused in his belly, so hard he tasted blood. He kept his eyes tight shut and was thankful when he felt Charlie swell inside him, coating his insides with nauseatingly hot spunk. 

When he pulled out, Eggsy grabbed his clothes, stumbling away to his bedroom, hearing Charlie instruct Dean. “Next time, I was him good and sloppy beforehand. I’m not here for having to do that much work.” And Eggsy threw himself onto his bed, hiding the throat burning sobs that wracked his body in the pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should have mentioned this earlier, but sometimes I forget other people don't swear as much as me. There are *a lot* of f-bombs in this. I felt it was character realistic - Eggsy's from a rough estate, and Merlin's from the rough end of somewhere in Scotland (haven't entirely decided where) - saying fuck every second word is pretty in character for people like that, and Merlin's schooled himself out of it but he lets go for Eggsy's comfort.


	5. Comfort/Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is there an aftermath for Eggsy and Merlin after what Dean set up?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, just like the chapter title says; comfort/hurt.  
> Darn got that the wrong way round, oops 😋

“So… Eggsy?” Harry was sprawled in the comfortable armchair in the corner of Merlin’s bookshop, looking for all the world like a debauched eighteenth-century romantic poet, with his uncharacteristically frilly shirt and his floppy, curled, almost-black hair.  
“What the fuck is that shirt, Harry? Never thought I’d see you out of a tailored suit.”  
“Don’t distract, Merlin. Percy bought it for me. Wants me to change my look up. The sweet idiot thinks that this will make me look favourably on jeans and t-shirts.” Harry actually shuddered at the thought. Merlin had to admit the ruffles suited him though. “Anyway, Eggsy?” he repeated, not to be distracted.  
“He’s- fuck it, he’s incredible, okay? Thank you for the gift, Harry.”  
“Well, it was about time. You’d have died an old maid, your virginity grown back, if you were left to your own devices.”  
“What an image. I was thinking…” Merlin wasn’t sure how to explain the somewhat convoluted processes his mind had gone on, but if anyone would understand it was a brother in arms.  
“Oh, I know what you’ve been thinking Hamish Mycroft Merlin. I’ve never seen you smile so much, unnerving as it is, as you have the last few days. The lad used his rather charming wiles on you and now you’re planning on keeping him as your own personal plaything.”  
“It’s not like that, Harry. Well, not precisely. At a thousand a night, I couldn’t afford exclusivity, regardless of decent savings. Not that he wouldn’t be worth it.” Merlin whispered the last, but Harry’s sharp ears caught it and his gaze was appraising.  
“Really? He caught you that hard? Well, I’m sure you’ve been giving him a sufficiently good time too, won’t he accept a discount for something regular?”  
“Not as simple as that, Harry. He doesn’t keep the money.”  
“Oh. Something you want my particular skills to do something about? Wouldn’t mind ridding the world of a pimp.”  
“Thinking more Roxy’s skills, actually.”  
“A copper? What are you planning?”  
“Nothing yet. There’s something there, and I want more of it, but I need to think more. I’m asking Eggsy if he’s free tonight though.”

* * * * *

Eggsy was drained. Thank god Dean had left him alone today. He hadn’t even commented when Eggsy hadn’t come out of his room, though Eggsy was tense, in case it was because he had some other client lined up for the flat. But he could hear his mum shuffling about, and Dean wouldn’t, would he? Not with her in the house. But Eggsy realised there was no real reason to think that would stop Dean – with some of the things he’d done to Eggsy right in front of her, especially lately. She was more out of it by the day. 

It was almost eight when his phone buzzed with a message from Merlin, asking if he was busy.  
_Eggsy: not really – nite off  
Merlin: if I send a cab, will you come over?  
Eggsy: … _

Eggsy left the thought hanging for too long. He was sore as fuck, pretty sure Charlie’s rough entry had made him bleed – cut him up. Didn’t want Merlin to see whatever mess might be going on down there. But fuck, if he didn’t want to see Merlin, so bad. See the one person who had ever been tender with him that way. So what if he was just using him like everyone else did? – the way he did it was something else. Something Eggsy could definitely find himself getting used to. 

After going back and forth for almost an hour inside his mind, Eggsy had decided it was too late. So why he found himself sneaking past a drunk Dean sprawled on the couch – on _that_ couch – screaming obscenities at some match on the TV, was a mystery. And how he found himself on the tube, and then walking up to Merlin’s front door, was an enigma for the ages. He half expected Merlin to have gone out, but he answered the knock, his face a picture of shock when he saw Eggsy.  
“ _Mo ghille_ , come in. I wasnae expecting you.”  
“I’m sorry, I can go?”  
“No. Don’t. Ah’m glad ye came. Harry’s here, but he’s off soon.” Merlin guided Eggsy into that welcoming lounge and he saw Harry, looking just as smooth as last time, and Percy. They were a very hot pair, and Eggsy idly wondered if all Merlin’s friends were models in their spare time.  
“It’s nice to see you, Eggsy.” Percy jumped up with a warm smile and hugged Eggsy, to his surprise, and apparently the other two as well. “We’ll get out of your hair then,” Percy looked at Merlin’s shining head and snorted, getting a roll of the eyes from both Merlin and Harry.

Merlin showed the two of them out while Eggsy stood like a spare part, wondering if this was just a really bad idea. He was beginning to realise he might not even be able to perform tonight, but if Dean realised he’d snuck out and he didn’t come back with money he’d be in for a world of pain. But he couldn’t take Merlin’s money and give him a second-rate experience. He was contemplating making his excuses and heading to Soho to meet Jamal and Ryan – maybe he could earn enough on his knees to tide Dean’s anger over – when Merlin returned. His warm hazel eyes just looked so kind, and a little worried – a look he hadn’t received from anyone in such a long time – he felt tears rise.  
“ _Balach milis_ , sweet boy, come here.” Merlin hugged Eggsy to him and Eggsy just let him, burying his face into the fresh scent on Merlin’s shirt. He managed not to let the tears fall, even if it was close, but he knew if they did, then they wouldn’t stop.

“Thanks, Merlin.” Eggsy pulled away with a sniff, refusing to make eye contact. He just knew those gorgeous hazel orbs would be looking kindly – kinder than anyone had looked at him in long years. Sure, Daisy loved him, but she was way too young to understand, thank god, and Jamal and Ryan had enough on their own plates, even with what they knew now.  
“Will ye come watch a film?”  
“C’mon Merlin. It’s nice o’ ya to not be pushin’ all the time, but you pay a lot. More than ‘movie watching’ money. Let me do summat for ya.”  
“Like what?”  
“Anything ya can think of Merlin. Promise. Kinda wanna do good for ya.” The last bit was whispered with a blush, but Eggsy knew Merlin had heard because of the low growl, which did _things_ to Eggsy’s whole lower region.  
“Will ye tell me why ye came now? I didnae think ye would.”  
“Wanted to see ya.” It felt weird to admit that so clearly. But mainly weird ‘cause it felt so right. And Merlin didn’t seem pissed off or freaked out, which had to be good, yeah?  
“Come sit with me, at least. Surely if I’m allowed to demand anything I want off ye, I can demand a conversation?”  
“I guess.” Eggsy followed Merlin to the couch, where Merlin stretched his long legs out and pulled Eggsy’s back onto his own chest. Eggsy couldn’t believe how comfortable it felt, with Merlin’s arms gently curving round him.

“Never done this,’ he admitted.  
“Never snuggled on a sofa? Lad, your missing out.”  
“Yeah, getting that. Prob’ly a lotta stuff I’ve never done. Normal stuff.”  
“Maybe I can be your normal for a while. Will ye tell me something?”  
“What?”  
“Ye told me your step father is your pimp. Ye work the street because of him. Did he make ye?”  
“He’d say no. He’d say it were me own choice.”  
“Dinnae care what he’d say. Want to know what you’d say.”  
“He told me if I didn’t go out in Soho, with some o’ the other lads and lasses ‘e runs, ‘e’d have ta get me mam earning that way instead. Said she were spending too much on drugs and said Daisy were costing too much. I couldn’t save her from him when ‘e came into our lives. Been trying ta save her ever since.”  
“So, how long?”  
“I were eighteen the first time he sent me out. Four years.” Eggsy was tense. He knew Merlin would want more information, but if he told him the truth, he might tell him to get out, might be disgusted. He didn’t know what this was, but he knew he didn’t want it finished that way.  
“It’s okay _balach milis_ , I know this is personal. I just want to understand.”  
“I know. You think I’m sick for staying. I get it. But I couldn’t leave mum. And then, when Daisy came…she’s me flower, she’s the only thing that’s precious and pure in me life, and if I have to take it for her ta stay safe, then I do. No arguing.”

“I understand, Eggsy. Tell me about your step father though. He’s violent, I presume?”  
“Yeah, violent. And the rest.”  
“Which means?”  
“He’s a fucking pervert. Allus has been, but I think he’s getting worse.” Damn. Shouldn’t have said that-  
“What do you mean? What does he do?” Maybe it would be for the best anyway. It wasn’t healthy for him to be feeling so- so reliant on Merlin, after only knowing the man for two nights. Two nights of incredible sex, sure, but if he scared Merlin off, let him know just how messed up things were on his end, maybe it would be for the best.  
“Ya want my life story? Me dad died when I was a kid. I was six, but I remember he was amazing, allus there for me, playing with me. But the estate’s rough. It was some kind of gang thing he got caught up in the middle of, and things changed. Me mum loved him so much, and she lost herself when he was gone. Couldn’t really look after me, but I was allus pretty self-sufficient, and she kept going for my sake. Worked all the hours, that kinda thing. But she was sad. A bone deep thing that I couldn’t help her with, for all I tried. 

“When she met Dean, everything seemed good, for a while. ‘e were so considerate of her. She used to be real pretty, back then, and ‘e were proud of her, showing ‘er off at the pub and stuff. He brought her flowers, and used to bring me toys, and tell me I was good at being the man of the house, would smile and ruffle me hair when I’d say I was, and that I protected mum. I were ten when ‘e moved in, and I were twelve when I properly realised it was wrong. That he’d belt me mum if she didn’t cook his dinner right, and that ‘e’d drag her off to the bedroom to ‘be a proper wife’ even though I dint really get what that meant, just got confused ‘cause they weren’t married – thought it was some grown up way for him to propose, but then there was never a wedding, and I figured it out eventually. 

“So when I realised, I started to get in between them when ‘e went for her. And I was getting hit instead, but I thought it was okay, because I were just being mum’s protector, and that was me job. But without prop’ly realising, it were getting worse. Dean sells drugs, too, as well as the prostitutes, and he were getting mum hooked. I didn’t know, ‘e was careful to keep it hidden until she were prop’ly addicted, and I weren’t enough to make ‘er stop, because it had her too hard. I thought finding that out was the worst moment of my life…”  
“But it wasn’t?” Merlin was gentle in his probing, although it still jarred. But Eggsy had started now, and he was going to see it through.  
“No. There’s been a few competing for that, since. When I were fourteen, mum got pregnant, but Dean punched it out of her, and she were in hospital for a week. Dean decided I needed to fill her role.”  
“What?! Shite, sorry _mo ghille_ , but you’re telling me he sexually abused ye?”  
“Yeah. My mouth, for a long while. It didn’t stop when mum came back, but it didn’t escalate for a long while, neither. ‘e convinced me it were a good thing, I were keeping me mum safe in a different way. And I believed him, ‘cause he were less violent for a while. But I felt bad,” Eggsy glanced back at Merlin, ashamed, but he was on a roll, “when I liked it. The feel of it. The power I got from being able to turn ‘im on. I realised I were gay, but I never told him. Never _liked_ liked it with him, but I did some stuff with a couple of lads from school, that I actually fancied, and realised it was even better when you’re attracted to the guy.”  
“Oh, _mo ghille_ , there’s no shame in that. Wish that’s nae how ye found out, for sure, but there’s nothing wrong with taking pleasure where ye can.”  
“I wouldn’t call it pleasure. I got to likin’ doing it, but I was never turned on, really. I’ve never in me life got hard from him. When I were fifteen, me mum was in hospital again. Overdose. She were gone for weeks – psych ward. Dean told me I had to do more.”  
“He raped you.”  
“Yeah. He started to come in me room then a lot more. At least a couple of times a week. It were about that time me two best friends got sent ta Borstal when they got caught running drugs for Dean, but they didn’t snitch. So I were properly on me own. Me mum was out of it allus, and I had no one. Just figured I had to put up with it. I worked hard at school, though Dean stopped me from doing gymnastics about then – said it were for pooftas, funnily enough. Thought I’d leave when I were eighteen, get away, maybe to the army or summat. But when I were almost seventeen, mum got pregnant with Daisy. And then I weren’t going anywhere, and Dean had summat new to keep me in line with.”

“My god, Eggsy,” Merlin’s nose was pressed up against the back of Eggsy’s neck, and his arms had wound round tighter. “I’m so sorry ye had to go through that. Shit, that you’re still going through that.”  
“Well, it ain’t changing anytime soon. Daisy’s five. She needs me more than ever. Dean seems to have got it in his head that he can make more money off me if I work out the flat. ‘e had some dealer over last night. ‘e were kinda rough. Still a bit sore. That’s why I weren’t sure about coming here tonight.”  
“Hey, baby boy, Daddy’s got ye. I’ll take care of ye.” Eggsy stifled a sob at that. God, to have someone who would take care of him. Who wanted to. Who didn’t see him as a burden, or a reminder, or an inconvenience. Maybe it wasn’t just a business thing, not simply him paying for convenient sex. It wasn’t like he was a man who could only get it if he paid – Merlin was gorgeous – but it was too much for Eggsy to think about just then.

Merlin stood, pulling Eggsy up with him.  
“Up,” he instructed. Eggsy giggled. He was shorter than Merlin, sure, but he wasn’t light, and Merlin was lean. But fuck, if every one of those lean muscles mustn’t have been perfectly honed, because he held Eggsy easily, legs wrapped round his waist, arms round his neck, and carried him up the stairs without even needing to breathe heavier. 

In his bedroom, Merlin stripped Eggsy, almost reverentially, kissing over the bruising on his hips and arms as skin was revealed, laying him carefully on the bed. He got some oil and massaged it into Eggsy’s sore back and arm muscles, until he’d been turned into a puddle of pleasure.

“I dinnae ken what magic your working on me, _balach milis_ , but ye have me in your spell. All I want tae do is take care of ye.”  
“All?” Eggsy smiled into the pillow. He literally couldn’t remember a time he’d felt this good, this safe – certainly never this cared for. And with a man he’d known for a total of a few hours. But hey, maybe it’s true that when you know, you know.  
“No, sweet boy, not all, not by a long shot. But you’re sore, so I willnae be adding to that.”  
“Am sore, Daddy, but wanna make ya feel good. Let me?”  
“Aye, in a bit. First though, stay there.” Eggsy waited, resting his head on his forearms, until Merlin came back, the sound of a bottle opening. “This cream is really good for sore and broken skin, and for bruising.” Eggsy felt Merlin’s strong hand spreading his arse cheeks, but the embarrassment was fleeting. “Oh, _balach_ , sweet boy. He was too rough. You’re swollen and red. I’ll take care of ye.” The cream was cold, but it felt good against his flesh, which had been burning in a bad way, as Merlin worked it around the swollen muscle with his finger, pressing gently but firmly against him, adding more cream, circling until Eggsy was close to begging for more.  
“Ye still sore?”  
“Yes, Daddy, but please, put your finger inside me, I need more.”  
“Such a hungry little boy, aren’t you _Milis_?” Eggsy could only mumble his agreement, turning to a low moan when Merlin pushed one slick finger slowly inside. “Fuck, your beautiful. Look at you taking it, so perfectly slutty for Daddy.” Eggsy could feel that Merlin was coating his insides with the cream and it felt incredible, already working on the abused walls. “Open up for me _Milis_ , my sweet, perfect boy. Take another finger for me.” Eggsy arched, just a little, just to show Merlin that he could, and would, take anything that was given to him. When Merlin slid a second finger in, with more cream, Eggsy let out a mewl of pleasure as Merlin’s finger tips brushed over his gland, luckily not at all sensitive, as Charlie had managed to miss it like it didn’t exist during his rough ploughing.  
“Such a good boy, _Milis_ , so responsive to touch. Ye havnae been touched enough I think, but we’ll soon make up for that.” 

Eggsy just whined, his vision blurring with the overwhelming sensations. He’d had plenty of shite sex in his life, and a small amount of average sex, but until a few days ago, he’d never had incredible sex, and he’d never, ever, been touched like this, by someone whose only desire was to give him pleasure. He could feel the coil forming, his stomach tightening, tried to stave it off because he wanted it to last forever. But Merlin leaned his long body over, whispering in Eggsy’s ear, his hot breath fanning, tickling, “There’s so many things I want tae do with this delectable body of yours Eggsy, want to make ye feel every kind of pleasure over and over until ye can barely remember your own name and can only whimper for Daddy.” Eggsy lost it then, feeling the heat of his release against his stomach, his muscles tightening so hard it was almost painful, but, for the first time, a pain that included pleasure, and, he was fairly certain, made his orgasm last far longer than usual.

* * * * * 

Eggsy woke with a start, tangled in the sheets, coated with a fine sheen of sweat. There’d been a nightmare, of course. It wasn’t every night, but more often than not. He was alone – the room barely lit by a light on in the hallway. When he pulled himself free of the sheets he felt an uncomfortable stickiness from the thick cream than Merlin had coated him with, though he felt far less swollen and sore. He pulled his pants on and the t-shirt he’d been wearing, under his one good shirt, an old Metallica one. The shirt had been his attempt to look a little smarter for Merlin, but he didn’t think he'd mind if it was just the t-shirt now, as he sleepily made his way downstairs.

Merlin was watching the news on the large TV, his long legs crossed at the ankle, resting on the dark wood and metal coffee table, and Eggsy though he was doing a good job of not disturbing him, when Merlin turned.  
“Did ye sleep well, _Milis_?”  
“What does that mean?”  
“Just ‘Sweet’.”  
“So it’s like a nickname ya’ve given me?”  
“I suppose it is. Do ye mind?”  
“No. I like it. I like your voice and I like the things ya say to me,” Eggsy breathed, fast, as if he wasn’t quite sure he wanted Merlin to hear.  
“I like saying things to ye. But I want you to remember that ye must tell me if there’s anything ye dinnae like.”  
“Don’t call me a slag,” Eggsy blurted. “Or a bitch. Like it when ya call me a slut though, specially your slut.” Eggsy’s face was pink and he couldn’t make eye contact.  
“I understand, _Milis_. You can be my little slut, but I willnae call ye the other stuff.” Merlin gestured for Eggsy to come sit with him, and Eggsy sank into the seat, leaning against Merlin’s strong frame. “Do ye know why?”  
“Yeah. Dean calls me a slag. And a lot of the johns say bitch. Those words make me feel worthless. But I enjoy the things we do. I can be as filthy as ya want, for you.”  
“I understand,” Merlin said again, stroking through Eggsy’s soft hair. “And you can call me Daddy?”  
“Well, ya’re Daddy as fuck.”  
“Cheeky boy, _Milis_. I like ye calling me it. Ye ken I’ll look after ye when ye’re with me?”  
“Yeah. I trust ya, ya know?”  
“I’m glad, even if I’m surprised.”  
“I know. It’s dumb.”  
“Not dumb, Eggsy. Amazing that ye can be that trusting after all the things that’ve happened to ye. Think it says something just a little wonderful about ye.” Eggsy blushed again. Was it too much, that just one guy being nice to him was making him lose all the walls he’d put up for the last ten years? He couldn’t think about it too hard. He knew if he did, then all his power would be gone, drizzled through the cracks. Instead, he could do what he was good at, take some of that power back.

“Let me make ya feel good, Daddy, please.” Eggsy slid to the floor, looking up at Merlin, making sure his eyes were big and innocent – the soft, glistening puppy eyes that he knew guys liked to see, even if it usually just meant they were even rougher, some obsession with destroying purity being brought to the fore. But he had a feeling Merlin wouldn’t react that way and, hell, even if he did, it’s not like it was anything Eggsy couldn’t deal with. Eggsy expertly released Merlin’s half hard cock and rolled a condom on, grabbed from the console table on his way over. He had a fleeting thought that any guests Merlin had to the house would have got more information about Merlin’s sex life than they should have – the pretty glass bowl was still brimming with a dozen condoms – it looked like a table at the GUM clinic. Eggsy took Merlin into his mouth, not teasing, as the reduction in sensitivity made it pointless, though Eggsy would have liked the chance to tease Merlin, wondered whether Merlin would let him, or if it would make him more dominant. Eggsy kind of liked the thought of pushing Merlin into dominance, could tell he had it in him, even if he seemed focused on being careful and kind right now. Hell, Eggsy would take that, too: right now, he’d take anything Merlin was willing to give. 

When Eggsy had disposed of the condom, which had been pineapple flavoured that time, he went back to the couch, and Merlin pulled him into his lap.  
“Can I ask, Eggsy, how long ye’ll stay there?” Eggsy stiffened, immediately feeling trapped.  
“Merlin, please… I don’t wanna talk about it.”  
“Why not?”  
“Merlin, it’s me life. I’ve known ya a few days, ya can’t just sweep in and make me start changing everything. Daisy needs me, and I’ll not leave her to Dean. Fuck knows what he’ll do to her when she’s a teenager, ‘e already resents fuck outa her.”  
“But she’s five? Ye can’t just stay there, with that man, another, what? Thirteen years?”  
“I doubt he’ll let me. I’m sure I’ll be- no, anyway, I know I won’t be around to save Daisy forever, but I’ll be around as long as I can.”  
“But he’s getting rougher, ye said it yerself. And what about yer mother? She’s an addict? What will happen to her?”  
“And me leaving will solve that, how?”  
“Not leaving as such. Ye need Dean out of your lives.” 

Eggsy sprang up, glaring accusingly at Merlin.  
“You have no idea, Merlin. Stop acting like ya can just waltz inta my life and make me change everything. It were all working fine before. Ya pay for me time and me body, and that’s fine, but you ain’t owning me head. Ya have no idea what it’s like out there, here in yer fancy house in fucking Knightsbridge with yer fancy job, whatever that is, that allows ye to buy a whore for a thousand quid a night, a whore ya barely even fucking use. Why do ya even care if I’m sore, or what happens ta me at home? It ain’t your responsibility.” Fuck, Eggsy already felt guilty about his outburst, Merlin was sitting there like he’d been slapped.

“I’m sorry Merlin. Listen, I’ll just go.”  
“Stop.” Eggsy had turned to leave but Merlin’s voice was not gentle, perhaps for the first time ever with Eggsy, and he paused, refusing to look. “You want to know why I care what happens to you?” Merlin sounded posh again – stern and angry. “Why I dare even think I can get involved in your life? You want _my_ life history now?”  
“I guess, if it’s relevant, I deserve it, don’t I?” Eggsy whispered.  
“Why? You’re just a whore? Do you get the story of every one of the men you suck or fuck for money?” Eggsy whimpered, the truth hurting more than it should. He dared a peek at Merlin, whose jaw was clenching.  
“Yer right, I’m sorry.”  
“Fuck. No, Eggsy. Your stronger than this. Stand up to me.”  
“It ain’t that easy, Merlin.”  
“Of course it isn’t. You’ve been lied to, belittled, abused, for ten years. But I want to help ye. I can’t if ye keep seeing me like one of them.”  
“But why d’ya want to? I’m nothing, Merlin. I don’t even get why ya keep paying for me. Someone like you- fuck, even if ya want a boy, ya could pick up someone better than me in any bar in the city. Yer fucking gorgeous. Smart, kind. What am I other than a useless hole? I’m not even that good at it, how can I be when most of my practice comes against an alley wall?”  
“Fuck, Eggsy. Ye- ye more than ye realise. Maybe it’s too selfish, but I want more of ye.”  
“How can ya? I’m fucking broken, bruv. Chewed up and spat out. I’m worthless.” Merlin moved in, dragging the sobbing boy into his arms, stroking his hair, telling him over and over that he wasn’t worthless, that he had more worth than any other man Merlin knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See not so mean - a glimmer of comfort at the end too, and the hurt was mainly just Eggsy being self-defeating. I'm sure we'll build him up out of that soon enough.


	6. The end of the f***ing world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How much will Eggsy take?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this is the worst. So, sorry, I guess.   
> Big hurt/angst/abuse.

Merlin was furious. How could anyone be so cruel to that sweet boy? Eggsy had fallen into a fitful sleep after his release of emotion, and Merlin had carried him upstairs and tucked him into bed. In the morning he’d made breakfast, and the mood had been subdued, Eggsy’s eyes still a little red-rimmed. When Eggsy had left, bundled into an uber with another thousand, that he’d tried to refuse, but Merlin had reminded him Eggsy certainly wasn’t going to get beaten, or worse, for something Merlin could prevent, Merlin had showered and dressed and gone to the bookshop.

“I wasn’t expecting you, Merlin,” Tristan admitted, smoothing his sandy hair out of his eyes.  
“I know, Tristan. Just felt like distracting myself. I’m just going to reorganise medieval literature. Pretend I’m not here.” Merlin knew Tristan was more than a little in love with him, and he reflected on it, off-handedly, as he pulled the books free from their small corner in order to clean and restack them with new customer-facing temptations. Tristan was young – twenty-five or six, Merlin thought – a graduate student obtaining a Master’s degree in Classics, and quite handsome: light hair and pretty blue eyes. But Merlin had never been tempted to act on the obvious hero worship the boy placed on him and, for the first time, he was wondering why. 

James, of course, was a large part of it. Merlin certainly hadn’t been ready to move on, possibly still wasn’t, really. And James had known Tristan, as the boy had worked in the bookshop for three years now. But it was more than that. Tristan, pretty as he was, had never sparked anything like excitement in Merlin’s gut. Unlike Eggsy. A boy he’d known for such a short time, but who made him smile with a warmth he’d not felt for years, and gave him a thrill inside that it was possible he’d never felt. He didn’t know whether the sensation excited or terrified him.

When he met Harry in the pub for lunch there was an unexpected addition to the table.  
“Uncle Merlin! You look…” Roxy paused, her head tilted, “really great.”  
“Dinnae sound so surprised, hen,” he gruffed.  
“Hey, don’t go all Scottish on me, just because I’m telling you the truth. You look happy.”  
“Harry, do something about your cheeky niece.”  
“Of course, Merlin. Roxy, how very dare you suggest Merlin is anything other than a dour, miserable man. Take it back, immediately.” Roxy giggled and gave Merlin a suffocating hug.

“I’m glad ye’re here, Roxy, I’d like to run something by ye.”  
“Sure thing uncle Merlin, I’ll help any way I can.”  
“Hypothetically, what are the chances of getting a man who’s a known pimp and drug dealer locked away?” Harry raised a brow at Merlin’s question while Roxy pondered.  
“Well, it’s two different task forces, but they often run joint operations. But if you’re asking if you can just phone up and report someone and they’ll be arrested, it isn’t that simple, unfortunately. There’s usually a chain of command involved in crimes like that, and the DCIs definitely prefer going for the big fish, which means the minnows often get away with it.”  
“That won’t do. What counts as a big fish?”  
“Usually the main supplier, for drugs. People traffickers are usually the big ones in vice operations.”  
“So some man who operates dealing an’ pimping on a local level in the East End is unlikely to go down?”  
“Unless he’s swept up in some wider operation. And even then, they’re likely to offer him clemency if he’ll give them something on the higher ups.”  
“Damn it.”  
“What are you thinking, Merlin?” Harry asked.  
“Obvious, I’d have thought. Eggsy can’t escape from his stepfather while his young sister is at risk. He simply won’t leave her, which I admire him greatly for, but it puts him right in the firing line. And his mother is heavily addicted to drugs and in no position to get the girl away.” Harry pursed his lips; he hadn’t known the details but it was clear they didn’t surprise him, only disgusted him.  
“Well, I hate to say it uncle Merlin, but you have one sure fire way to get the child away.”  
“Don’t say it.”  
“But I will: Social Services. The department has its problems, but if the mother is incapable and the father’s a known dealer, they will remove the child.”  
“Eggsy would never forgive me.”  
“But is it really only about how Eggsy feels about you, Merlin? You’re right the child should be saved, and Roxy’s given you the only way that will work. I can help you know. There must be ways to soften the blow for the boy?” Merlin sighed, accepting the truth of Harry’s words, and allowed himself to be distracted from the situation by Roxy demanding to know all about Eggsy.

* * * * * 

Eggsy wasn’t angry. How could he be? This was his norm. Of course Merlin was disgusted by him, and why wouldn’t he have been? Eggsy recognised it in the awkwardness of their breakfast, in the way Merlin had bundled him away as quickly as possible, promising to call, but with a distance in his eyes that told Eggsy he probably wouldn’t. 

“Charlie is over tonight. Yer not going anywhere.” Eggsy knew there was no point arguing with Dean, who announced it as soon as Eggsy came through the door. “Ya mum’s taking the brat to ‘er sister’s.”

Later, when he’d said goodbye to Daisy, who hadn’t wanted to leave but shuffled out with her mum without making a fuss, Eggsy prepared himself for what was coming. He didn’t want a repeat of the previous time, so after his shower he prepped himself thoroughly, using his fingers and lube to stretch himself out. He put smart jeans on, remembering how Charlie had been unimpressed with his casual outfit, and a shirt. When he went to the living room, he’d almost managed to convince himself that this was just another normal night. He wasn’t doing anything that he hadn’t done a hundred times. He should be thankful, he thought, that he would only have to take it once. If he was out in Soho, he usually got fucked at least five or six times, and always had a sore and aching jaw on top of that. 

Charlie didn’t look the same. There was a vicious sneer on his face when Eggsy walked into the room, on almost steady legs, a sneer that nearly had Eggsy turning on his heel and getting out, but Dean was standing behind him, arms crossed.   
“I see the little slag has arrived,” Charlie smirked. “I’ve been thinking, and I want a good show for my money.” Okay, Eggsy could put on a show, no problem- “Pin him on his stomach.” Dean didn’t hesitate, and Rottie and Poodle moved in too, the three of them holding him down, his cheek pressed to the rough, stinking carpet, though he didn’t know who by. He tried to struggle, but with six hands on him there was no chance. Eggsy’s muscles came from gymnastics and from running, even free running. They were lean and filled with stamina, but they weren’t bulky muscles for beating people, which is what those three had, and he didn’t have a hope against them.

“I want a loose and sloppy hole. Little slag like that, shouldn’t be a problem.” Eggsy knew that wasn’t true. He could relax well enough by now, he had the experience for that, but he just wasn’t built for what Charlie was saying. He tried to interrupt, to let Charlie know he’d prepped himself; the guy could go as hard as he wanted, but deep down he knew Charlie didn’t really give a fuck. For some reason, he wanted Eggsy humiliated, and Eggsy couldn’t say it anyway, his face pushed further until he could barely breath. He felt hands pulling his jeans off, his shirt getting pulled away, losing a couple of buttons he was sure. He could just see Charlie’s long frame as he stood and walked behind Eggsy, his measured movements building a bigger fear, forcing a struggle from Eggsy almost unwillingly – he knew it was useless, but he couldn’t stop himself from trying. 

His hips were lifted and something was shoved under him – a pillow, probably – and he heard the click of a bottle being opened, smelled the cloying scent of that cooking oil they’d used on him last time.  
“What ya doing?” Dean asked, and Eggsy shuddered involuntarily at the intrigue in his voice.  
“Opening the slag up,” Eggsy hated the abstract way Charlie referred to him, like he was an object, not a person. He could feel Charlie’s long fingers forcing their way inside him, three easily getting passed the taut entry because of the frictionless effect of the oil, but, despite that, he whimpered and tried to wriggle away when Charlie forced his pinkie in too. He attempted to tell them it was too much, even as he knew it was pointless, but his voice was a smothered whimper. Eggsy was trying to relax, he really was, but Charlie had no interest in what he was feeling, or in taking it slow, and Eggsy couldn’t help the fact that he was tensing around Charlie’s fingers, even as he shoved them in deeper, until Eggsy could feel the sharp knuckles forcing him wider. The tears were rolling, melting into the rough carpet, and he screamed, barely heard, as Charlie kept pushing, until his entire fist disappeared inside Eggsy’s brutalised hole. The pain was incredible, it felt as though he’d been sucker-punched in the stomach, and he felt the waves of cramping run through his abdomen, as nausea swelled in his throat. He couldn’t even hear what they were saying, a buzzing filling his head instead, with only the faintest knowledge that there were noises of excitement and shock from behind him.

He felt like his insides were falling away when Charlie finally yanked his fist free, and he could feel cool spit landing inside, against the sore walls, and knew they were taking their turns to spit inside his body. Eggsy’s nose was stuffed with snot from his unheeded tears, and he could barely breath, his mouth still smooshed to the floor. Eggsy had a moment of hope; maybe Charlie would just fuck him now and get it over with, but the bastard wasn’t finished. Eggsy heard a smug laugh, and felt something different at his entrance, heard a strange crackle, and realised it was the plastic bottle that contained the oil, being pushed into his body. He started to fight in earnest now – they were going to damage him in some serious way if they kept going, but, again, he was reminded of his total lack of power as someone pinned his hips and someone else took his legs, so he was held static while Charlie did exactly what he wanted to.

By the time Charlie pushed inside him, Eggsy was drifting in an out of consciousness, feeling as though he’d been beaten, with pain radiating through his lower body and bruises blooming where so many hands had him.

* * * * * 

When Eggsy opened his eyes, there was bright light falling across his face and something soft was sweeping across his body. He could hear sobbing, and pried his swollen lids open more to look and see his mother wiping him with a dampened tea towel.   
“Mum?” his voice cracked.  
“My darling boy, I’m sorry, so sorry.”  
“Shit, mum, where’s Daisy?” Eggsy tried to sit up, to cover himself, but cried out as he moved, unable to lift himself more than a few inches.  
“I sent her to her room. She didn’t see anything. D-Dean; he’s not here.” Eggsy breathed a minor sigh of relief at that. “Eggsy, I’m sorry I haven’t protected you like I should have-,”  
“Mum, I know you couldn’t-,” really, though, what was Eggsy supposed to say to his mother’s apology? She _hadn’t_ protected him. Was he supposed to offer her acceptance for that? He couldn’t go that far. But he couldn’t hate her either; it wasn’t as though she’d been protecting herself instead. She was lost, as much as him, if not more. 

She ran worn fingers over Eggsy’s torso, a sharp agony.  
“Did he kick you? It looks like a kick,” she whispered and he winced, looking down to see the bloom of a redness, that he knew would turn purple soon, feeling, still stroking, dazed, seemingly unaware of the pain she was increasing. If he’d been kicked, it was after he lost consciousness, and maybe he had, because it felt like he maybe had one, or more, cracked or broken ribs. He’d felt that pain before, at Dean’s hands, though not for a while. “What did he do to you, my sweet boy?” Michelle’s voice cracked with tears, but Eggsy felt a strange coolness.   
“I don’t exactly know, mum. I was unconscious for some of it. It wasn’t just Dean, anyway.” Michelle gasped and her face went a strange shade, almost green. Eggsy knew she realised he’d been raped – she’d been cleaning him up after all – and he saw the cloth was stained with streaks of blood too, but he couldn’t feel sorry for making that information worse for her. She had to know it wasn’t the first time, she wasn’t that stupid, even if she was usually out of her tree.

Eggsy pushed himself up with difficulty, wincing throughout, half-heartedly covering himself.   
“I’m going for a shower.”  
“Wait, Eggsy,” she tried to stop him with a hand on his arm, right over a hand-shaped bruise on his bicep. “I didn’t know…” Nope. He wasn’t going to absolve her of this, not yet, and perhaps not ever.  
“What are you going to do?” He wasn’t trying to be harsh, but he didn’t soften his tone and she blinked rapidly.  
“I won’t let him touch you again, Eggsy, I promise.”  
“Okay,” he said softly, though he didn’t believe her. Her promises weren’t worth much to him anymore.

* * * * *

Eggsy crept out of his room. He could hear the television, loud, as usual, and hoped it was just his mum. Dean hadn’t come back the night before, at least by the time Eggsy finally fell into a restless sleep, loaded up on painkillers. When he came into the living room he saw that he must have been home at some point, as Michelle was on the sofa, watery eyes staring unseeing at the images; gone, again.  
“Mum,” he shook her shoulder, and she turned slowly, a weird smile gracing her once beautiful features, now quite wrecked by the ravages of the drugs, and of Dean’s influence.  
“Eggsy,” she slurred.  
“Where’s Daisy?”  
“Friend’s for sleepover,” she managed. That would have to do, and he limped out of the flat, relieved that Daisy was out of it even for a short while.

He’d ignored several messages from Merlin over the last couple of days, and tens from his friends. He sent a message to Jamal now.  
 _Eggsy: You around?  
Jamal: At Smiths_  
Jamal worked during the day at his uncle’s hardware store, while he tried to get his degree in Business from Open University  
 _Jamal: Where’ve you been?  
Eggsy: Usual. Can I stay at yours tonight? Things went bad.  
Jamal: Tell me  
Eggsy: Later, promise  
Jamal: I gotta do Soho tonight  
Eggsy: I’ll come. Not working. Hurt. But I can be with you and Ryan  
Jamal: Fuck, Eggsy. Ok_

Eggsy got the tube with Jamal and Ryan, trying not to make it too obvious how much pain he was still in. It was Saturday night, so busy, and he didn’t tell them what happened, not fancying an audience, and luckily it didn’t look strange when he quickly gave up his seat so a group of giggling girls dressed for a night out could sit together. 

As they walked toward their usual spot, Eggsy heard the last thing he wanted to hear.  
“Oi, Muggsy,” it was Poodle, his sneering tone cutting through Eggsy. “Dean’ll be pleased ya’ve come out ta work.”  
“I haven’t. You made fucking well sure of that, dint ya?”  
“Aw, what do ya mean, Muggsy, we just showed yer slag arse a good time,” Rottie smirked, making the other dogs chuckle and slap him on the back.  
“Yeah? I can well imagine the only time yer getting yer dick wet is when the other person is unconscious. No one else would let ya touch them.”  
“Watch yer mouth Muggsy,” Rottie growled, insulted, just like the raging wanker _would_ be at any perceived slight.  
“Well _you’ve_ been watching it, ant ya? Love getting sucked off by a feller, like the big gay boy y’are.” Eggsy knew it was a mistake. Rottie wasn’t someone to wind up, always a hair’s breadth away from going psycho, almost as bad as Dean.

Rottie growled again – he really earned the title of right-hand dog to Dean – stepping forward. The only thing Eggsy could think of was getting him away from Jamal and Ryan, who had frozen with horrified looks, putting the situation together. The dogs had never tried anything with them, but Eggsy knew it was only because they’d always been distracted by him, and he was determined to keep it that way. He set off, slower than usual, but still speedy, ignoring the pain, which was everywhere – his back, ribs, hips, arse, even his arms and legs which were covered in bruises. Fuck, even his throat was still killing, and he suspected they’d used that too, while he was out. 

Eggsy knew he could outrun Poodle, the fat fuck, and probably Mastiff too, who was all vanity muscles so had zero stamina, regardless of his injuries. But he couldn’t outrun Rottie or Whippet, not today. It didn’t stop him trying though. He covered the first mile, hearing the pounding of the flat-footed fuckers never far behind. Poodle and Mastiff broke off soon after, ignoring Rottie’s furious attempts for them to keep moving. Eggsy moved down back streets and short alleyways, trying to lose them, knowing that they were out of their comfort zone here in the posher part of London just as much as he was. But they were never far enough behind him to miss his turns, and there was no way he could take the chase above ground with his ribs stabbing into him so hard. 

The pain was making it hard to breath, and he could sense them closing the gap, when he turned a corner and recognised the brightly lit street, busy and bustling on this Saturday night. He knew people weren’t enough to stop the dogs – they’d just drag him down an alley, but maybe the right people would stop them. Rottie almost caught him at one point, grasping hand barely missing his shirt, but Eggsy put on a final burst of speed, bursting through the door of The Kingsman and dropping to his knees, gasping agonising breaths, hanging his head as Rottie caught him, finally, big hand on the back of Eggsy’s neck, squeezing roughly. 

“Bors!” The relief Eggsy felt when Percy’s highbrow tones called for someone was one of the best feelings ever, increased when he felt Rottie being pulled away from him, and fully enveloping him as he fell into lean, strong muscles and got a whiff of that fresh, citrusy scent that made him feel like he’d arrived home, as he let unconsciousness take him.

* * * * *

Merlin looked down at Eggsy, laying on Bors’ bed in the flat above the pub. The large man – consisting of well-used muscles and a great deal of height – had dragged the two men chasing Eggsy outside the pub and dispatched them with extreme prejudice, sending them limping off with ineffectual threats spouting from their battered mouths.

“He gonna be okay?” Bors’ gruff voice cut through Merlin’s thoughts, which had been focused on how to convince Eggsy to see sense.   
“He seems to be sleeping. I think he’s injured though.”  
“You checked?”  
“Don’t want to invade his privacy.”   
Bors snorted. “Not like you to be so sensitive, Sir. The boy passed out. That seems like good enough reason to invade.” Merlin had known Bors for a very long time. Along with Harry, the three of them had been part of the same SAS regiment, naturally becoming close as three gay men in a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ environment, as it had been then, and when Bors had retired and been looking for somewhere to settle, Percy had happily offered the flat to one of his husband’s closest friends at a greatly reduced rate, for the returned favour of a weekend bouncer for the pub. 

Merlin could already see Eggsy’s face bore bruising along the cheekbone, and warily lifted his t-shirt, gasping when he saw the spread of deep purple, which covered his abdomen and ribs.  
“Fuck, Sir,” Bors had never quite shaken the ingrained respect of the forces, and his commanding officer. “Volume of that…that’s internal bleeding. You have to get him to the hospital.”

* * * * *

They’d given Eggsy something to keep him under, and they’d kicked Merlin out of the room while they’d examined him. They hadn’t told him anything, but they also had allowed him to come back in afterward, so he was thankful for the aura of danger he had always known he carried, that made people give in without a fight. 

It was early on Sunday, weak morning light filtering through a high window, when Eggsy came to.   
“Merlin?” his voice was rough and scratchy. “Why are you here? Where am I?” Merlin figured Eggsy was buying time – this was pretty obviously a hospital room, even if Harry had worked his magic of contacts and secured Eggsy a private room.   
“You were running from two men and came into The Kingsman. It was obvious you were badly hurt so I brought you to hospital. Did they do this to ye?”  
“No.” Eggsy averted his eyes, and Merlin knew just what that meant.  
“It was your step-father.” His tone was cold, anger swelling once again at how this excuse for a man treated Eggsy.  
“’m sorry,” Eggsy whispered, tears welling. Merlin wanted to encase him, protect him, make sure he knew it wasn’t his fault, even if he knew Eggsy wouldn’t believe him, not yet, but he was interrupted by a doctor entering, filling the space with the confidence common to the profession.   
“Good morning, young man. I’m going to need some information now you’re awake. Your… friend couldn’t tell us much.” Merlin refused to blush, but he felt the judgement.

Eggsy told Dr Thomas his details. Gary Unwin, no wonder the boy chose to go by a nickname, but then Merlin couldn’t talk. Twenty-two, Merlin had known that, but not that his next birthday was in four months. He’d known the location of his home, but not the precise address. It felt strange to know so little, but it wasn’t important, not really. But then, he didn’t know the important things either. Had no idea what brought Eggsy joy, though he had a feeling his sister was one of those things, but he wanted to find out. 

“Mr Unwin, we performed a full body examination as you weren’t conscious to tell us where the pain was. I suspect you know what we found. I’d like to speak to you alone, if I may.”  
“No. Merlin can stay. If- if he wants to.”  
“I’m here for ye, _mo ghille_.”  
“Okay. You had some severe internal bleeding, which we were able to bring under control with a transfusion and vitamin K injections. You have two broken ribs and two more cracked, which will require rest and minimal movement. I was told you were running just before you were brought to us and, frankly, you’re fortunate the damage wasn’t far greater. As for the internal abrasions and tearing, which were severe, we’ve applied antiseptic cream, and you’re going to need to avoid sexual interaction for at least two weeks, possibly longer, while they heal.” His gaze turned hard, and he glanced toward a horrified-looking Merlin before returning a softer look on Eggsy. “Is there anything you want to tell me about those injuries, or any of the others? We can have a specialist police officer-,”  
“No! Sorry, no, thank you. It wasn’t him,” Eggsy nodded toward Merlin. “It’s fine.”  
“Well, I don’t think that’s quite true. But I can’t force you. I need to say- there were signs of object penetration, and several tears in the muscles, which are indicative that not enough care was taken, or that it was non-consensual. Now, I don’t know if this was voluntary-,” Eggsy head hung, making the answer to that clear and Merlin only barely stopped the growl of fury. “Well, if it wasn’t then you don’t need me to tell you that great care needs to be taken when experimenting, but I will reiterate my suggestion that the police become involved.”  
“There’s no point. But thank you doctor, I’ll be okay.”  
“If you insist. I’ll leave you to it.” He went out, but not before throwing another glare at Merlin.

“I’m sorry, Merlin.”  
“Dinnae say that _balach milis_. The man knows it wasnae me. I suspect he’s mad because he thinks I should have protected ye, and he’s right.”  
“Ya couldn’t have.” Eggsy pressed his head back against the pillow, and Merlin’s heart broke at how deeply weary he looked.   
“Ye’re not going back there.”  
“What? I hafta, Merlin. I’ve nowhere else- and Daisy… I was gonna spend a coupla days at Jamal’s, but then I have to go back.”  
“You’ll stay with me.” Merlin caught Eggsy’s confused look and became stern. “You will stay with me until you’re properly healed, and I won’t hear any more about it.”  
“Okay, Merlin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not completely mean, kept going so you could see the comfort. Maybe, just maybe it's enough for Eggsy to realise he has to be a little selfish here


	7. Shopping Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin's enjoying his Sugar Daddy role, but is that all there is to it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some nice fluff to counter balance the angst

“So, you have your delicious boy to yourself for two whole weeks? You must be having the time of your life.” Harry’s chuckle made Merlin want to smack him.  
“The boy is very much out of action, Harry, so I’d thank you to keep your sordid musings to yourself.”

Eggsy had agreed to stay at Merlin’s for the two weeks the doctor had said it would take him to heal. Merlin had pointed out that it was going to take at least six weeks for his ribs, but Eggsy had been non-committal on that, and suggested Merlin would be sick of the sight of him well before that point. It wasn’t anywhere near the truth. Just the four days they’d had together had come close to being the best time of his life, and that was even allowing for the fact that Eggsy was impossibly timid and they were tiptoeing around each other – so Merlin, always pragmatic, knew he had it bad. He didn’t need Harry, that little shit, exacerbating it. 

Eggsy came gingerly downstairs now, wearing a pair of soft trackpants belonging to Merlin, the ludicrous length rolled up at the ankle, and a white vest which wasn’t actually massive on him, due to his perfectly broad shoulders and muscular chest. Merlin wanted to smack Harry, again, when that man made an ‘aww’ face at how adorable Eggsy looked in the pants – though he wasn’t wrong.  
“Hi Harry,” Eggsy’s smile was still weak, but returning. The bruises on his arms were already almost faded, though Merlin knew that the ones across his torso would remain violet for quite some time.  
“Hello, dear boy. You’re looking a lot better. I hope Merlin is looking after you properly.”  
“Oh, he is, Harry. He’s aces, really. ‘cept he won’t let me do anything.” The pout made him look even more adorable, and it was only knowing how much pain he was still hiding that stopped Merlin from swooping to take Eggsy into his arms.  
“Well, _mo milis_ , I think we should go out today. Ye need some clothes.”  
“I can’t let ya buy me clothes, Merlin.”  
“Ye can, and ye will. Dinnae argue with me, young man.”  
“Sorry, dad,” Eggsy said sarcastically, and then flushed red when he realised, while Harry just snorted.   
“I think he prefers Daddy, darling, but I’m sure he’ll take anything he can get.”  
“I’m sure ye have somewhere to be, Harry. Begone.”  
“Fine, fine. No need to hex me. I’ll let you know when I’ve spoken to Roxy, and you let me know any further information.”

Merlin shooed Harry out of the door like the pest he was and returned to Eggsy, perched uncomfortably on a stool in the kitchen, sitting clearly still painful.   
“Who’s Roxy?” Eggsy blushed. “Sorry, ya can tell me it’s none of my business-,”  
“Not at all _Milis_ , she’s Percy’s niece. I’ve known her for years, since she was an obnoxious pre-teen, and we often meet up, as she lives in the city.” Merlin really hoped Eggsy would leave it at that. “How about you get your trainers on and we’ll go shopping.” That distracted him enough, and Merlin licked his lips when Eggsy returned downstairs, still with the huge trackpants, and now with one of Merlin’s knitted jumpers too, the sleeves pulled over into sweater paws. He looked vaguely ridiculous, but very, very cute.  
“Fuck, I hope I don’t see anyone I know looking like this.”  
“Eggsy, my sweet, if I thought for a moment I could have ye looking like that in my oversized clothes all the time, I’d be insisting on it.” Merlin wasn’t sure if he was overstepping – their interactions hadn’t been sexual at all since Eggsy had come from the hospital, but the delicate flush and slight flutter in his excessively thick lashes suggested otherwise.

Merlin took Eggsy to Westminster via the Picadilly line – because, even though he wasn’t complaining, Merlin knew either walking that far or travelling in a bouncing cab would be painful. They headed to Jermyn Street, which Merlin thought would have some excellent choices for someone of Eggsy’s physique, even if Harry would be most put out he hadn’t been allowed to help.  
“Er, Merlin, it’s a bit posh down here. Why don’t we just head to Primark or sommat? I can’t really cover these prices.”  
“You don’t have to Eggsy. I told you – I’m paying. And don’t argue.”   
Eggsy paused in front of a bespoke tailor shop. “But when would I even wear something from a shop like this?”  
“Eggsy, did you graduate from school?”   
Eggsy’s eyes went wide. “Yeah guv, course I did. Did pretty well too. Was hoping for Sandhurst back then, or maybe Lympstone if I could have got into the Marines. Worked my arse off, I did.”  
“I know things are up in the air right now. But I’m hoping you’ll consider entering some kind of profession. Ye’ve brains _mo milis_ , and I might be able to help ye. I’ve a few contacts, and Harry has more.”  
“Y’act like it’s easy ta just shake off the estate. But it int, yeah? I’m rough as fuck, Merlin. Listen to me.”  
“A minor thing. _That_ won’t be what holds ye back. But I’m not pressuring ye. In your own time.”  
“Okay,” Eggsy grumbled, still not happy about the pressure; Merlin wanted to settle him so decided on distraction.  
“Anyway, how about we get ye some good leather boots. They’ll last ye years.”

They’d paused in front of a bootmaker’s. Eggsy stared at the display, attractively presenting multiple gentleman’s shoes and boots. With no price tags visible.  
“Fuck, Merlin, no way. They’ll be well pricey.”  
“Will it make ye feel better if I tell ye I can definitely afford a few good quality items of clothing for ye? Ye won’t leave me destitute.”  
“I know yer rich, Merlin, but y’aint even getting anything in return right now. It aint like how ya were paying me before…”  
“Eggsy, I won’t pretend I’m not hoping for something more once ye’re mended, but _this_ isn’t about me wanting more. I can help ye, and I want to.”  
“But it feels like yer me sugar daddy.”  
“Is it so awful that I don’t hate the notion, _mo milis_?”  
“What do ya even do? For a job.”  
“I own the bookshop next to Percy’s pub.”  
“I thought that James feller owned that place?”  
“He did. When he died, I inherited it. Along with the insurance.”  
“Sorry Merlin. I shouldn’ta asked.”  
“It’s okay, Eggsy. He was my husband.”  
“I’m sorry.”   
“Me too, _mo milis_ , me too.”

They bought Eggsy a pair of smart leather brogue boots, in a rich chocolatey brown, and Merlin didn’t let him see the price. He insisted on some smart black trousers, made of a super soft twill, and managed to not mention at all how impossibly delectable they made Eggsy’s arse look, as well as several neat slim-fit shirts that framed his broad chest perfectly. Merlin was still horrified by the state of Eggsy, but he didn’t hate the fact that it meant he could legitimately help Eggsy in and out of the shirts when he was trying them on.  
“Fuck, I hate this. I feel like a kid being dressed,” Eggsy complained as Merlin was carefully pulling his jumper back over Eggsy’s head.  
“I’ll bear in mind that isn’t part of your kink, when ye’re back to full fitness,” Merlin chuckled while Eggsy blushed. “Anyway, I’m guessing ye’re sore now. I think we can get ye some jeans and t-shirts without ye having to try them on, and maybe some trackpants that don’t threaten to drown ye.”

Merlin held three pairs of jeans in various styles, as well as half a dozen t-shirts, as he flicked through a stand of cotton cardigans, as they stood in the somehow both trendy and classy store.  
“Sir, let me take these for you,” the assistant bustled over to, well, assist.  
“We ain’t buying them all,” Eggsy insisted.  
“Yes, we are. Thank you, young man.”  
“Merlin,” Eggsy whispered, but Merlin could see the assistant’s ears twitching at the prospect of gossip, “I saw the prices on them, yer not buying them all. This place is just a posh Gap, we can just go there.”  
“This is not a ‘posh Gap’, Eggsy,” Merlin tried to hide a grin at the outraged look on the assistant’s face. “The clothes are good quality, and will last ye years. Now, stop arguing, let’s get ye some underwear and socks, and then we can get lunch.”  
“Yes, Daddy,” Eggsy blushed even saying it, even as he fluttered his eyelashes, but Merlin felt his own, very physical, reaction, “though really, we could not bother with boxers. I don’t mind going commando for you.”  
“Oh, _mo milis_ , I like the thought of that very much, but I also like the sight of ye in those cute little boxers, the way they frame your very pretty package and your gorgeous arse. So how about we do both?”  
Eggsy gulped and bit his lip, “Okay, Daddy,” and Merlin thought the assistant was about to pass out, though whether in joy or horror was unclear.

When they got home after a sandwich eaten walking around St James’ Park, Eggsy was exhausted and in pain, so lay on the bed. Merlin easily made space in his oversized walk-in robe to hang the t-shirts, and shirts, and sweaters, and cardigans, and jeans, and trousers. The trackpants and underwear went in a drawer. The boots and a pair of Adidas Superstars went in the bottom of the robe. Eggsy had spent some time eying up a truly hideous pair of trainers with actual fucking _wings_ on them, but Merlin was grateful when he’d seemed almost as excited about the far more reasonable pair.   
“Lay down with me, Merlin.” Merlin climbed on the bed, careful not to jostle Eggsy. “What is this?”  
“What’s what?”  
“This thing we’re doing.”  
Merlin wasn’t sure how to answer, choosing to deflect. “Have ye spoken to your mother?”  
“Messaged her a few times. She says she’s fine, but I don’t believe her. I really should be back there, but-,” Eggsy snuffled.  
“What is it?”  
“I’m fucking scared, ain’t I? Fuck, sure I fought, but it’s not like I actually stopped any of it, or even hurt any of them. But that didn’t stop them from beating me when I was already unconscious, and the other stuff they did when I was out.” Merlin didn’t know what that was – they hadn’t spoken of the specifics – he didn’t know if he wanted to know, but maybe it was what Eggsy needed to realise he couldn’t go back.  
“What did they do _Milis_?”  
“That Charlie, the dealer, put his fist inside me. Fuck, it hurt. And then he pushed a bottle, ya know, inside. Then he fucked me. I lost consciousness then. Christ, it felt like me insides were getting ripped out. But I’m pretty sure Dean and his dogs had a go too, because there was a fuck of a lot of cum on me when I woke up the next morning, and my throat was wrecked so maybe they used that, except it could have been from the screaming, I guess. And then they must have kicked and hit me a few times too; the ribs, yeah?”

Merlin was actually shaking, though he tried to hide it. Eggsy didn’t need to know just how angry he was. It made his mind up though. One way or another, Eggsy was not going back to that flat. 

* * * * * 

It had been twelve days now, and Eggsy was going stir crazy inside the house. Something subtle had changed in their relationship since the shopping trip the week before. Eggsy was feeling more relaxed – he enjoyed teasing Merlin, and the sight of that handsome, tanned face bursting into laughter at something Eggsy had prompted made his insides wriggle beautifully. They were settling into a routine, casually taking it in turns to cook, and spending their evenings curled up, snuggling, on the sofa, watching old movies or the news, and talking.

Merlin went out almost every day, if only for a few hours, to see to the bookstore, and Eggsy felt as though he’d watched every single TV show Netflix had to offer, as well as reading almost all the action and mystery books Merlin had on his shelves.  
“Merlin, let me come to the store with ya, please.”  
“Are ye still in pain?”  
“Of course I am. But it’s a lot better than it was. Pleeeease, Daddy.” Eggsy knew he got Merlin every time with that, especially when he added an up and under look.  
“Ye’re a brat _Milis_.”  
“But ya love it.”   
Merlin’s eyes flashed, gold in the hazel. “I do, Brat. Okay ye can come.”  
“Hey! I don’t like that nickname as much as ‘Sweet’.”  
“Well, don’t be a brat then,” but Merlin kissed the top of his head.

When Eggsy came downstairs he was wearing his smart black trousers, and a light pink shirt with a finely knitted charcoal-grey cardigan, and his brown boots. He felt good – never having dressed up so much before, and Merlin’s lust-filled eyes made him feel even better.  
“Got the doctor in two days, Daddy. I think he’ll say I’m all healed – everything feels okay now. Hope you’ll play with me then.”  
“Fuck, _Milis_ , we’re about to leave the house, ye cannae do that to me. Besides, there’s still your ribs.”  
“I know you’ll be gentle with me,” Eggsy reached forward to squeeze Merlin’s fingers. Merlin’s face was a momentary picture of shock before he looked into Eggsy’s eyes and leaned to drop a brief kiss on his lips.  
“I will, _Milis_.”

Eggsy felt good as they walked the short distance to the shop. His ribs didn’t hurt when he breathed anymore, only when he moved too sharply. The bruising had turned into green and yellow blooms, which looked horrible, but weren’t nearly as tender, and all his other bruises had faded. He’d always been a quick healer. And his arse was fine now, and leaving him perpetually horny and more than a little frustrated. He’d been trying to get Merlin to do something for a couple of days, but that man was staying strong, even when Eggsy went all out with the whimpering and calling him Daddy. It was _very_ obvious that he liked it, but he still refused to make a move. Eggsy was determined that the doctor was going to give the all clear, and then he’d step up his temptation. 

“Hello, Merlin!” There was a bright, perky little posh kid in Merlin’s bookstore, and Eggsy scowled.  
“Morning, Tristan. Did the order arrive yet?”  
“No, Sir. But they called and it should be here in an hour. I might take my break now you’re here. Can I get you anything from the café?”  
“I’m fine, thank you Tristan.” Eggsy couldn’t help himself from wrinkling his nose up and mouthing along mockingly, but he stopped when he realised Merlin was looking down at him with a wry expression. “Tristan, I’d like you to meet Eggsy.”  
“Hello, Eggsy. That’s a strange name.” Tristan’s voice was pleasant enough, but Eggsy could recognise the jealousy – he was feeling it himself, after all.   
“Nickname. It’s nice to meet you Tristan.”  
“How do you know Merlin?”   
Eggsy flushed, no idea how to address that, mouth opening and closing a few times before Merlin saved him in a totally unexpected way.  
“Eggsy’s my boyfriend, Tristan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh, well, that came out of leftfield (for Eggsy, not for us)


	8. All Clear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At least there's some areas of his life Eggsy can get the all clear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awks - visits to the doctor making us blush

It was a toss up between who looked more shocked out of the two of them, but Eggsy’s surprise was quickly replaced with warmth and he smiled up at Merlin. When Tristan had got over the bombshell and left through the tinkling shop door, Merlin turned to Eggsy.  
“I’m sorry, Eggsy. Was that too much?”  
“Depends. Did ya only say it ‘cause yer ashamed how ya met me?”  
“No. I know this is fast, and we haven’t even discussed what our relationship entails, but I know I want ye in my life, properly. I want to look after ye, Eggsy, but I want us to be a pair, too. Can what I said be the truth?”

Eggsy felt like he was about to start hyperventilating. He knew Merlin was attracted to him, but he’d thought that there wasn’t a chance for anything more. Merlin was smart, and funny, and- and fucking _normal_. But he wanted it, so much.  
“Are ya just trying to get out of paying me?” It probably wasn’t the right time for a joke, but he had to recalibrate somehow.  
“No, ye wee brat.” But he chuckled and hugged Eggsy to his side, dropping a soft kiss on his forehead.  
“Well…yeah. It can be the truth.” Eggsy knew it wasn’t as easy as that. He still had Daisy and his mum to worry about, and what would happen when he went home, and Soho, and Jamal and Ryan, and just so many complications. But for now, the agreement would have to do, and when Merlin bent his head and claimed Eggsy’s mouth in a kiss so tender, and so perfect, that Eggsy felt as though he were floating in heaven, it felt like enough. 

* * * * *

Dr Thomas flicked through Eggsy’s notes before glancing up to where he was perched on the edge of the high examination bench, clad in the papery open-backed gown that was usual for such events.  
“I need to give you a full physical, Eggsy. Do you want to be alone?”  
“Can Merlin stay please?”  
“If you like. Please sit there.” The doctor pointed to a squeaky pleather chair close to his desk and Merlin sat, crossing one long leg over the other. He would have preferred to be close to Eggsy but he wasn’t going to step on the doctor’s toes – the man had a job to do. 

“Eggsy, stand and pull your arms from the gown.” It was tied at his waist, so didn’t fall down all the way, only far enough to reveal Eggsy’s torso, covered in sickly yellowish-brown, but more than attractive enough, even with that, for Merlin to have an intense desire to stroke, and lick, and kiss. The doctor had Eggsy raise his arms and twist, and then turn, so that, as well as Eggsy’s gorgeous well-toned back, Merlin could also see his perfect, rounded arse through the gap in the gown, and he casually pressed against the hardness forming in his jeans, trying to get it to behave, but there was something so- so _decadent_ about seeing his boy like this, with the doctor doing nothing but be entirely professional, but still revealing those little aspects, like the way the curved dimples in Eggsy’s lower back shifted as his body moved, that had Merlin almost panting. And Merlin knew it was going to get a lot worse.

“Okay, Eggsy, I’m happy with the way your ribs are healing. The x-rays we took this morning showed they’re beginning to fuse nicely, and the cracked ribs are already almost fully healed. You have a very fast healing rate.”  
“Always have, doc.”  
“And your movement is coming back nicely too. You are going to have to continue to take it very easy for a few more weeks, and I will want to see you if you get any sharp pains that don’t dissipate quickly, but as it stands you can do some gentle stretching exercises starting at the end of next week, but don’t over extend.” He glanced over his shoulder at Merlin with what could only be described as a pointed expression, and Merlin just nodded once, seriously, to show he understood. Though he had no idea how he would prevent Eggsy from pushing himself – the boy was going stir crazy, and had already groaned at the doctor’s caveats.

“Now I need to give you an internal examination to check on those other injuries and give you the all clear on them. I hope you’ll be pleased to hear that the first stage of the blood and swab testing we did came back all clear.”  
“So no STDs?” Eggsy asked quietly.  
“It’s looking good. You’ll have to have one final blood test in two and a half months – just get that done at the GUM walk in clinic. That one’s the final HIV test – you’re clear on everything else.”  
“Thanks.”  
“Not a problem. Now lay back on the table and pop your legs in the stirrups, and I’ll just do the final internal exam.”  
Eggsy blushed brightly. “Do ya have to?”  
“It’s as well to be sure all of the lacerations have healed cleanly. I have a feeling you, ahem, want to get back to normal.” Now the doctor was almost as bright red as Eggsy and Merlin had to stifle a chuckle. “It might be a little uncomfortable, but it will be over quickly.”

Merlin watched as Eggsy lay back, the gown still bunched around his waist. Like that, Merlin had a flashback to their first night together, as Eggsy whimpered at the attention Merlin had paid to his nipples, the look on his face as he’d released with Merlin’s hand wrapped tightly around his throbbing cock. Now Merlin had joined the other two with the blushing features, and he shifted, making the chair squeak obnoxiously. Eggsy looked over, a small smile gracing his features, as if he knew what Merlin had been thinking.

The doctor snapped on a nitrile glove and squeezed a glob of lube on his finger, smearing it over Eggsy’s tightly furled hole, which was utterly exposed by his legs being spread in the stirrups. Merlin could see Eggsy taking deep breaths, his eyes closed, and hoped he wasn’t feeling any trauma, even as the sight was incredibly erotic.  
“Just relax Eggsy, you’ll feel my finger penetrate you and feel along your walls. It will only be a moment.” The doctor pushed smoothly forward and Eggsy’s brow furrowed until he let out a yelp. “Don’t worry, I’m just checking your prostate there.”  
“It’s okay doc, I’m a gay man, I know what my prostate feels like.” Eggsy’s voice was a squeak and the doctor chuckled, before carefully withdrawing his finger and wiping it on a cloth.  
“It feels okay, but I just want to take a closer look to be sure all of the abrasions are healed.” The doctor waved a silver-coloured speculum, before coating it in the cold lube.  
“Uh, doc, do you have to? It might be uncomfortable, you know, because of what…” Eggsy petered out and the doctor patted his shin.  
“Eggsy, I’m not going to force a procedure on you, but it would certainly be my recommendation that you let me check you out properly, as this will allow me to see more clearly.”  
“Okay. I trust ya.”

Dr Thomas pressed the closed speculum against Eggsy and Merlin bit his lip as he watched it push inside smoothly, Eggsy looking so decadent splayed out that way. Merlin would love to see Eggsy spread in all sorts of ways, bound and stretched and panting, though the doctor certainly wouldn’t be present if he got those fantasies to come to life. He was okay with this so far, and Eggsy seemed to be too, but Merlin knew the telling moment would be when the doctor twisted the speculum open.  
“Right, Eggsy, try to breathe through this. It won’t be comfortable, but it won’t be painful as long as you stay calm, so deep breaths for me.” Eggsy began taking long, deep breaths, but, as the doctor clicked open the device, Merlin could see him struggle, caught the panicked flutter in his eyes, heard the tiny whimper of distress. He covered the room, crouching next to Eggsy, taking his shaking hand.  
“It’s okay, _mo milis_ , I have ye.” He stroked Eggsy’s cheek with the other hand, crooning at his distraught boy, calming them both with the reminder this wasn’t what Eggsy had suffered before. Merlin could see the doctor shining a light, knowing it would be over soon, and distracted Eggsy further with a warm kiss, no tongue, merely showing him he was safe. 

“All done,” the doctor sat back on the wheeled stool. “You did great, Eggsy, and I’m pleased to tell you everything has healed fully. I know you wouldn’t report what happened, but you might want to consider counselling, and I can refer you if you like.”  
“Thanks, doc, I’ll think about it.” And when the doctor’s back was turned to sort out some paperwork, he turned to Merlin and whispered, “Just need my Daddy for now.”

* * * * *

When they got to the house, Eggsy wasn’t exactly exuberant – his ribs wouldn’t have that – but Merlin was in no doubt about what he wanted. The fact that he crawled up Merlin’s body the moment he sat down to watch the news, straddling his hips with a slight wince, was a giveaway.  
“ _Mo ghille_ , ye have to take it easy.”  
“I’ve been taking it easy for two weeks, Daddy, and I’m bored of it. Let me do something for ya.”  
“Like what, _Milis_?”  
“I’ll suck ya if you’ll let me.”  
“I’ll let ye, but maybe later.” Eggsy pouted, climbing back off and curling into the corner of the sofa. “Ye have to understand, Eggsy, I don’t want to cause ye any pain, so I’m a bit unsure how to go about the whole thing, but ye keep sulking and I’ll start with spanking that sexy arse as soon as yer ribs are properly healed.”  
“Wouldn’t be much of a punishment, I’d like it too much.”  
“Not a problem if ye do,” God, Merlin was rock hard just at the thought, having to remind himself that it would be a long while before he could play properly with his boy. “Ye know though?”  
“Nah, never bin spanked. Bin hit, plenty. That’s not hot. But kinda like the thought of ya making my arse bright pink. Specially ‘cause I bet yer a stroker too. Bet ya like the feeling of it being all smooth and warm.” Eggsy yelped as Merlin’s long body flipped so he was poised, holding himself up with strong arms, his face inches away.

“Daddy? What ya doing?”  
“Going to fucking devour ye, _mo milis_ , going to suck ye fucking dry.” Merlin slid down until he was on his knees between Eggsy’s legs, making short work of releasing his thick cock.  
“Wait, Daddy, ya can’t. Condom.” Merlin felt it in his chest. Eggsy had received the all-clear, but he still wanted to use protection, even for this. Obviously, Merlin had no intention of going bareback, not yet, anyway, but he’d have to drink a gallon of cum to even have a small risk of HIV, it was a considered risk that _he_ was willing to take, but Eggsy clearly wasn’t.  
“Okay Sweet, I’ll stroke ye instead.” He was trying not to sound like a whiny toddler, honestly, but he didn’t think he was being entirely successful, especially when Eggsy gave him a surprisingly knowing look.  
“I know it ain’t a big risk, if I have nothing else. But it’s a risk I ain’t willing to take with your health, Merlin. When’s the last time ya got tested yerself?”  
“A year ago. And not had any interactions since then until you.”

“Why’d ya not? Yer a hot guy. Like, seriously, sex on legs. Surely ya got cute little twinks flinging themselves at ya? What about Tristan?” Merlin debated with himself on lying, claiming innocence, but Eggsy deserved more than that.  
“I think I could have, with Tristan. But I wasn’t interested in him that way. Not interested in anyone until ye walked into my life. I’ve been hung up on James this whole time, in an abstract way; feeling as though letting someone else in would have been a betrayal of him, of his memory.”  
“What happened?”  
“He was stabbed. Coming home from buying birthday presents for me. Some little shit mugged him, but wanted him to hand over the watch I bought him and he refused. Silly bloody idiot,” Merlin blocked back an unexpected tear at the memory of holding James in hospital as he choked on his own blood, the doctors having thought they’d stemmed all the bleeding in surgery, but they’d missed a nick that tore, and he’d bled out in minutes, fear in his green-hazel eyes, managing a garbled pronunciation of love before he went, a moment that Merlin was selfishly obsessed with, and clung to for so long afterwards. 

Eggsy didn’t say anything, just slid to the floor by Merlin’s side, pulling him close and nuzzling his nose into the crook of Merlin’s neck.  
“I’m so sorry, Merlin.” Merlin didn’t cry, maybe he couldn’t anymore, not properly – he’d cried all those tears a long time before – but he held Eggsy to him, carefully but firmly, feeling the very real sense of the boy against his body.  
“I’m okay, Sweet. I just- ye ken? It took me a long time to get over him, and maybe I still haven’t, not quite, because I didnae let myself. And then ye came along and tipped me upside down.”  
“I get it, Merlin, I really do. Come upstairs with me and we can have a sleep.”

Merlin let Eggsy take him by the hand and lead him to the bedroom. Eggsy stripped down to only his boxers and Merlin was pleased with how much easier he was moving and how quickly the bruises were fading. He stripped to underwear too, and they lay in bed, Eggsy the little spoon, until restful sleep took over them.

Merlin awoke to the sensation of a hot mouth wrapped around his cock and pleasure crawling down his spine.  
“Fuck Eggsy,” he moaned, throwing his head back onto the pillow. This wasn’t the perfunctory method Eggsy usually used – he was lapping and nibbling, twisting the strong muscle of his tongue around the length, flicking a pointed tip across the hole, and then against each ridge and vein. When he slid fully down, taking Merlin to the back of his mouth, and then deeper, massaging the head with the muscles of his throat, Merlin was gone, releasing with a low moan, feeling every muscle contract with the intensity of the desire. That’s what it took for Merlin to finally register that Eggsy had swallowed him down, no customary layer of rubber between them.

He pulled Eggsy up, searching his face for a reaction, a reason.  
“Why didn’t ye use a condom, _Milis_?”  
“Yer clean. Ya told me last night. I trust ya.”  
“Ye didnae have to do that, Eggsy. I dinnae expect it.”  
“I wanted to Daddy. Bin wanting to taste ya fer ages. And it were- was worth it. Was nicer than I expected. Didn’t taste all bitter and dirty. Liked it. Never had chance to like it before.”  
“Oh, Sweet,” Merlin gently pulled Eggsy against him, conscious of his pains but wanting to show him he was cared for. “I want ye to have all the chances to find the things ye like, perfect boy.” Eggsy slumped a little and Merlin held him tighter.  
“Kind of a thank you too. I gotta go back to the estate. I’ve been messaging my mum but she hasn’t replied in a couple of days. I’m worried about her.”  
“Please don’t, Eggsy. Ye’re not well enough to face Dean yet.”  
“Please Daddy, don’t. I don’t wanna fight with ya. Ya know why I can’t leave Daisy,” Eggsy voice cracked, on the edge of tears that he swallowed down with obvious difficulty. “I’ll understand if ya don’t want- if ya can’t continue what you said about me being your boyfriend. I know you don’t want a whore for a boyfriend. I get it.”  
“It isnae about that Eggsy. I’m worried for you. Worried what he’ll do. Did your mother say anything about him in her messages?”  
“No. Which is a really bad sign. She allus- always tries to make out things are okay when he’s real bad, so I think he’s mad an’ he’s taking it out on her. I’m scared about why she hasn’t responded.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...that doesn't bode well


	9. It's not home anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy has to go home and check on his mum and Daisy, doesn't he?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'll like this, I think. Eventually.

Merlin didn’t try to force Eggsy to stay. Eggsy was grateful, even as it also made him feel a sucking emptiness. He didn’t want to face Dean, had half hoped that Merlin would force cowardliness on him, remove the decision from his hands. 

He knew it was a futile desire until Eggsy didn’t feel as though he had to be there to protect Daisy and his mother. When that would be- if that would be… Eggsy daren’t even think of it. Whenever he really tried, his thoughts wouldn’t allow a future where he was free of Dean, and he had a horrible feeling that was because there was no future for him at all. Dean was more and more violent, more out of control. Eggsy could only see one way that he would be parted from Daisy and he felt that way was more likely than ever.

Perhaps he’d half hoped that Merlin would provide a solution. A real answer, not just Eggsy leaving his mum and sister. Merlin’s mouth had flopped a little, as if he’d been desperately seeking a solution that he couldn’t find. In the end he’d just begged Eggsy to come straight back once he’d checked on them, and Eggsy had promised, with a weak voice, that he would.

Merlin had given him money again, and he’d taken it without argument. Maybe he’d be able to distract Dean with the roll of notes for long enough to be sure his girls were alright, and then get back out. His ribs still ached, even as they healed, and he knew it wouldn’t take much to knock him down and keep him there. 

He was scared as he slowly climbed the concrete stairs to the flat, listening for noises. At this stage, with his mum radio silent for the last two days, he’d have been happy to even hear Dean screaming at her, or berating Daisy for being a little kid, but there was nothing. Even as he opened the door, the squeal of old hinges loud, inside there was nothing. 

He looked into the kitchen. There were dishes piled high in the sink, and dust motes dancing in the weak sunshine coming through the blind on the small window, but no signs of life. He glanced into the living room and nearly leapt out of his skin when he saw Dean, still, in the armchair facing the door, staring right at him with a coldness that suffused the room. Dean was all heat, and anger. This wasn’t right.  
“Dean?”  
“Where the fuck ya bin, Muggsy?”  
“Just with a friend.”  
“And ‘oo told ya that was okay?”  
“I had to. Ya hurt me real bad. I was in hospital.”  
“Fucking pansy. Dint hurt ya that bad. Yer a slag, Muggsy. Ya get fucked all the fuckin’ time.” 

Dean’s voice was getting louder, and Eggsy was almost grateful for the fire, ‘cause that initial coldness had been freaking him the fuck out.  
“Ya dint just fuck me though, did ya? Ya broke ribs. Messed my insides up real bad too. Cut me up.”  
“I’ll fuckin’ show ya cut up.” Dean didn’t move though, just glared with malevolence.  
“Where’s me mum? And Daisy?”  
“Ha! Fuckin’ some protector you are, Muggsy. Council came, dint they? Said yer mum were unfit. Took the brat away. She’ll be in some group home now, prob’ly with a bunch of pedos-,”  
“What? What do ya mean?”  
“Ya abandoned yer mum, dint ya? She got too high. Took a bunch of untested stuff that were in the flat. Had to call ‘er a fuckin’ ambulance. Stupid bitch must ‘ave been yammering about the brat. Old cunt next door told me after; I’d gone out, but council or ‘ooever came round, broke in the door, took the kid away.”  
“What? What the fuck, Dean? Ya just left her here on her own?”  
“I can’t be looking after some kid. I’ve got work to do. As ‘ave you, Muggsy.”

Dean stood up finally, moving closer. Eggsy took a step back, and another, his back hitting the hallway wall, but Dean didn’t stop, until he was pressed up against Eggsy, who shivered as Dean’s beefy hand grasped the back of his neck, squeezing a clear threat.  
“Dean, I’m hurt still- I can’t-,”  
“Bollocks ya can’t. Ya’ve got a lot of making up ta do round ‘ere. Ya lost me a lotta money, running off like that. Plus putting yer mum under all that stress. She weren’t doing ‘er job.”  
“No, Dean. I won’t have sex with ya. Or anything. Find yer fucking replacement someplace else.”  
“Why would I, Muggsy? When I’ve got a perfectly good mouth and hole right ‘ere?”

Dean’s grip tightened, and Eggsy tried to shift but it was no use. Dean pressed his body against Eggsy, who could feel the nauseating length of his arousal pressing against his stomach, making bile rise. He was mumbling, begging, for Dean not to, but Dean ignored it, reaching to unbutton Eggsy’s jeans. Eggsy panicked, the fear so much worse than it had ever been before, fear given free reign by the happiness he’d had only a short while before. The safety. The knowledge that Merlin would never, not in a million years, and not under any circumstances, treat him this way. He lashed out, kicking, a lucky strike to Dean’s kneecap. Eggsy turned, to escape through the door, but, despite his scream of pain, Dean grabbed him easily as he yanked the handle open, threw him away from it, against the wall.

That alone would have winded him, but he hit the hall table, that tacky semi-circle of dark wood, smashing it and the small ceramic bowl on top with the force Dean threw him. The pain radiated from his torso and he screamed with it, sinking down amongst the wreckage. Dean came down on top of him, pressing his meaty hand to Eggy’s throat, his whole body covering Eggsy’s, a knee between his thighs.  
“Don’t fight me, slag. Ya know I allus get what I want from ya. So desperate to be a fuckin’ good boy fer yer slag of a mother. So fuckin’ dumb. She doesn’t fuckin’ care about ya. No one fuckin’ does. Just fuckin’ behave.”  
“Not true,” Eggsy gasped out. He knew Daisy cared – literally nothing Dean could say could make him doubt that. And he was certain Merlin cared too. He’d done too much he didn’t have to for any other explanation. But even as he thought that, he could feel his vision blurring as the air was cut off.

Eggsy was panicking, trying to breath but feeling the way his lungs were desperate, not getting what they needed. There were black spots in his eyes and he could feel Dean’s arm pressing against his broken ribs, forcing sharpness into his middle, sensing Dean’s fingers tearing at his jeans. Eggsy tried to scream, but no sound could escape now. He didn’t want this, didn’t want to die here, as he knew he would, being raped by Dean as he pressed the life out of him. Clawing fingers closed around something hard. A leg from the table. Not solid or heavy. Cheap, snapped wood. But Eggsy had nothing else; just the repeated thought he didn’t want to die like this, and he brought it up, trying to smash in against Dean, not even making contact the first time. But the second time he felt resistance, and moments later, Dean’s grip relaxed, just enough for Eggsy to suck in one breath, two. 

His vision began to clear. He could do this. He could fight Dean. But he realised Dean wasn’t trying to fight him anymore, wasn’t moving in fact, and as Eggys looked along his body, he saw red covering his new white t-shirt. So much red, covering him, but starting- it was coming from Dean. Or more specifically, from the point in Dean’s neck where the broken off table leg was protruding. Eggsy managed to push Dean off him, every move causing sharp pains, managing to roll to the side, letting out an anguished whimper as he saw Dean’s staring eyes, heard the gurgle. What had he done?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh, Merlin, Merlin, Merlin, where were you when your boy needed you?


	10. The Thin Blue Line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin is going to have some explaining to do...but maybe there's bigger things to worry about at the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So TFW you have a job you super like, but it requires a *tonne* of at home work, and it takes you away from writing, which you also really like, and you wish there was much, much more time in a day... (and also maybe TFW you think, damn, I have like twenty three partially written stories, really should get on that)
> 
> Anyway, hope you like the update.

Merlin was pacing. He should never have let Eggsy go off alone. He should have gone with him, waited downstairs if necessary, been ready to whisk him away. Merlin had known, broadly, what Eggsy would find. He knew from his own upbringing the fear that Social Services put into people who didn’t have much. They’d never been for him – his own da had been far too controlled for that – but theirs had been one of only a few in the tenement that didn’t get a visit at some point or another. His hope was that the visit would scare Eggsy’s mother enough to get her to leave, to take the child somewhere safe. 

Harry’s contacts had established there was a sister – with a solid marriage and a decent job. Michelle and her sister were estranged, because the sister, Marylin, didn’t like Dean and didn’t approve of the drugs – but she was still family. Social Services had been given her name, and were to make a suggestion to Michelle. Merlin hadn’t met the woman, but Eggsy was smart, and bright, and resourceful. Merlin reasoned that he must have got that from someone, and it certainly wasn’t Dean Baker.

Nevertheless, he was ashamed at himself. He knew the real reason he’d let Eggsy go with merely a promise to return was he’d feared that if he’d have gone, and waited, Eggsy would have seen his culpability straight away. Merlin needed to hide what he’d done for a lot longer. It might be best – for Eggsy, and for Michelle and Daisy – but there was no doubt they wouldn’t see it straight away.

Not that Merlin wasn’t comfortable it was the right thing to do, even if it hadn’t been entirely about Eggsy. He need look no further than his own upbringing, and certainly Eggsy’s, to say no child deserved to be brought up in that environment, and he’d done what was necessary to make sure it was done right. Called in favours – so many favours paid out so his perfect boy wouldn’t need to suffer anymore. 

His phone went, and he leapt to it, hoping to see the picture of Eggsy laughing freely, joyously, on the screen. It wasn’t though, just the standard black screen – red button, green button, an unknown number.  
“Hello?”  
“Hello. Major Merlin?”  
“Speaking.”  
“It’s Gloria Wright, Social Services. The director asked me to call about the Unwin case. Said you were due an update. To let you know the child was taken and is in foster care-,”  
“What?! The child wasn’t meant to have been taken.” There was a shuffling, as the woman presumably checked her notes.  
“No, I see that. But the child is five, and was in the house alone.”  
“What do ye mean? Where was her mother? Her father?” More shuffling.  
“Father was out and could not be contacted. Neighbour reported an ambulance had taken the mother away two days prior, and that she hadn’t seen the father or the brother in that two days. Claimed she hadn’t been aware the child was inside. When we established the child was inside, she wouldn’t open the door, so police broke in and we took her-,”  
“Where?”  
“That’s classified, I’m afraid, even to you, Major. Although I can tell you it was fortunate that a family member was already a registered foster carer, and we were able to leave the child with her. But I can’t give you details.” That was Marylin. Harry’s contact had said she didn’t have any children of her own, but fostered. Well, at least Merlin would be able to tell Eggsy where she was. But that meant…  
“Where is Dean Baker?”  
“He wasn’t there, and didn’t return while we were there, so we left him and Ms Unwin correspondence to confirm a date for a fitness appointment, in two weeks.”

But Merlin doubted he’d still be ‘not there’, and he’d sent Eggsy off, assuming his mother would be able to at least act as some kind of buffer, that the money would also help, that Eggsy would just be grabbing a few things and leaving, or even helping his mum to pack before getting away. That was not the case, and there was no buffer. Merlin doubted even the money would help in this far escalated situation…

He was out of the door and running to the Mews where his bike was kept before he could even think of it any further, yanking his arm clumsily into his leather jacket and patting his pockets to check his bike keys were still there. 

He arrived at the estate in record time, undoubtedly caught cutting it fine on several red light cams and who-knows how many speed traps on the way. It was stupid but he’d pay all the fines and do all the driver training classes necessary. Fuck, he’d take a lost licence if it meant Eggsy was okay. He knew Eggsy’s address, but had no idea where it actually was. But that turned out to be a moot point, because the blue flashing lights acted as a beacon.

His heart fell into his stomach when he saw the ambulance – saw them loading a gurney into the back. He came to a skidding stop in front of a uniformed officer who was holding a hand up.   
“Sir, I must ask you to move along.”  
“Eggsy,” Merlin breathlessly uttered, feeling his vision dot and his head go light. The officer, justifiably, admittedly, looked at him as if he was mad, and Merlin was about to push past with extreme prejudice, when he felt a hand on his shaking arm.  
“It’s not Eggsy in the ambulance young man,” he looked down into watery blue eyes. “I called them. I was just going down to pick up me milk and some biscuits, ‘cause Dora’s coming over for a cuppa this afternoon, and the door at forty-two were open, weren’t it? Ooh, the blood! I couldn’t believe it. ‘e’s a good boy is Eggsy, allus helps me with ma shopping. Comes in and unblocks the sink when it blocks up, which it does, an’ the council does nuffink. Rip off merchants, the lot o’ them-,”

Merlin would have gladly throttled the old biddy, but he’d focused on her first words and settled for interrupting.  
“Ye said it’s not Eggsy. Where is he?”  
“Oh! ‘e’s there, love.” She pointed just as the ambulance moved away, to where Eggsy was perched on the tailgate of a rapid response ambulance, pale, clutching his ribs, being seen to by a green-overalled paramedic while another uniformed officer stood by his side with a notebook open.

Feeling suddenly very well-disposed to the old bat, Merlin patted her hand while removing it from his arm.  
“Thank ye for your help, ma’am.” And he was off, easily dodging the officer, who shouted after him, making everyone else look up.  
“Merlin!” The relief in Eggsy’s voice was palpable and Merlin carefully scooped him into his arms, kissing the top of his head while being careful not to squeeze his torso.  
“And who are you?” the officer asked, pen poised.  
“I’m his boyfriend. Eggsy, what happened?”  
“He tried again,” Eggsy whispered, so the officer couldn’t hear. “Merlin, they’ve taken Daisy. And me mum- my mum’s overdosed. She’s in hospital.”  
“They took her in the ambulance?”  
“No. That were Dean. I stabbed him, Merlin. He attacked me. The table- I dint mean to Merlin, swear down. I’m- I’m sorry. Ya must think-,”  
“ _Milis_ , don’t second guess what I think.” He turned to the officer. “What do ye want?”  
“A statement from the lad. We need to know why Mr Baker has a table leg sticking out of his neck.”  
“I aint grassing.” Merlin sighed, and the officer spoke again.  
“Well, I’d get ‘grassing’ young man, because as it currently stands, Mr Baker might not survive, and you might be looking at a murder charge.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have thought - would be good to get people's thoughts - I have plans for addressing a lot of loose ends, but am happy to hear suggestions too - keep the creative juices flowing


	11. Royal London

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy makes it to the hospital, but will he make it out again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of a short one - it's subtly guilt-riddled but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

“He needs to go to the hospital to get checked out.” The paramedic sounded bored but certain and the cop rolled his eyes. Eggsy got the feeling they knew each other of old.   
“Fine. I’ll meet you at Royal London.”  
“I’ll be there, too, Eggsy,” Merlin said, his hazel eyes soft. Eggsy could tell he was trying to make him feel better, but he knew he couldn’t read too much into it. When Merlin found out what he’d done… “Officer, is that where Dean Baker has been taken?”  
“Yeah. Listen, Baker is a victim as of now. But I used to- listen, I know him. If anyone deserves to be stabbed in the neck it’s him. He’s never once paid for the ways he’s destroyed so many people’s lives. I just see the results; in the streets, in the hospitals, in the morgue.” He turned to Eggsy. “Just do the right thing, kid. This is your chance.”

Eggsy was thinking of the officer’s words as the paramedic truck traversed the streets of London, heading to the Royal London. He hadn’t really known that other people, well, felt the same way as him about Dean, with the same kind of intensity. The policeman had introduced himself after his foreboding words, and Eggsy had recognised the name. A family from the estate, but more than that, a name shared with one of Dean’s dogs – one who had been shot during some bullshit turf war with another gang a couple of years back. Eggsy had remembered seeing the bloodstain – impossible to remove – on the floor of the pub, remembered Dean laughing about how his boys had taken down two of theirs, so he was the winner. _He_ might have been, but the lad – Eggsy knew him as Lab, remembered him as surprisingly soft-hearted (well, he’d never touched Eggsy _that way_ , though Eggsy was self-aware enough to realise that was a shitty benchmark) with huge brown eyes set in dusky skin – wasn’t winning anything anymore. 

It wasn’t like Eggsy didn’t know other people were affected by Dean, that it wasn’t just him, but that very specific reminder of the evidence was making him feel hot and cold and sick and dizzy. Was Lab’s death two years back Eggsy’s fault? The beatings probably wouldn’t have been enough, but if he’d gone to the police and told them what Dean was doing to him when he was fourteen surely he’d have been put away, and everyone knew what they did to nonces in prison. But he’d gone to school with a lass who’d been raped by some boy she’d been on a couple of dates with, and when she’d told the cops they’d treated her like shit, made out she was lying. It had been years ago, he’d only been in year eight then and she’d been a year or two older than him, but he’d never forgotten the way the kids at school had called her a slag, even the ones who actually believed her saying it was only because she’d led him on, and they’d made obscene gestures in the corridors, and how she’d gotten thinner and paler until one day she wasn’t there any more, and Ryan had whispered, with the excitement of juicy gossip without the infection of personal connection, that she’d topped herself; pills or a noose or a razorblade – the specifics were unknown and didn’t matter. But it added a new layer that Eggsy had never had before: you didn’t grass. Not just because of loyalty to your manor, but because it wouldn’t end well. 

The paramedic put a comforting arm around Eggsy’s shoulder as he guided him toward the reception desk. It didn’t help, as his already shaking legs seemed to want to turn to liquid beneath him, and he felt a burning flush travelling up his body. The last thing he saw, before darkness took him, was Merlin’s hazel eyes, sharp in panic, appear above desperately seeking arms.

* * * * * 

Merlin paced. And then he paced some more. His face stony, his Adam’s apple bobbing in confliction.  
“Merlin, sweetheart, come and sit.”  
“Thank ye, Percy, but I’ll stay standing.” He glanced quickly at his friend’s crestfallen face. “I appreciate ye being here. Both of ye.” Harry stood, patting his arm.  
“I’ll pop out and get coffee. We can’t be drinking the liquid shit they serve up here.”

“He’s going to be okay, Merlin.”  
“Don’t see how ye can claim that Percy, though I know ye mean well.”  
“He’s a fighter, he’ll fight through this just like everything else.”  
“Are ye suggesting James wasn’t a fighter?”  
“What?! No, shit, Merlin, that wasn’t even part of what I was suggesting.”  
“I’m sorry Percy. I know ye didn’t mean anything by it. But being here – again. It fucking hurts. I hadn’t set foot in a hospital until the last time Eggsy was here, and now I’m again waiting outside an operating theatre with no idea just how bad it might be. He was just _talking_. He was fine. But James was fine too.”

Percy stood and held his arms out, and Merlin hugged the shorter man, burying his face into the curve of his neck, finally letting his fear be released in sharp sobs.

That’s how Doctor Thomas found them ten minutes later.  
“Merlin?” Merlin lifted his head, sniffing and wiping a hand across his red eyes. “He’s out. He’s going to be okay.” Merlin couldn’t have appreciated the man getting straight to the point any more than he did.  
“Were you operating?”  
“Gosh no! I’m no surgeon. But Gary’s name came up on the system and I came down to see what was happening. He’s in recovery now. He came to enough to let me know he wanted you updated, though he’s out again now, sleeping off the effects of the anaesthetic. It was an internal haemorrhage,” Merlin winced, his face pale, “his rib rebroke in what I understand was a fight. You really have to stop that boy of yours doing anything strenuous.” The doctor chuckled, so Merlin chuckled back, but it sounded alien, strained. “The broken rib cut into blood vessels in his chest but they’ve cauterised them all. It wasn’t actually a severe bleed, but he went into hypovolemic shock. He’s been evened out with a transfusion and vitamin K, as well as some medication to keep his heart rate calm. He’s going to be just fine. But, Merlin, there’s a police officer saying he needs to speak to him, and I did note the policeman also asked to speak to a certain Mr Dean Baker when he comes out of surgery. I presume there’s a connection.”  
“Thank ye, doctor, for telling me this. Baker is his stepfather.” The doctor raised an eyebrow that demonstrated his understanding better than any words.   
“Well, I won’t rush to tell him that Gary’s out. You can go in and see him any time you want, though he’ll be out for a while, and I’ll come check on him in an hour or so.”

It was three hours later when Eggsy finally came round, and Merlin hadn’t moved from his side.  
“Milis, are ye back with me?” Merlin whispered as Eggsy blinked his eyes and stared blankly at the ceiling.  
“Merlin,” his voice was creaky and he coughed. Merlin held the cup of water with a straw so Eggsy could sip.  
“How are ye feeling, Milis?”  
“Achy,” Eggsy admitted. “My head hurts.”  
“I’m not surprised. Ye had another transfusion. Ye’ll have none of your own blood left.”  
“Did they make me the bionic man yet?”  
“Still got all your own bits,” Merlin joked.  
“Well, that’s something, at least.” But Eggsy got serious, his eyes dropping. “Merlin, I did a bad thing.”  
“No, Milis. Ye did what ye needed to.”  
“Is he- did he survive?”  
“Aye. Which is more than he deserved. Doctor Thomas has been to see you. He filled me in on what they’ve done. Ye’re going to be alright, but ye’ll have to take it a lot easier than ye did.”  
“I’m sorry, Merlin. I shoulda listened to ya straight off. Should never have gone back to the estate. Mum- mum’s OD’d. I guess she’s here somewhere. I don’t even know if she’s-,” Eggsy gulped back a sob, grimacing as it wracked his torso.  
“She’s alright, Eggsy. She’s in the psych ward. Doctor Thomas checked for you.”  
“Why’s she there? She didn’t do on purpose. Did she?”  
“Doctor Thomas didn’t say, but I think it’s standard for overdoses.”  
“And what about Daisy. Dean- Dean said she’d been taken. Social Services, I guess. I can’t have her going into care, Merlin.”

Merlin flushed, the guilt overwhelming him. He would have to tell Eggsy the truth, but he couldn’t do it yet, not when the boy was looking at him with wide aquamarine eyes, glossy with unshed tears, squinting in pain, lips almost colourless. He needed Merlin to help him get better, not to make things worse.  
“I’ll make some phone calls. Find out for ye.”

There was a knock on the door and Merlin turned.  
“Hi uncle Merlin. Sorry to interrupt. I’ve been sent to interview Eggsy, can you wait outside?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short - because it's building toward a denouement (Eggsy stabbing Dean was the climax, not sure I made it exciting enough though). Ooh, so very many loose ends to tie


	12. Under Pressure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy finally has to give a statement - no other choice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I wrote this entire chapter, and hated it, so metaphorically screwed it up and threw it in the bin. I'm a lot happier with this version, but still a bit worried it's missing the mark. Fx you like it

Merlin went to meet Roxy at the doorway, pulling her outside, glancing back to see Eggsy’s face a combination of frightened and confused.  
“Since when, leannan?”  
“I passed the test Uncle M. I’m a Detective Sergeant now. But I don’t get to choose my posting, and they put me on vice. The victims’ unit to be precise.”  
“And that brought you here why?”  
“Your young man’s name came over the wire. Kind of unique. I phoned Uncle Harry. He told me this Baker fellow is known to be violent. And, don’t be mad Uncle Merlin, but he told me how you and Eggsy met. You left that out, didn’t you?”  
“Don’t _you_ be mad leannan. I’m not ashamed, but Eggsy has been through more than anyone should have to in his life, and it isn’t something he’s comfortable with.”  
“That’s fair. But, call me cynical, I’m guessing what Eggsy does as a job, and his violent stepfather, has something to do with the reason the pair of them are in here. What? His stepfather find out and beat him for it?” Christ, Merlin wanted nothing more than to tell Roxy everything, to make sure she understood. She obviously hadn’t remembered, or hadn’t made the connection, from when he’d asked her about getting Baker off the street, certainly not about the man being a pimp, and that made it harder – because if he reminded her now, he’d be breaking an unspoken promise to Eggsy. Instead, he pulled Roxy into a hug.  
“Ye’ll go easy on him?”  
“As easy as I can. But I’m not going to swaddle him in cotton wool. He isn’t _my_ baby boy.”  
“Fucking Harry; Eggsy’s…” but Merlin couldn’t help the warm smile that stopped him continuing, and Roxy’s face transformed from sharp mockery to awe. She hadn’t seen that look on Merlin’s face for a long while and if Eggsy gave him it, the boy just flew up in her estimation. 

When Merlin had left, after squeezing Eggsy’s hand and planting a soft kiss to the knuckle, with a promise that Roxy could be trusted, Eggsy turned to her, taking in the thick honey hair, severe eyes behind solid frames and jaw that could cut diamonds, and the badge she held out for his perusal.  
“So Merlin’s yer uncle?” He knew that wasn’t the relationship, but he needed to gauge how open she was going to be with him before he decided which parts of the truth he was willing to reveal.  
“Nah, more like family friend. Technically, Percy’s the only one who’s my actual uncle, plus Harry by marriage. My parents have always been a little…distant, so I spent a lot of time at the pub. It used to be a joke, because Merlin would teach me things. He’s the first person who took me to the gun range. Uncle Percy was furious!” Her laugh was loud and strong – a trustworthy laugh, and Eggsy found himself relaxing by increments. “Anyway, because he was always there for me like that, I started calling him and James uncle, and it just stuck until it wasn’t a joke anymore.”  
“What was James like?” He knew he shouldn’t be asking Roxy that, shouldn’t be going behind Merlin’s back, but he was desperate to know.  
“You should be asking Merlin,” as if she’d straight up read his mind, “but, to me, he was fun. So much fun. Silly and immature. At first sight, a lot of people thought he and Merlin were a strange couple, because James never let up on playing for an audience and Merlin’s far more private. He was an attention seeker – so, so confident in himself, and on behalf of everyone around him. And clever. He had a PhD and wrote academic papers in his spare time. Literally: spare time.”

Eggsy sunk back a little against the cushion, deflated. Roxy raised her eyebrows.  
“You know Uncle Merlin has never been looking for a replacement for James? He could have found one easily. Plenty of men from the university tried to ‘console’ him. Gorgeous, clever men, with wit and charm. He didn’t want them, and he still doesn’t.”  
“Are you sayin’ I have no wit and charm?” Eggsy managed to joke, though it wasn’t really.  
“I only just met you, Eggsy, but if even half of the things my uncles have told me about you are true, you have enough wit and charm to keep the Titanic afloat, you just present it differently.” Eggsy blushed, wondering just how much she’d been told. 

“On that note, can we talk about what happened?” She’d been told too much, apparently. Eggsy froze, just staring with wide watering eyes. “Eggsy, I’m not here to judge you. I need the truth.” Well, she wasn’t getting that. Even if Eggsy overcame a lifetime’s conditioning, he wouldn’t tell her. Because if he told her everything, she’d be flapping about getting Dean charged, and when it didn’t work, Dean would come down on him ten times as hard. And while he figured he’d deal with that, just like he always had, it wouldn’t just be him suffering, it’d be Daisy, and his mum, and it’d be the looks and judgment from every other person on the estate. You just don’t grass. 

“Hey, let’s start small. Tell me about a normal day for you.” Nope, that’s where danger lies. What’s he going to do? Describe Dean fucking his mouth before he heads out to sell his arse in Soho? Talk about Dean beating him black and blue for not bringing home enough cash? Casually mention running drugs over to one of the minor dealers? Mention shoplifting nappies for Daisy because she’s run out and Dean’s spent the housekeeping on booze? He just kept his mouth shut.

“Eggsy, you have to make a statement. If you refuse, then all they’ll have is Dean’s statement.” Shit, that made him sit up (metaphorically, it was still fucking painful to move).  
“What do you mean?”  
“Just that, in a situation like this, when there was no one else there, the prosecutor has statements to go on. So they’ll have Mrs Minnow, who found you both and called the ambulance, and they’ll have the paramedics and the first response police. But there’s no first-hand witnesses. Only you and Baker. If you don’t give a statement, his is the only one they have.”

Eggsy thinks, panicked, trying to calm his thoughts, knowing that it’s no use.  
“Listen, Eggsy, I absolutely should not say this to you, for so many reasons, but you need to be aware that if you refuse to make a statement, and Baker manages to come out of this looking like a victim, it could make it easier for him to get your sister back. And if his statement makes it look like your fault, you could be looking at a pretty severe charge. Prison is a real possibility, even though your record is clear so far.” Eggsy couldn’t have that – just the idea of not being there to protect Daisy made him feel sickness rising. 

“Eggsy. I’m aware this is hard for you. I’ve not been a DS for long, but I’ve been a cop for six years. My first community included Aylesbury. I’m guessing you’d recognise a lot of what went on there, as well as the attitudes of the people who live there. I know how hard it is for you to trust the police and, I’m guessing, with Baker in your life, it’s been pretty hard to trust anyone else, too?” Eggsy shrugged. “How about I tell you what I think happened?” When Eggsy didn’t respond, she took a breath and continued anyway. “You got home, and Dean was angry about something, and he hit you, and then he choked you, the bruises support that, and pushed you into the table making it break, and you grabbed a leg of the table and stabbed it into his neck. How’d I do?”

Eggsy was mainly horrified at how clinical she made it sound. It was nowhere near as _clean_ as that.  
“I didn’t mean ta stab him,” he finally whispered.  
“Okay.”  
“I was trying to hit him with the leg, but I couldn’t breath and my vision was dark, so I couldn’t see what I was doing. I dint even realise until he’d stopped choking me and I’d got out from under him.”  
“Okay, that’s good Eggsy. Do you think Baker’s statement is going to include the fact he was strangling you?” Eggsy shrugged. “Well, I doubt it will. So you can see how important it is for us to get your side of it.”

Of course, she wanted more. But even though Eggsy could easily recognise her gentle pushing, the words she kept repeating – about making sure he was kept away from Daisy, making sure he couldn’t _do_ this to Daisy (and Eggsy knowing the greater extent of what ‘this’ actually was meant it hit home with far more force than Roxy could have envisioned) – those words made it easier for Eggsy to go against the habit of a lifetime and tell her, if not everything, then almost everything.

He was pale with shame when he’d finished, but Roxy’s face was still blandly non-judgmental. To her credit, she’d only looked like she wanted to cry four times, and she only mouthed ‘bastard’ eight, so he knew she had it together pretty well. When he’d finished, he watched her, awaiting a response. 

She took her own deep breath then, twisting her fingers.  
“It’s not good, Eggsy. Do you think your friends would testify against him?” His face clearly gave the answer and she sighed. “Of course not. And, anyway, their path to the streets was different to yours so they’d probably be dealt with separately, so it wouldn’t strengthen the case. And your mum is no use at all as a witness, the defence would destroy her testimony in minutes. So essentially, it comes down to your word against his, because his own men won’t land themselves in hot water by talking.”  
“You don’t believe me?” Eggsy’s voice was a lot smaller than he’d intended.  
“I believe everything you’ve said, Eggsy. The system isn’t geared to help victims though.”  
“I aint a victim!”  
“Shh, Eggsy, please. I’m speaking in a purely technical, legal sense. In a way, all the potential witnesses who wouldn’t testify seriously weaken a case, because the defence would leap on the lack of corroborative witnesses immediately, and actually use some of those people, lying, of course, to support their own case.”  
“Ya keep saying defence, but ya’ve got it wrong. I’m not…suing him, or sommat. I’m not getting up in a court and saying the stuff he’s done ta me, not ever. I’m telling ya this so ya can understand why I had to get him offa me. Why he got stabbed with the table leg.” Eggsy hadn’t even told her about the stuff Dean’d made him do with his mouth and stuff, the stuff he’d let that Charlie do. He’d only admitted that Dean was a violent alcoholic who dealt drugs and pimped Eggsy out.

“Oh. Oh, I see. I’m sorry. Did he ever put you in hospital before?”  
“Sure. But I aint ever told the cops, so there’s no history.”  
“When was the last time?”  
“Coupla weeks back.”  
“That could work. Would you make a statement about that?”  
“Fuck no,” all Eggsy could think of was that they’d ask for the medical records to corroborate what he said – and what those records would show.  
“Well, fuck, Eggsy,” and he almost laughed – she swore just like a bird from the estate, but with a posh accent, “you haven’t given me a great deal to work with. And least we have the evidence of the bruises round your neck, but his motivation is weak without the history to back it up. This is going to be tough if he doesn’t admit culpability.”  
“What’s that mean?”  
“Well, a likely turn of events will be that he claims you attacked him. And his reasoning is likely to be equally as reasonable, even though it won’t be true.”

Eggsy shuddered. The whole thing felt overwhelming. Maybe he _should_ just go to prison. It’s not as if he couldn’t deal with the kind of stuff that went on in there. Knew he’d be a typical ‘pretty face’; but that’s all he’d ever been to most of the men around him – he could deal.  
“…understand?” Eggsy looked blankly at Roxy, he hadn’t been listening and she huffed. “You and I both know you haven’t told me everything, but if this is as far as you’re willing to go I need to know you understand the potential consequences.”  
“I just want Daisy safe. And me mum.”

Roxy laughed, but it was desperate sounding; sad, but understanding. Eggsy figured she probably dealt with a lot of people who wouldn’t grass – people who were protecting others, or protecting themselves. She’d agreed that the system wasn’t set up for victims, after all. Not that Eggsy was a victim. Sure, he’d been unlucky Dean had ever come into his life, but he could always have walked away, it’s just he wouldn’t do it, wouldn’t leave Daisy, or his mum.  
“Hang on, do ya know where Daisy is? My sister?” Roxy gave him a look that he couldn’t place, a looked that waved through multiple emotions, before she shrugged.  
“I’ll get details for you. Do you want to see your mum while you’re in hospital?” For some reason, Eggsy’s response was to shrink back against the bed, but he couldn’t unpick that with everything else going on.  
“Uh, maybe later, yeah? She…”  
“It’s okay Eggsy, I get it.” Eggsy knows Roxy doesn’t ‘get it’, or at least he hopes she doesn’t – the sadness when she’d mentioned her distant parents hadn’t seemed like _that_ kind of sadness, but it wasn’t as though he was an expert.

Instead, Roxy took his ‘statement’, sighing at surprisingly accurate intervals when it was clear she could tell he was holding something back. She was good, he’d give her that.  
“Eggsy,” the word sounded incredibly frustrated, but he was done now, even as she tried again. “Can you tell me why Dean was so insistently holding you down on the floor?”  
“Ya’d have to ask him that.”  
“That’s all you’re giving me, isn’t it?”  
“Yup.” He tried to make it casual, but it was beginning to get too much. He could feel the emotion swirling in his gut, creating a feeling of nausea that didn’t seem like it would ever go away. “I’m sorry,” he gulped, finally unable to hold the tears back. “Ye’ve bin nothing but nice to me – the lot of ya – and I go ruin it by refusing to stand up.”  
“Shh, Eggsy, it’s okay,” Roxy looked a little shellshocked and Eggsy allowed himself a watery giggle at the fact that she clearly wasn’t a woman who was comfortable with emotions. “Believe me, I know it’s not as simple as deciding you’ll say something. I’ve not been doing this job long, and it’s intense, but even way back when I was in uniform…you see people at their most vulnerable, and I would never judge you for the ways you try to protect yourself.”

* * * * *

Doctor Thomas got himself assigned to Eggsy’s follow up care, and he was nice, never pushing to get details out of him, which Eggsy appreciated, but he refused to let Eggsy get discharged for over a week, which he appreciated less.  
“Your stepfather has been released.”  
“What?”  
“They’ve discharged him. Today. Some lanky ruffian picked him up.” That’d be Rottie, no doubt. “So, I can discharge you, if you want. Though you have to promise you aren’t going back to him.”  
“Well, it’s about time. But why’d ya keep me in? Have you been talking to Merlin?” Merlin had been working on him, fairly consistently, trying to get him to make the same promise. He’d agreed to it, sort of, but only on the proviso that Daisy was taken permanently out of Dean’s care. Merlin had told him that Social Services had let him know that Daisy was being fostered by her Aunt, but Eggsy was still nervous, because Dean knew where Aunt Marylin lived.  
“There may have been information shared, off the record. There was some suggestion that some of your stepfather’s friends may have tried to exact some revenge if you’d have been seen.”  
“Well, ya know then that Daisy won’t be safe. I’ll have to go back to make sure he’s distracted and he leaves her be where she is.”

He turned away from the doctor’s scowl as the door swung open.  
“Eggsy. Hello Doctor Thomas.” Merlin looked pale, the bags under his eyes aging him for the first time. He had a woman with him; a slightly dumpy but kind faced middle aged woman, with an enormous handbag and a clipboard.  
“Hello. You must be Eggsy.” She had a soft Midlands accent and Eggsy knew instantly where she was from, even as he felt calmer already. “I’m Gloria.”  
“Yer from the social?”  
“I am from Social Services, yes. I wanted to speak to you because Mr Merlin has told me you’d like to see your sister.”  
“Am I allowed?”  
“With approval, yes.”  
“Is Dean seeing her?”  
“Not until he’s passed a fitness interview. But I can’t talk about him other than that.”

Gloria’s questions were far more intrusive than Roxy’s had been the week before, but Eggsy answered them all. Not always with the truth, obviously, but he certainly wasn’t saying anything that might make Dean seem like a good person.  
At the end, she announced, “I see no reason at all why you can’t see your sister, though you’ll have to phone the offices to make an appointment.” Eggsy was happy, of course, but he also couldn’t help thinking that she had just _believed_ him. He’d told her how important Daisy was to him and how he’d do anything to protect her: the truth, but she’d simply taken him at his word. What’s to stop Dean from convincing her? He could be a smooth bastard when he wanted to be, even if he hadn’t bothered around Eggsy for a long time.

“Ye’re thinking Milis, I can see the cogs whirring.” Merlin tried for lighthearted but there was clearly something going on.  
“What’s the matter? Ya look tired.”  
“Not sleeping well with you in here.”  
“Missing my tight little arse?” That got a reaction, and Eggsy couldn’t help the wriggle of delight when Merlin groaned.

“Ye’re teasing an auld man, Milis, with your delectable body all delicately laid across this bed.”  
“Oh, Daddy! Yer funny thinking this is delicate. Though I fancy being laid across yer bed at home an’ having ya tease me instead.”  
“So do I, but I think your ribs might stop that for a while,” even as his hands exploring Eggsy’s side made the boy shudder in delight before he winced in pain. Merlin pulled back, not wanting to cause his boy any more discomfort, but Eggsy whined.  
“No Daddy, ya can’t get me all hard like that and stop, it’s mean.”  
“Brat,” Merlin chuckled, burrowing his face into Eggsy’s neck, which smelled like the citrus body wash he used himself, that he’d brought in for his boy. It reminded Merlin how much he wanted Eggsy by his side, and away from danger and pain, always. 

He slid a hand down Eggsy’s chest, under the thin sheets, easily finding his hardness and wrapping long fingers around the length. Eggsy grasped the collar of his shirt, throwing his head back.  
“Tell me what ye want, Milis,” Merlin all but purred in his ear, the responsive reaction just reminding him of the pleasure they got from each other. Eggsy turned his head, as if shy, nuzzling against Merlin’s now revealed collarbone, whimpering ‘please’ into the warm skin. “Need your words, balach math, need to know ye’re okay with Daddy playing with ye here, where anyone could just walk in.”  
Eggsy whimpered louder, apparently aroused even further by that thought. “Please, Daddy, make me come with yer hand. It’s so hot against me, feels so good, no one has ever made me feel as good as you.” Merlin kissed Eggsy’s forehead, breathing in the scent of his hair as his hand sped up. It wasn’t the most comfortable; he was using his other hand, twisted, to hold Eggsy down so he wouldn’t jolt his ribs – he wouldn’t have his perfect boy feeling any more physical pain if he could help it – but it was clear Eggsy needed this connection, this release. Eggsy whined, pressing against Merlin’s hand, his beautiful eyes fluttering back into his head, pulling Merlin’s mouth to his at the moment he let go, Merlin swallowing his cry of pleasure.  
“Better, Milis?”  
“Getting there, Daddy.”

Eggsy’s phone rang as Merlin was wiping him clean.  
_“Eggsy?”_  
“Hi, Roxy, how’s it going?” Roxy had been in to visit him a couple of times since the interview, and they got on really well when she wasn’t trying to get him to open up about his past, especially when Roxy was giving him all the funny stories about Merlin and her uncles. It was probably most handy to know that Harry never backed away from a bet, and he was holding onto that information.  
_“This is an official call, I’m afraid. It’s a good news/bad news scenario. Dean’s pressing charges over what happened.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, if you're wondering about Dean, I'll be having a go at his pov next chapter
> 
> Plus - obviously Eggsy is a victim - but his mindset won't accept that  
> And Aylesbury is a big council estate in South East London


	13. Unlucky for some

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean leaves the hospital and plots his revenge against Eggsy

Dean shuffled into the kitchen, wrinkling his nose at the smell. That stupid bitch Michelle had been pretty fucking terrible at housework, always focused on using his stash of the good stuff instead of doing what she was meant to. She’d been bad for years, but she got a lot worse after she had the brat. Useless bitch, letting herself go, disgusting flapping stomach. He’d told her to diet but she just whined about being hungry, though the speed had helped. At least that cocksucker of hers had kept the place tidy, and picked up a few other tasks that she’d been too out of it for him to want her for. He chuckled at the thought, though the lack of sound reminded him what the little fag had done and made him clench his teeth.

He grabbed another beer – the lads had set him up when he messaged he was getting out, though he hadn’t seen them yet, except Rottie, who’d picked him up but had been off – not even wanting to talk about the revenge he was going to get on Muggsy. Dean hoped that gangly bastard wasn’t getting any ideas about taking over his turf; one revenge plan was enough. 

He slumped back on the sofa, flicking the TV to some footie match. He didn’t even know which teams were playing. He’d never truly been that into the game, though you had to pretend, round here. Only faggots weren’t into footie, and Dean wasn’t one of them, no way – disgusting freaks. 

His mind went back to fucking Muggsy. That little shit-bastard who thought the sun shone out of his own arse. The cheeky little cunt who was always ready to rile Dean up with a gobby comment. Thought he was all that jumping in front of Dean’s fists any time he’d wanted to teach Michelle a fucking lesson. No wonder the dumb bitch never learned, just wailed about leaving her boy alone. At least the little shit was easy to manipulate. All Dean’d ever had to do was step toward his mum, or later, the screaming, shitting money drain that was his sister, and the kid would do anything Dean told him to. He could just imagine how he’d make the slag pay this time.

The doctor had told him his vocal cords would heal eventually, though he might need surgery if the nerves didn’t heal, and in the meantime, he just had to rest them. Fucking doctors, thinking everything could happen on their time, like they were something special. Anyway, Muggsy wasn’t going to have that luxury. Dean knew more about the vocal cords, and all the functions in the throat, than he ever thought he’d need to, but he was going to put them to good use now. He needed to buy a pigs head from the butchers actually, to practice on, because he’d heard (maybe one of those shit CSI shows or something) that pigs were like humans, and he wanted to make sure he didn’t cut any arteries or anything – he wanted Muggsy alive for having his own vocal cords cut, and for all the things Dean was going to do to him afterwards.

His hand slipped into his trackies, getting hard just at the thought of really putting that mouth to use. Maybe he’d use pliers to take his teeth first, well not _first_ , he needed the cords cut first, but after: the teeth. Then he could shove anything he wanted down the little shit’s throat. He made a mental note to buy some rope. He’d used his phone to look up sex stuff while he was going out of his mind with boredom in the hospital – found some _very_ interesting stuff on some sado masochist website, which he’d worked out meant hurting someone but in a sexy way. He liked the idea of that, though there’d been some bullshit about the person getting fucked getting off on it. He hadn’t bothered reading much, just looked at the pictures, he definitely didn’t need to worry about that where Muggsy was concerned, but it had given him a lot of ideas of stuff to do with ropes that he was looking forward to trying out. 

Fuck, he’d barely even noticed he was getting off before it hit, and then he had a gross handful of spunk, and no Muggsy to clean it up with his toothless mouth. Oh well, that would change soon enough. He waddled to the bathroom – it was filthy and stinking. Fuck. Maybe he’d get the fag to lick the room clean. That could be a laugh, though he suspected there might be blood, so he wouldn’t do a great job cleaning. Even funnier though, making him chase his own filth around the room. He dropped the tissue into the loo and went back for his beer, dropping onto the sofa. 

Of course, he’d have to get this done sharpish, before the cops came. But the fat pig who’d brought back his statement – he’d written it on the back of an envelope a bitch-faced nurse had given him and the pig had typed it up and brought it back – had told him it would take a couple of days to get the arrest warrant, and then a court date would be who-knows how much longer, so he figured he’d have plenty of time. And it was best to wait till the arrest, because then it would look real that Muggsy had scarpered, rather than he was floating down the Thames in bits.

Of course, he had to get the little bastard back to the flat, but that would be easy enough. He’d just send him a message and tell him Michelle and the brat were back. After last time, though, maybe it would be a good idea to get his lads to be waiting too. They’d like that. He’d run rings around them way too many times, and Dean remembered how pissed off Rottie had been a couple of weeks back when he’d ended up with a beating when he tried to get his hands on him. Rottie would definitely help. He might come up with a few ideas of his own, too; he always did like a go with Eggsy’s mouth after a job well done. 

There was a bang on the door. Who the fuck could that be? It wasn’t Michelle; stupid cow was under ‘observations’ or some such bullshit. They’d thought she’d tried to top herself on purpose, as if the stupid bitch would ever do anything that helpful. He hadn’t been to the ward to see himself – obviously; he had a lot more important stuff to think about – but he’d needed to know she wouldn’t be barging in while her shit of a son was bleeding out like a stuck pig, so he’d written a note to that tasty piece of ass nurse who’d been hanging round him with little hand touches and fluttering eyelashes, asking for an update. Slag was well up for it, though it was a shame Dean wasn’t really feeling up to much. Fucking Muggsy. And she’d turned into a frigid bitch after that cop had got in her ear, chatting her up. She’d probably split her fanny for him – everyone knew nurses were all over the filth. 

Damn he was getting hard again, thinking of pounding the little blonde slag in the mop cupboard or something, when the door banged again. Fuck. He shuffled into the hallway, glaring at the bits of table still all over the floor amongst a bloodstain – his fucking blood. He slammed the door open, feeling frustration at not being able to roar at the fucking idiot disturbing him. Even more so, it was just some fucking door saleswoman or something, some tubby old bitch with shit hair and no lips, glaring at him. She faked a smile that made her look like a fucking skeleton.  
“Mr Baker? I’m Gloria Wright, Social Services.” She held out a rat claw but there was no way Dean was touching her gross leathery skin. He just turned and walked back to the sofa.

“I’m sorry to interrupt, Mr Baker. I didn’t want to disturb you so close to coming out of the hospital but I’m sure you want this situation with Daisy resolved as soon as possible.” As if he gave a fuck. He just shrugged. “Okay, Mr Baker. I left you a letter the other day, but I understand a lot has happened since then.” No-fucking-shit, lady. “Here’s another copy. I understand your partner is in hospital so I will go and see her there. You might want to get someone to help you clean up in here – it will certainly do your case a lot of good when the department does your home visit.” As if he fucking cared about that. He just let the old witch blather on about ‘expectations’ or some such shit, not listening. He wouldn’t be doing anything to get the brat back, though Michelle would probably screech about it like a fucking banshee. Oh well, it was probably time to drop that useless bitch too. Maybe she _could_ take a proper overdose after all – it’s not like it wouldn’t be what they expected.

With such happy thoughts he was feeling pretty good about the stupid bitch’s visit when she stood to leave, and shook her hand – though she had the fucking nerve to screw up her nose when she touched him. Oh well, she wouldn’t be his problem. 

When he’d finally got rid of her he slumped on the sofa with another beer. Maybe he’d get pizza. He could use that phone app he’d made Muggsy put on his phone – wouldn’t even have to speak to anyone. The door banged. What the fuck? Had the stupid cow left her fucking clipboard or something? Damn, it had only been a few minutes, she wasn’t going to leave. He was getting pretty sick of having to walk down that dark hallway, so he wasn’t expecting the person on the other side to be the one to slam the door back when he opened it.

He let out a wheeze when he saw who it was. Fucking Phelps. Of all fucking people, fucking Phelps.   
“I understand you’ve been misusing my product, Mr Baker.” The man fucking _loomed_ , and it wasn’t all about his height. Dean had done a good job of avoiding too much interaction with this guy, even though he’d been selling his product for years, and the last place he’d expected to ever see him was his own flat. “You really have been letting this place go, haven’t you, Mr Baker?” The guy was a posh bastard, and he walked into Dean’s flat like he fucking owned the place, his two henchmen having to walk single file down the hallway to fit their massive frames. “And I understand you’ve been brokering deals with my subordinates too, deals that I would never have countenanced. _Your own stepson_ Mr Baker? You are one sick gentleman.”

Dean’s mouth flapped, nothing but air escaping.  
“Oh, are you worried about Mr Hesketh? No need. He is not your problem at all, or mine.” Dean couldn’t give a fuck about Charlie, but he was getting pretty worried about himself right now, especially when the larger of the two henchmen positioned himself behind Dean. “Barry, take a hold of Mr Baker, would you?” Dean couldn’t move before fucking ‘Barry’ had his hands on Dean’s shoulder’s, easily holding him still. “Roddy, go and see what kind of stash Mr Baker has left. I’d check the loose floorboards in the main bedroom, he seems the type.”

Roddy came back a few minutes later with several bags of pills and powders.   
“Wonderful. Well, our Mr Baker doesn’t seem to take very good care of the things we give him. Who’s to say these haven’t all been swapped out for aspirin? We’d better check these out for purity. The best way I know how.”

Dean tried to struggle as Roddy came closer, but Barry tightened his grip, and even the men in the room couldn’t hear the scream that Dean could hear loud and clear inside his own head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it was something else getting inside Dean's gross head, though I hope it was an interesting pov


	14. The Truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't abandon you, I just wanted to get my Pride & Prejudice & Omegas story finished (so much fun) so I could could focus on this (and, okay, the multiple other ideas I'm working on).  
> Just a short one to jump back in.

Merlin had gone to the police station with Eggsy so he could be told what the charges were. Grievous Bodily Harm, because the doctors had said Baker would have permanent damage on his vocal cords, even though he _was_ likely to get his voice back, which Merlin thought was a damn shame. 

“They’ll give him bail.” Roxy place a manicured hand on his forearm, giving a gentle squeeze.  
“Why aren’t y’in there making sure of it?” He didn’t like to lose it with Roxy, but he was terrified.  
“I had to recuse myself. I know him socially now, and, even if I didn’t, there’s the connection through you. To be honest, if my boss caught me talking to you now, I’d be for the high jump. But you don’t need to worry just because it isn’t me. I promise you, the guys in there know how much of a bastard Baker is. They can read between the lines as well as I can. Can I ask you something Uncle M?”  
“Ye can ask.” Merlin was suspicious. Right now, Roxy was a cop more than anything, and she was good at her job. So her question really threw him.  
“Why didn’t Eggsy know where his sister was, when I spoke to him last week?”  
“He knows now.”  
“That wasn’t an answer.” Yes, a competent copper.  
“I didn’t tell him I’d been involved. And I’d appreciate it if you didn’t either.”  
“Okay, Uncle M. He won’t hear it from me. But you know as well as I do that he _could_ hear it from any number of other people. And it will always be worse than getting it from you.”

Merlin was about to come up with a response, though he had no idea what, when he was saved by Roxy’s mobile. She listened in silence to the apparently angry murmuring on the other side.  
“Shit.” She exhaled it, looking more panicked than Merlin had ever seen the normally implacable young woman, before sprinting down the corridor, to the interview room he knew Eggsy was in. Merlin followed, ignoring the truncated shout from the desk sergeant, so he was standing behind her when she breathlessly questioned the interviewing officers.  
“Did you charge him yet?”  
“No, we were getting his statement first.”  
“Thank God. Don’t. Baker’s dead.”

* * * * *

“What does it mean, Harry?” Eggsy was still so pale, nestled into Merlin’s side in the booth with one of Percy’s special hot chocolates™ in front of him, although he hadn’t taken a sip yet.  
“Because they hadn’t charged you there’s a decent chance they’ll make the accusation go away. It would have been more complicated if they’d actually recorded a charge. And because you were able to provide an instant alibi for the attack on Baker, you won’t even be on their radar for this. They’ll be busy chasing down all the many, many people who wished harm on him.”  
“Well, there were enough of them.” Eggsy nodded, almost to himself, eyes dropping.  
“Listen, I’m getting Eggsy home. He needs to rest.”  
“You both do, by the looks of things. Call me if you need anything.”  
“I will. Thank ye, Harry, fer everything.”  
“Always.”

Merlin really couldn’t thank Harry enough. _Really couldn’t_. Harry was a barrister who dealt almost exclusively with the scummiest parts of the upper echelons of society, but his family’s law firm dealt with a much wider scale and he’d been happy to send a solicitor down to make sure Eggsy was being treated fairly. And if Merlin suspected that Harry, with his years of training with the SAS, sometimes took his personal opinion of the crimes committed a little further, and also developed contacts that weren’t always salubrious, then it wasn’t his place to say anything about it. Even when Merlin knew those contacts extended to the sharks Roxy had bemoaned as preventing the minnows getting caught. If Merlin had some kind of suspicion that it would have taken nothing more than a quick phone call to let the right shark know that Baker was now, apparently, in the business of gobbing off to the coppers, then that was a suspicion he was keeping to himself. 

When they were home, Merlin settled Eggsy onto the settee and wrapped a blanket around his legs, selecting a comedy show that he knew Eggsy liked, because they’d watched it together before, and headed to the kitchen to make some chicken stir fry. Quick and easy, because he didn’t want Eggsy on his own too long. 

He ate his own stir fry next to Eggsy on the settee, trying not to make it obvious he was watching Eggsy _not_ eat his. When he’d finished he put his bowl on the coffee table and gently took Eggsy’s.  
“Mo ghille, ye have to eat, so ye can take your painkillers. Just a few mouthfuls, Milis.” Eggsy turned vacant eyes toward him, but he opened his mouth, accepting a few bites before he turned his head. He took his painkillers readily enough and Merlin took his unresisting hand, stroking his cold fingers. “Ye seem to be taking this hard.” He didn’t want to press, but Eggsy’s almost catatonic state was freaking him out, if he was going to be honest.  
“I’m sorry, I can just barely believe he’s gone. After all these years, and he’s just gone.”  
“Does it upset ye?” Eggsy snorted, but winced and clutched his ribs.  
“Damn it. No. I’m not upset. Not like that, anyway. When they said he’d been beaten and someone had forced drugs down his throat, and he’d ended up suffocating on his own vomit…fuck, all I could think was why hadn’t whoever did it done it years ago, saved us all a lot of shit.” Eggsy giggled, a worryingly manic sound, and Merlin tried to sooth, stroking and shushing, unsurprised when Eggsy’s giggling turned into gulps, and then tears were pouring and he was clutching Merlin’s arms, his cries incoherent but no less heart wrenching for it. 

* * * * *

Eggsy seemed a little better the next morning.  
“I messaged Jamal and Ryan. Rumour has it all the dogs have scarpered. Some new fella was in the pub saying he was taking over the turf. Jamal and Ryan have no idea who he is, but they said a lot of the regulars were talking to him like he was a prince or sommat, ya know, bowing down and all that. So the dogs have legged it. Means they won’t hafta work the streets any more.”  
“That’s great news.” It really felt like it. Eggsy had a real smile on his face, and Merlin realised just how much pressure Eggsy had put on himself to keep his friends safe. Which reminded him of the other areas Eggsy took too much on for.

“Ye’ll want to see your sister soon.”  
“Yeah. I feel like I can now. I’m going to phone the Social Services office, book an appointment.”  
“Eggsy. I have to tell ye something. About your sister.”  
“Ya do?” Eggsy’s eyes narrowed, whether because he’d worked it out, or because Merlin’s tone was worrying him, Merlin couldn’t tell. But there was no use dallying. Rip it off, like a plaster.  
“I rang Social Services; before. They weren’t meant to take her away. I just thought-,”  
“Ya what?” Eggsy’s voice stayed low, but Merlin could hear the fury. “Ya- you are the reason my little sister got put into the system?” Eggsy enunciated each word slowly, as if to emphasise how much he wished he could punctuate each one with violence. Although Eggsy wasn’t a violent man. Hadn’t been, anyway.  
“They weren’t meant to take her. It was meant to make your mother leave, make her realise that she had to get away, to get her somewhere safer. But there was no one there when they-,”  
“Stop. Don’t talk to me.”

* * * * * 

Eggsy truly didn’t think he’d ever been angrier. He didn’t want to hit Merlin, but the sight of Merlin’s face was making him see red, making his vision blur. So he kicked him out. Of his own house. 

After he’d gone, Eggsy didn’t quite know what to do. He felt as though he might want to hit a punching bag, if the mere thought of moving too much didn’t make him nauseous. Even though the shudders hurt, he let himself curl on the sofa, pulling a decorative pillow into his stomach, and he fell asleep against fabric drenched by his tears, hoping the whole time that Merlin would decide to ignore his anger and come home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should have mentioned - I do not have any kind of legal background, but I suspect the whole 'not been charged yet, the whole thing goes away' is completely *not* the way it would actually work in real life, besides that they'd have read him his rights and arrested him *before* taking his statement, so please allow some suspension of disbelief (or the idea of dodgy coppers and Harry's greased their palms, that's fine too)


	15. Daisy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bit angsty, this

_Eggsy – wwyd?  
Ryan – he shud of asked does he think he owns u  
Jamal – it dont seem like that. He wanted to save u E  
Eggsy – u think? But Daisy got taken  
Jamal – remember hes posh bruv. He dont think about the social that way. He thought it was helping  
Ryan – but he shudnt of got involved in eggsys family  
Jamal – maybe somebody needed to_

Eggsy had no idea what to do. He’d woken up after only a couple of hours, with a raging headache and a dry mouth. Merlin hadn’t come home and Eggsy felt bereft when he came to properly. Maybe he’d gone too far? Maybe he was just waiting for Eggsy to get out of _his_ home, so he could come back?

He’d messaged Jamal and Ryan – both of them instantly offering him a place to stay because of what had happened to Dean – and he’d explained what had happened with Daisy. Or as much of it as he could, because their questions made him realise he hadn’t given Merlin much chance to explain things. It was pretty obvious Ryan didn’t think he should be forgiven, and that Jamal thought he should be given the benefit of the doubt. Ryan always was the one who didn’t want to rock the boat, or do anything different than they’d always done, but it was that that made Eggsy understand that he _really_ didn’t want to go back to the estate, even with Dean gone. He didn’t want to run the risk of being pulled back in. And he didn’t want Daisy there, ever. But Jamal was always the one who saw the good in people. Maybe both of them were too close to be reliable. 

“Darling, are you decent?” Percy came barrelling into the house like a whirlwind without warning. “You’re dressed at least, though I think we can do a little better than that to see your sister.”  
“What?”  
“I booked you in,” though Percy’s eyes were very shifty, and Eggsy knew it was Merlin who had arranged it. “Have you had your painkillers? No? Go and make some toast, drink some water, it will help those awful bags under your eyes, and take your pills.”

Eggsy was dazed, but it would give him something to focus on, and he needed that. He didn’t really know where anything was in the kitchen, but he wasn’t up for anything more than dry toast anyway, his stomach in knots. He drank three glasses of water in quick succession, and felt sick after, but managed to hold it in by taking deep breaths bent over the kitchen sink.

“Come on sweetheart, let’s get you showered. Leave the door open, I’m not breaking it down if you pass out in there, not with my delicate frame.” Percy shuffled Eggsy to the downstairs shower, that he hadn’t used since that very first night, and Eggsy could hear him whistling in the kitchen as he painfully stripped off, wincing at both the feel and sight of the violent purple bruises across his torso. The ones on his neck were violet too, but a lighter shade already. He could take some consolation that he’d be getting no more bruises from that bastard, not ever again. 

“Thanks, Perc,” Eggsy wandered into the kitchen, feeling much more human, the painkillers kicking in. He was thankful Percy hadn’t tried to doll him up; though surprised, as he suspected Percival was dying to use Eggsy as a living doll. But he’d selected one of the looser pairs of jeans and a cute striped t-shirt, and he’d even noticed it was his sneakers that were waiting for him by the sofa. Eggsy drank the cup of tea Percy had made him, and let him guide his arms into a smart blazer – so not ready for full casual then – before standing still while Percy ran his fingers through Eggsy’s short hair, straightening it out.  
“Ready?” Percival asked.  
“Yeah. Hafta be. For Daisy, yeah?”  
“For Daisy.”

* * * * *

“Uh, you okay Merlin?” Merlin held in the automatic response. He was sitting on the floor, surrounded by books because he’d decided it was a good time to restructure the fiction shelves, despite it being the busiest time of day and multiple people having had to pick their way gingerly through the piles to get to the till. Of course he wasn’t okay. But it wasn’t Tristan’s fault, and he couldn’t take it out on the lad. Instead, he shoved the piles to one side as best he could and stood, wiping dusty hands on his jeans.  
“Why don’t ye grab us some coffee and muffins from the café?”  
“No can do. They shut down. I can pop to the Pret on Brompton Street?”  
“Perfect, Tristan. Do that.” Merlin wasn’t that surprised the café had shut down – they made awful coffee – but he just needed Tristan out. Customers he could deal with, but not someone who knew him, however little, and could tell something wasn’t right. Not now, when shame was bubbling in his chest.

He was thankful for his friends, he just needed to keep a little distance right now. 

Harry had set one of the paralegals at his offices on a family law investigation, to find out properly where Eggsy stood now, with his mother and his sister. Something he should have done from the beginning, and the knowledge that he’d messed up that badly was not helping the ignominy and fear he was feeling over how he’d inadvertently treated Eggsy. 

Roxy had let him know – entirely unprofessionally – that Eggsy was free and clear over the whole Dean thing. They almost knew who had killed him; either some kingpin dealer or the man he had put into the estate to replace him, but they weren’t going to have evidence unless someone rolled, and that wouldn’t happen. So the case was almost cold before it had ever heated up and all the coppers wanted to do was wash their hands of it and of all that had come before. They’d want Eggsy later, for some summary statement to make sure he didn’t try to sue them down the line, but Roxy confirmed it would be weeks before they were ready for that.

Percival had instantly offered to go to Eggsy, and when Merlin had told him about the appointment he’d made, said he’d drive Eggsy there if he wanted to go. Merlin wished he could be the one to go, but had to stop being so selfish about this. If he couldn’t be there for Eggsy, he would just be thankful (and hopeful) that Eggsy would allow Percival to be there instead.

“Why are you making such a mess?”  
“Shit, Harry, when did ye come in? I really need to get a bell.” So much for distance.  
“You have a bell. Over the door?”  
“For your neck,” Merlin growled. God knows how long Harry had been sneaking around, waiting for the last customer to leave.  
“Come to the pub.”  
“When Tristan gets back.” The lad got back just then, looking a little sad when Merlin said he’d have his muffin when he got back, but he couldn’t face that problem on top of everything else, so reluctantly followed Harry next door.

Bors was behind the bar but even Harry drew the line at booze before eleven am, so he just gave a wave and guided Merlin to their usual booth.  
“Why are we here, Harry?”  
“Is that an existential question?”  
“No ye moron. Tell me ye have something.”  
“Not great news. Though some good. Baudwin – the paralegal from our Family Law department – has done a full investigation. It isn’t looking good for his mother. To be honest, I despair of people like that. The child should have been taken away at birth, but, as usual, no one speaks out.”  
“Please don’t say it like that. ‘People like _that_ ’.”  
“Oh, Merlin. I’m sorry. I promise I’m not being snobby; not this time. I’m just thinking of the pain, physical and mental, Eggsy was put through, and probably Daisy too, and all for this ridiculous notion that you don’t speak about it.”  
“As if ye can claim ye don’t come from the same kind of history! Ye’re a toff, Harry. The aristocracy has been ‘keeping things in the family’ for centuries.” They each took a deep breath, glaring, when Bors appeared, carefully placing two delicate china teacups down, his huge hands making them look like dolls’ cups. His appearance broke whatever tension had been brewing, and Merlin pushed out a heavy breath.  
“Thank ye, Bors. Ye always did have good timing.”  
“Well, Sir, fifteen years of missions with you two taught me a thing or two about remembering who the enemy really is.”  
“Thank you, Bors. And I’m sorry Merlin. I know this isn’t easy.”  
“Aye, but it’s not me I’m concerned about. Tell me.”  
“As I say, his mother has been a known drug addict for about seven years, but Eggsy always made it to school, and was good at playing up a story about a fight with a lad on the estate, or a trip down some stairs. Plus, I don’t think it got really bad until he’d left school, though he’s been in hospital fairly regularly since then, as has his mother.”  
“How on earth did Baudwin get that? He isn’t a hacker is he?”  
“Well, that’s classified, sort of, but, no. He’s not one of our computer experts. He’s just very, very good at sweet talking – particularly impressionable young ladies of the teacher, nursing, police-type of professions.”  
“Right, so your firm does honeypots. I see. Pimping out your employees.”  
“Don’t start that. We’re on the side of right. And I promise we’re nothing like Baker. No one is doing anything they aren’t willing to. We certainly wouldn’t fire, or even pressure someone for not wanting to do it.”  
“Shit, sorry. I’m just looking at everything-,”  
“Through an Eggsy-shaded lense? I get it. Anyway, the long and the short of it is that there’s no way Michelle Unwin is regaining custody of her daughter in anything like the foreseeable future. Her addiction has her in a strong grip – more so than I think Eggsy has revealed to you, and she’ll need to be clean for months before they even allow her unsupervised access. And Eggsy hasn’t got a chance either.”  
“What! But he’s taken care of her-,”  
“Yes, in ways that certainly don’t show up on their official registrars. And we can hardly insist that, because he spent his teens and early twenties both stealing for her and selling his body on the streets for enough money to make sure she got fed, it’s enough reason to give him custody. As far as the official record goes the only thing he has going for him is that he has no police record and he finished school. But, he has no job, no money, nowhere to live, as, of course, his mother’s address is going to be a red flag, no work experience, which will make them question what he’s been doing for the last four years. And, don’t say it-,”  
“What?”  
“You’re going to say he will live with you, and you’ll give him a job. But you cannot erase the last four years.”  
“So that’s it. He’s to be separated from his sister.”  
“That’s where the good news comes in.”

* * * * * 

“Shit, Perc. I don’t know if I can do this.” Percy turned sideways in the driver’s seat, his head perched to the side like a particularly inquisitive border collie.   
“Why not? Everything you’ve said- your sister thinks you’re amazing doesn’t she?”  
“We’re close. But that’s it, int it? I let her down. I wasn’t there when she needed me. She can be a feisty little madam. She might hate me by now.”  
“Oh, yes? I wonder where she gets that from.”  
“Not now,” Eggsy huffed, crossing his arms and considering just refusing to move from the comfortable leather seat of the Jaguar.   
“I don’t want to guilt you. And I don’t know that much about little kids. But Daisy was scared of Dean, right?” Eggsy just nodded. “And your mum has had her own issues, so probably hasn’t been there for her as much as she needed? So, you were the one that was there for her?”  
“I guess,” Eggsy whispered.  
“So you’re worried she’ll be mad you weren’t there when they took her. But I reckon she won’t be mad, but that she will be scared. Scared that you’ve gone and maybe won’t come back, even if her aunt is telling her you will. She’s five. She isn’t going to believe that until _you_ can tell her yourself.”  
“She doesn’t even know Aunt Marylin.”  
“So she needs her big brother. And maybe then she’ll be able to believe that things will be alright.”

* * * * * 

Eggsy’s legs felt dead as he pulled himself out of the low slung car, and he winced at the effect on his ribs. But Percy guided him up, and walked him to the white painted gate.  
“I’ll wait in the car.”  
“No ya bloody won’t. If nothing else, ya can charm my aunt. I don’t really know her, either. Haven’t seen her since I was a kid.”

It was a typical street of London terraces, each with a bay window upstairs and downstairs, some clearly refurbished, others on the more derelict side. This one, his aunt’s, was one of the nice ones: a glossy black door, with brass handle and knocker, the stonework around the door and windows a clean, freshly painted white, neat greenery in terracotta pots lining the path. Eggsy knew his uncle had a good job – something officey in the City, and his aunt was a primary school teacher. But he didn’t _know_ them. Had never even met his uncle, and the only thing he could remember about his aunt was that she looked a lot like his mum, and that his mum was malevolently pleased that she couldn’t have kids, and that it messed up her, apparently, otherwise perfect life.

It felt like forever before he heard someone moving behind the door, and he wondered if she was being cruel on purpose. Maybe she hated _him_ as much as his mum hated _her_ \- for being a child his mum could have with apparent ease, as Michelle had only been seventeen when she’d got pregnant with him, and he knew it was an accident – his mum told him that almost as often as Dean did.

Finally the door swung open, and Eggsy had to take a step back. He knew Marylin _looked_ like his mum, but this was almost creepy. Because she looked exactly, to the last golden lock, how he was _sure_ his mum would look without the drugs, and Dean, and the estate. She was beautiful, with a wide, genuine smile and clear blue eyes – the same blue eyes that Daisy had – and Eggsy gulped down emotion. She paused for a moment, as if uncertain, her eyes flicking between Eggsy and Percy, before she stepped forward, enveloping Eggsy in a very careful hug.  
“Eggsy, my love, how are you feeling? Ooh, you have one very excited little girl waiting for you in there. It’s all Ross can do to keep her sitting at the table.”

He could barely allow himself to think she was telling the truth, but followed her tentatively down the hallway, past the stairs, through an arch into a large kitchen/diner with French doors into a small but very green garden. The layout barely registered though, as a tiny blond tornado flew from the round table, launching at his middle so hard he barely held the scream of pain, only able to stay upright because Percy was holding him up.  
“Daisy, darling, no!” Marylin rushed over. “Careful. I told you Eggsy has an owie on his tummy.”  
“Sorry Eggsy,” Daisy’s blue eyes watered.  
“It’s okay flower, come here.” Eggsy kneeled and carefully pulled Daisy into a hug, nuzzling into her clean hair, filling his senses with happiness.  
“Are we going home today, Eggsy?”  
“Sh- uh, no, flower, not today. I can’t take ya.” Eggsy watched in dismay as his sister’s eyes overflowed with tears and she ran, hugging tightly to her aunt’s legs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> talk to me 😁
> 
> would love to hear where you'd like this to go, though I'm not making any promises 😉


	16. Life goes on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am soooo bad at chapter titles. Gonna have to think of a new method going forward in new stories - maybe song lyrics, or a line from the chapter.  
> Anyway, Eggsy coming to terms with stuff, kind of soft and bouncy

Marylin picked Daisy up, the little girl clinging tightly to her, and Eggsy allowed himself a moment to be thankful Daisy obviously trusted her aunt and had been able to develop a bond with her, even as his heart broke.

When they were in the lounge, Eggsy sat carefully, grateful for Percy’s grounding hand on his back, watching with pain in his heart as Daisy refused to lift her head.  
“It’s okay,” Eggsy said to his aunt as she attempted to encourage the child. “It’s all a bit much, yeah?”  
“It is. I’m sorry Eggsy. You must have been missing her terribly. She’s talked about nothing but you the whole time she’s been here.” Her eyes widened as she saw Eggsy try not to cry. “God, that was insensitive. I’m sorry. Again.” There was a weak laugh, that Eggsy mirrored. He could see she was trying; it wasn’t easy for any of them.  
“So what happened? How did ya get Dais? I’m pleased she come here, don’t get me wrong. I was really worried when I heard she’d been taken away.”  
“Gloria – you know Gloria? She’s the social worker – she said there’d been a special request put in that Daisy came to us. It was good timing, because the little boy we’d been fostering went back to his mum a few weeks ago. She’d had cancer and had no family, so it was very bittersweet to hand him over. We’d looked after Lucas for over a year. So when Gloria asked, well, it was a no brainer, wasn’t it Ross?” Her husband had come in with a tea tray, setting it on the coffee table and giving a brief murmur of agreement as he picked up a small plastic cup of juice.  
“Would you like some juice, petal?” He crouched by his wife, gently pushing Daisy’s blond waves out of her eyes. She snuffled, but righted herself on Marylin’s lap, offering a weak ‘thanks’ as she took the cup.

“So, you must be Mr Merlin?” Marylin asked Percy, and Eggsy had to hide a smirk as Percy almost spat out his tea.  
“No, darling, I’m just Percy.”  
“Sorry Aunt Marylin, I didn’t introduce him. Percy’s my friend. How do ya know about Merlin?”  
“Oh. Gloria, she said-,” Eggsy didn’t really listen to the rest. Merlin, again, getting involved. Pressuring him. Making appointments. He knew, or had guessed at least, but the reminder was bringing all the feelings of betrayal back. Percy seemed to feel the tension, and the soothing hand rubbing his spine got a little more insistent until Eggsy was able to shake off the cloud.  
“Has my mum been to see Daisy yet?”  
“She hasn’t, love. Gloria told us she was in hospital, though she did say yesterday she’d be home soon. But you know, don’t you? When did you see her?” Eggsy flushed with shame at not having an answer to that. He knew Marylin was aware things weren’t great, but he also knew she blamed it on Dean. She probably assumed Eggsy’s relationship with Michelle was solid, after all Michelle was his _mother_ , and suddenly he had to hold back a gulp of what it might have felt like to have a real mother, who cared properly, like he was sure Marylin would have if she’d ever been given the chance at kids of her own.

He was grateful for the social lubricant that small children offered, then, as Daisy finishing her juice seemed to be her prompt to fully forgive Eggsy and she rushed off to get the dollies that Marylin had got for her, adding the puppy stuffy that Eggsy had finally remembered and passed over, encouraging Eggsy and Percy, who she took an immediate shine to, to play school with her and her toys. They spent an enjoyable hour being well behaved students and Daisy was content to let them go, at the promise that Eggsy, at least, would visit again the next day.

“She coped with that well,” Marylin suggested with a smile that Eggsy was sure was meant to be reassuring.  
“She’s used to not making a fuss.”  
“Sorry. I mean- I know it wasn’t easy for you, with that man. And I’m truly sorry I couldn’t help more. I tried, when you were younger, but Michelle didn’t want- I don’t know. I feel like I should have done more anyway.”  
“You couldn’t have known.” Eggsy knew she _still_ didn’t really know, and he wasn’t going to be the one to tell her – she didn’t deserve the guilt that she would definitely have. Maybe she could have done more, but it was more likely that Eggsy simply **wished** she’d done more – been some kind of superhero and fought for him when no one else was going to. But superheroes didn’t exist.

“You can come back anytime you know? Gloria said you’re fine to – you don’t have to check in with them or anything. I’ll give you my number and you can message. You’ll always be welcome. Just remember Daisy’s at school during the day; I moved her to the school I work at, because it’s closer. I hope you don’t mind. I think social services would have moved her anyway, and Gloria said my school was fine. It’s a bit of a better area, good kids, you know?”  
“It’s fine. For the best.” The conversation was getting stilted, but it wasn’t her fault. Eggsy was just exhausted with the whole thing. “Tell Daisy I’ll see her tomorrow afternoon, yeah?”  
“Of course. Be safe Eggsy.” Marylin gave him a slightly awkward hug and waved them off the step. It would get easier, he knew. She was clearly a nice lady; a good person – she cared. 

“Shall I drive you to Merlin’s? You look exhausted.”  
“Can you take me home? To the flat. I think that would be for the best.”

Percy didn’t say much on the drive back to the estate, but he put a hand on Eggsy’s knee when he’d pulled up.   
“Listen, it’s not my business. And I can see you gearing up to agree with me and tell me to keep my nose out, so just shush. I’m saying it anyway. I won’t say that Merlin shouldn’t have called Social Services. I just won’t. I don’t even know the full story about what was happening in that flat, but I’ve heard enough, and seen enough of your injuries to know that, no matter how pissed off you are at him right now, he did the right thing in trying to help. No. Do not try to interrupt me right now.” Eggsy was flapping a bit, but kind of glad that Percy wasn’t letting him get a word in edgewise, because he wasn’t sure what he’d say. “He wants to look after you, and you should stop acting like you don’t deserve to have someone who wants that – because I’ve seen how awkward you get about it so I know what you’re thinking – and you should let him, if you even have any real feelings for him. But if you don’t, you should fuck off, though I mean that nicely, because Merlin _deserves_ someone who’ll appreciate him just as much as you do.”  
“Uh. I don’t even know how to respond to that. I agree Merlin deserves good things. More than me.”  
“Fuck, you’re really missing the point here.”  
“Maybe I am, but you’re going to have to let me. I need some time.”

Percy hugged him before he’d let Eggsy out of the car, and it was painful, but Eggsy let him, because he obviously needed it. He also made Eggsy promise to stay in touch by text, even if he was taking a step back from Merlin, and Eggsy found it easy to agree. He liked Percy, who was posh and arrogant, like Harry, but who also really, really cared and didn’t try to hide it. He wasn’t stupid enough, or angry enough, to push someone like that out of his life if he wanted to stay in it.

* * * * *

The flat felt weird. It was still filthy, but it wasn’t that. Even though Eggsy had always tried, battling against two adults who had no consideration for picking up after themselves meant that the place had always been a dump. But it was almost like the walls had finally absorbed the vile stuff that had happened inside them, and it felt alien and unwelcoming. Eggsy could do a bit of something about that, and he easily found the shoe box where Michelle kept her only decent pair of high heels, ignoring the ripped up floorboard where the police had clearly found and taken Dean’s drug stash and ready cash. Even Dean knew enough to not keep the bulk of his money there, in the obvious spot, and he found several thick rolls tucked into a shiny black shoe, snorting when he recognised at least three of them as being from his times with Merlin, wrapped in lilac rubber bands. He counted out the money – over four and a half grand – and breathed a sigh of relief. Rent and bills sorted for at least a few months, which gave him time to heal and find a job, because there was no way he was going back out in Soho. 

He found a new hiding place in his room, because he assumed his mum would be getting out of hospital soon, and didn’t know if she was aware of Dean’s hidey hole, as it had been a long time since she’d bothered to dress up in her best shoes. She was going to be looking, he knew that, wanting drugs, or money to buy drugs, but she’d lose the flat as well as Daisy if she went down that road. 

He took a few notes and headed to the corner shop, picking up cleaning supplies and bin bags. He was in agony when he’d finished, but it was worth it, because the flat was gleaming. All Dean’s clothes bagged up for the charity shop, all the old, broken, battered stuff in the rubbish, the kitchen and bathroom sparkling for the first time in who knew how long. He’d given up on the living room carpet, now stained with all sorts of he-didn’t-want-to-think-about-it, but luckily it wasn’t even fitted and he’d just torn it up and made a mental note to go to the carpet shop on Mile End to pick up a big rug. Maybe they could stretch to a second-hand sofa too. That would be nice. 

“Shit, Eggsy, you look awful.” Jamal had suggested coming over, but Eggsy was happy to see him.  
“Uh, thanks, Jamal. Just the kind of validation I was looking for,” he snarked.  
“I’m sorry bruv. I mean, the flat looks great. It’ll be nice for your mum to come home to. But you’re sweating, and you look kinda sick.”  
“I’ll be okay. Do me a favour and take these to the big bins while I take a shower.”

Jamal did as he was asked, and he even took the clothes to the charity shop on the high street, leaving them by the shuttered door. When he came back, Eggsy had showered and managed to put comfortable clothes on, and knocked back probably far too many of his extra-strong prescription painkillers, but he was feeling a little more human, and even ate some of the pizza Jamal ordered for delivery.   
“You decided what you’re doing about your fella?”  
“No. Don’t want to think about it for now. Do me a favour and just catch me up with you. You’ve not been back to Soho have you?”  
“No, thank fuck. Never going back. I’ve actually signed up for an extra module on my degree. Now I don’t have to get fucked on the regular I have a lot more time.” Jamal grimaced but then laughed, like it was a big joke, even though Eggsy knew it wasn’t, not really.  
“Bruv, I’ve never said anything. Kinda felt like it woulda been just adding to the shittiness if I’d brought it up, but now that it’s over, and we’re free, I don’t know, maybe you and Ryan should consider counselling or something?”  
“I don’t reckon we need it. You, though, I mean, the stuff you went through because of him…”  
“Yeah, but at least I’m gay-,” Jamal laughed properly that time, but it petered out and he looked incredulously at Eggsy.  
“You have to be kiddin’ man? Because you’re gay you should have been okay with abuse from Dean and his men, just because they were male? I’m gonna say this real clear, because I know you, Eggs, and I know you’ll be beating yourself up for this, but it’s not your fault that Ryan and I ended up selling our arses, and it’s not even really Dean’s fault. Okay, it kinda is, but not the way you’re thinking. He didn’t force us.”  
“He didn’t?”  
“Nah. He told us we owed him and, sure, we’d have had to do something illegal to pay him, and we’d have been in debt to him until the end of time, but he actually suggested we sell drugs for him. It was only when we said we didn’t want to end up back inside that he suggested hooking. The two of us talked about it a lot, before we agreed to it, and decided it was the least of the evils.”  
“Why the hell did ya never tell me?”  
“We knew you had enough going on with him. And, to be honest, I was ashamed of meself. It felt like taking the easy way out. Especially when we started to see how badly some of the other lads were affected, the lads on the street who _really_ didn’t have any other options.”  
“Like who?”  
“Like Sammy,” Sammy was hoping to transition and had often spoken to Eggsy about having no other option, having run away from home when family had taken the news badly. “Like you.”  
“I had options,” but Eggsy knew his denial wasn’t convincing.  
“I didn’t even know Dean that well, but I can pretty much guarantee he threatened your mum and Dais. That counts as no other choice from where I’m sitting. And I know he did a lot worse than send you out to Soho.”

Eggsy shrugged. After they’d brought it up the first time, the three of them hadn’t talked about it – not in any detail. And Eggsy really didn’t want to. It was bad enough Merlin knew so many details about what Dean’d done, without his best friends changing the way _they_ looked at him. And that just had him thinking about Merlin again, which he just wasn’t ready for.

He was grateful to see Jamal though, happy that at least one person was getting their life in order after the shitshow that was Dean Baker. Jamal told him Ryan was doing okay too, working in the big Tesco so he could pay his mum some board still, and thinking about college.  
“Does it feel weird to you?”  
“Does what?” Jamal questioned.  
“Being a normal person?”  
“Nah mate, it feels right. And you’ll get there too, promise bruv.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think it might be about time for Michelle to get out of hospital


	17. Good news/bad news

Eggsy was woken up the next morning with a rather large foot pressing against his cheek.  
“Oi, bruv, get your foot outa my face!” Jamal woke with a snort and a giggle, but it was Eggsy’s turn to laugh when he rolled over and right out of the bed.  
“Shit. Your bed is way too small for this.” They’ve never had a sleepover at Eggsy’s before – only ever at Jamal’s, where, as an only child, he was lucky enough to have a double bed – plenty big enough for top-and-tailing, unlike Eggsy’s tiny single.  
“Sorry man,” Eggsy sobered as he winced to an upright position. “Listen, thanks for staying over. I know Dean’s gone, but I really appreciate not being on my own my first night back.”  
“It’s not a problem. You know I love you. Me and Ryan’ll always be there for you.”  
“I appreciate it,” Eggsy mumbled, embarrassed, though he should be used to Jamal’s open temperament by now. “Anyway, bacon sarnies?”  
“Fuck, yeah.”

Jamal took first shower, and Eggsy fried up the bacon, slapping several rashers onto a slice of the white bread he picked up the day before, adding a swirl of brown sauce before balancing the second slice and cutting the thick sandwich into two triangles.  
“Fuck, yes. That smells good,” Jamal purred, laughing and taking a huge bite as Eggsy put his own butty together in the same way. Luckily, Eggsy had just put the two mugs of strong tea on the table when Michelle appeared in the doorway, so there was no spillage when he jumped a mile. 

“Fuck, mum,” he gasps out, “I didn’t even hear ya come in.” She was pale, except for the dark smudged bags under her eyes, her skin washed out and sickly.  
“Hi Mrs Unwin,” Jamal was polite – well brought up, he was – he’d never got to know Michelle enough to call her by her given name, not like Vasanti, Jamal’s mum, who treated Eggsy like he was her own, back before Dean had gotten her boy sent to juvie, anyway. Eggsy had never told Jamal how mad it had always made Dean to hear his woman being referred to by the name of the man who came before him. It wouldn’t have helped if he’d have stopped though – Dean would have just found something else to get mad about.   
“You live ‘ere now, do you Jamal? You sharing a bed with our Eggsy? You fucking him too?”  
“Mum! Ya can’t say shit like that. Jamal’s me mate, that’s it. I din’t wanna be alone, first night back. But you’re here now, yeah?”  
“Listen, bruv, maybe I’d better split? Give you chance to talk to your mum.” Eggsy didn’t want it – either for Jamal to leave or to be left alone with his mother – but he saw the sense in Jamal’s words and waved him off, returning to the kitchen to see his mum sat with her hands wrapped around his mug of tea, trembling slightly.

“Din’t make yer old mum a bacon butty, did ya?”  
“I didn’t know you were home today. I’ll make ya one now.”  
“Nah, stomach’s in knots,” her voice devolved into a whine. “Ya’d know that, if you’d bothered visiting me. They wouldn’t let me have any of me special pills in there. Ya got any, Eggsy; anything?”  
“No mum. The coppers took everything. You did get told, didn’t ya? About Dean?”  
“My Dean? They told me he’s dead, but I know there’s something ‘ere, he always hid a little something around, to make sure I didn’t go without. You’ll help me find it, won’t ya, you’re my good boy, Eggsy, allus was.” 

Eggsy couldn’t help it – he’d almost wanted to dance in the fucking street when he’d found out Dean was dead – he was sickened by his mum’s total lack of reaction – the way she barely seemed to be registering it. They’d been together for, what? Twelve years. He’d have hated her upset by it, but at least it would have been something, an emotion. He’d have preferred relief, or even anger at being abandoned, but there was nothing, no real reaction to him being gone at all, just worry about where the next fix was coming from. 

“Mum, you know you can’t take any drugs, not any more. You know they took Daisy? Did the social services come see you?”  
“They did, some old bat with a stick up her arse. Daisy’s fine though, love. She’s in with some nice foster family, give me a bit of a break.”  
“They didn’t take Daisy to give you a break, mum. They took her because she was on her own.” 

Eggsy was trying to stay calm – it would do no use to lose it with her now, not in the state she was in.  
“And why was she on her own? Where were you Eggsy, when she needed you.” She wasn’t getting angry, still no emotion, and it was weird, like she was some kind of robot that had been given ways they could get underneath the weak human’s skin – because it was like she was jabbing, stabbing at Eggsy’s guilt, but without any real enthusiasm. It hurt, but Eggsy wasn’t going to let it break him.  
“I was away, making money for your boyfriend using my arse.” It wasn’t the truth, but he seriously doubted she could remember that many days ago and he wanted to stab back a little – just the littlest bit, just to find out whether his mother was even capable of giving a fuck about him anymore. He was starting to think that maybe she wasn’t.   
“It wasn’t Dean’s fault you’d put out for anyone.”  
“What?! Are you- I don’t even know how to respond to that. Did ya really spend the last few years thinking I wanted to be out there?” She couldn’t have thought that? Obviously they’d never actually discussed what he did at Dean’s insistence, but, fuck, he was surprised _Daisy_ didn’t know, Dean was that lacking in care with how he spoke to Eggsy, with how he’d sit there with his hand out waiting for the cash every time Eggsy came home from a long night. And she’d found him, that time…she couldn’t think that Eggsy had wanted that?

“Ya know what? It doesn’t matter. You’ve got bigger things to worry about, clearly. It’s always been that way so I’m not sure why I’m even surprised. But if ya want Daisy back any time, you’re gonna have to do better for her than ya did for me.” Eggsy left the room, unable to even _look_ at his mother any more, unable to accept yet what he knew he was going to have to get over eventually: that she _didn’t_ care, maybe never even had.

Michelle spent the rest of the day seated at the kitchen table, staring blankly at the cold mug of tea between her hands. Eggsy couldn’t leave the house, didn’t know what he’d come back to. It was freaking him out – the emptiness in her eyes – but he didn’t want to speak to her either. He hated that her presence, and the guilt he felt, meant he couldn’t just let go, he couldn’t just hate her for not being there for him, couldn’t leave her to the mess she’d created for herself. When he went to bed that night, after guiding Michelle to her own room and leaving her seated, just as vacant and unresponsive, on the edge of her bed, he crawled into his own bed, somehow exhausted, despite having done nothing all day.

It was pitch black outside when he woke up, having forgotten to shut his curtains. He lay there, debating finding the energy to take some painkillers, wondering what had woken him. It was probably the pain, so he decided to suck it up and pulled himself up carefully, finding the pill bottle and swallowing a couple dry, shuffling onto his feet to go get some water to push them down. In the hallway he stopped, listening. There’d been a strange noise, and he moved closer to his mum’s bedroom door, listening hard. 

Tears; sobbing, muffled tears. His mum crying. Into her pillow, probably. Maybe finally feeling some guilt? Eggsy’s instinct was pushing at him to go to her, to soothe the pain she was feeling, but he stopped himself. He knew, if he broke and went to her, if he let her know how much it affected him, that she’d find a way, on purpose or by accident, to use it against him, so he padded to the kitchen and knocked back a glass of water, shambling back to his room, already thankful that the painkillers were kicking in as he tried to breathe through the discomfort in his ribs.

When he woke again it was lighter, but still not daylight, and it was obvious what had woken him this time. He could hear banging coming from down the hallway, along with angry shouts and high-pitched screaming. He went to his door, could hear her raging about where ‘it’ was, and it didn’t take a genius to know she was talking about either money or drugs. It was easier not to face up to her this time; the aggression she was letting out in her desperate fury being the last thing he wanted to be in front of, now or ever. 

He was up, though, so took a quick shower and dressed, ready to react if she decided to leave her room. He checked his phone, but only had a message from Jamal checking in on him. He responded, but thought twice about arranging to see him, or Ryan, any time. He was definitely going out to see Daisy later, and really wasn’t comfortable leaving his mum alone. It crossed his mind to ask Jamal to watch her, but that definitely wasn’t fair on him, and not his responsibility. 

When he came back from visiting Daisy, he wasn’t sure what he expected. She’d been almost catatonic again, as if the feral beast was only brought put by moonlight, but maybe she’d have broken down the front door (he’d left it locked) looking for drugs. He worried that she’d have hurt herself, but he’d looked up the stages of drug withdrawal and knew she’d gone through the worst of it while still in hospital, so was hopeful her mind wouldn’t go there. What he hadn’t expected was to find his mum latched onto Percy, clutching his shoulders and blubbing into his neck. And if he’d expected Percy to be desperate to escape, he was wrong; he had one elegant hand on Michelle’s back, soothing her, and the other stroking her hair like a child.

“Uh, is everything okay?”  
“Yes, Eggsy. I came to give you a lift to see Daisy, but you’d already left, so your mum invited me in.”  
“How? She doesn’t have a key.”  
“I have the odd skill. Harry taught me how to pick locks.” He said it as though it was nothing, so Eggsy decided it wouldn’t be a good time to break that down, or to get annoyed because his mum might have broken loose and gone looking for drugs – she obviously hadn’t, and as long as Percy hadn’t taught _her_ how to pick locks, it was all good.

Eggsy left them to it and went to put the kettle on. Percy joined him ten minutes later, looking saddened but resolute.  
“She’s a mess. I put her to bed.”  
“Yeah, bruv, ya don’t gotta tell _me_. I’m just glad they kept her in for a few days. It would have been ten times worse if she was coming straight off now. I checked it out online though, and she’s done the worst of it. Just gotta be careful she doesn’t fall back into it. She wants to.”  
“Yeah, her body does, but she says she wants to get clean for Daisy’s sake.”  
“Charming. Never did it for me.”  
“I’m not going to excuse her, Eggsy.” Eggsy waited for the ‘but’, but it didn’t come. “You’re right to be angry. It’s pretty clear a lot of what you went through was made worse by her addiction – she even acknowledged it herself. But her admitting it doesn’t mean you have to decide what she did or didn’t do to help you is okay. Her having a bad time of it doesn’t explain her not being there for you when it counted. You – and Daisy – should have been the most important thing to her. You weren’t.”  
“Wow. That’s- I don’t know if I can say it’s cold, because I feel the same way, but people from outside tend to make excuses, and say I should have sympathy.”  
“Well, I know first hand how shitty drugs make people. My sister, Roxy’s mum, she’s always had issues. Oh, no council estate for her, the best blow in the best clubs, but it doesn’t change the result much. She let Roxy down constantly. When she was younger she was saved by nannies and when she, and I, got a bit older, I could step in, so I did. And I’ll do the same for you, if you’ll let me.”  
“What, babysit me?”  
“If that’s what floats your boat, baby boy.”  
“Eugh, gross. It aint like that.”  
“I know, I’m just winding you up. All I’m saying is that I’ll support you, too. And Merlin will too.”  
“It’s too soon for that.”  
“You haven’t forgiven him.” It was a statement, but Eggsy heard the hope in Percy’s voice.  
“I don’t know. To be honest, so far, I haven’t really had time to think about any of it. I’m still crushed by him going behind my back like that. And then still not telling me. And the way I had to find out Daisy was gone…yeah, not the best. I’m not saying I won’t forgive him – it’s just gonna take some time.”  
“Do I tell him not to get in touch?”  
“For now.”

Eggsy didn’t want to tell Percy that. And maybe, just maybe, he secretly hoped that Merlin would ignore the edict. But he didn’t, and Eggsy spent the next four weeks looking after his mum, watching her slowly develop from a 3-week-old corpse into a functioning (sometimes) adult. He visited Daisy several times – Marylin always happy to let him have time with her, although he was careful not to get in the way, and it always felt a little stilted. When he felt alright leaving his mum home alone a bit more, he spent time with Ryan and Jamal, who were both light as air now that they weren’t selling themselves for Dean, and he met Percy several times for coffee, where the subject _not_ being Merlin was painfully obvious.

It was Saturday afternoon when he went to see Daisy again, Jamal coming with him this time, and Marylin was happy for them to take Daisy to the park and get her an ice cream afterward, even though Eggsy knew she wouldn’t eat her tea from it, and he guessed Marylin knew that too. 

When they got back to the house, Daisy grabbed his hand and tried to pull him up the stairs.  
“Come and see my room, Eggsy. Ross painted it.”  
“He did?”  
“Yeah, he let me pick out the colours and everything.”  
“Is that alright, Marylin?”  
“Of course, love, off you go.”

Eggsy admired Daisy’s room, which was painted pink with a pretty unicorn decal on the wall, and had a new-looking white wooden bed and lilac bedsheets. It seemed a lot for a foster child, and he wondered if they did that for all of the kids that came through. Maybe it had had rockets on the walls or something for the boy they’d had before and they wanted Daisy to feel welcome.

“Here,” Marylin passed Eggsy a cup of tea, Jamal already sipping his. “I wanted to talk to you.”  
“You do?”  
“It’s about Daisy. Has Michelle spoken to you about her?”  
“Not much,” Eggsy kept his voice low, but Daisy was involved in setting her dolls up for a tea party and not paying them any mind.  
“She spoke to Gloria, the social worker. It’s why I’m asking, because I’m guessing she hasn’t said anything to you. She told Gloria she wants Ross and I to adopt Daisy.”  
“What?” Eggsy was still whispering so his voice came out squeakier than it should, but he clutched Jamal’s arm, feeling dizzy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I think it's high time Merlin came back on the scene, don't you?


	18. Quiz night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love my job, but, sheesh, it takes up a lot of my time.

Luckily, Marylin understood Eggsy’s shock, and smoothed things over with Daisy (by promising more ice cream, but that was neither here nor there) so she didn’t get too upset over Eggsy’s need to leave. 

“Mum, were ya gonna even tell me?” Michelle was curled up on the sofa, watching some soap opera with a half-finished tub of the fancy ice cream in the crook of her hip. It was an Unwin thing. To an outsider, she would look good: her cheeks had filled out and her hair was already looking thicker; her eyes back to being a clear blue. But Eggsy knew better – the bruised-looking bags from insomnia, that couldn’t quite be hidden under heavy concealer, the scratches on her arms, that she did to herself when the temptation peaked. He wanted to scream at her for going behind his back about this, but he didn’t – because he didn’t think she’d be impacted; still a little dead inside, and also because it would require surprise from him, which he couldn’t muster, not when the selfishness was only what he’d come to expect.

As it was, Michelle just mumbled something about it being for the best, and it not really being any of Eggsy’s business, after all, because she was Daisy’s mum, wasn’t she? 

Eggsy went to his room, less able every day to engage with someone who refused to engage back with him. He thought about contacting Jamal, who’d left him at the stairs before heading to his own flat, but who had already tried with the attempted empathy about how Eggsy was feeling, without truly understanding it – not his fault when his mum was loving and _there_ , and always had been. She was a single mum, too, like Michelle had been back then, in the days when Eggsy was still innocent and thought good things could happen. She was attractive, too, in the way of beautifully defined cheekbones and a stern gaze, and had also had plenty of interest from men over the years, which she’d always rejected back then: Jamal being her priority. She had a boyfriend now; a good man with a steady job who Jamal got on with. Eggsy didn’t know what that would feel like, and he allowed himself just the smallest spark of jealousy that Jamal had experienced it.

Jamal did it tough in other ways, and so did Ryan, and he didn’t want to drag them in more. It didn’t matter anyway, because as soon as he’d lain on his bed with the thought that he didn’t want to have to cope with this on his own anymore, there was only one name that came straight into his thoughts.

* * * * * 

“Merlin, darling, come to the pub tonight. It’s quiz night, and you know how much you enjoy showing the rest of us up.” Percy fluttered his lashes, even though he knew it had no effect on Merlin. There was only one person who that would work for, and Merlin was increasingly withdrawn from his friends at the lack of communication from his boy. 

They kept trying, regardless. Merlin had even been keeping it together well, for the first couple of weeks. When Percy had told him that Eggsy just needed some time to get over his anger and what felt like a betrayal – and Merlin hadn’t even tried to defend what he’d done as anything else: it wasn’t necessarily _what_ he’d done, but the fact that he’d hidden it, he knew that – Merlin had decided to suck it up and allow Eggsy that time without whining about it. It was the least he could do.

But it had been four weeks now, and although Percy happily kept him apprised of what Eggsy was doing (mainly looking after his feckless mother by the sounds of it), the lack of direct communication had gone from being a lonely inconvenience to being a desperate loss. He’d almost completely pulled away from the bookshop, though he still came in twice a week to deal with deliveries, and that is where Percy had found him this afternoon, pathetically sorting through a pile of mystery books and trying to work out which ones Eggsy would like the most. 

“You have to get out of the house, darling, and out of your own head.”  
“Is he going to speak to me, ever?”  
“You know we don’t speak of you. It’s an unspoken agreement we have. But I caught him, often, stopping himself, and I know he wants to ask after you.”  
“Ye cannae be sure?”  
“Eh, I think I can. I’ve got to know Eggsy pretty well these last few weeks, and he is a boy who unintentionally martyrs himself, because he’s been trained to think he doesn’t deserve anything good in his life. I’ve already decided I’m going to bring you up, next time we meet. See what he does with it.” Merlin thought for a moment; he really did have the best friends in his life, always willing to go the extra mile and beyond for each other. That thought, and the thought of Percy maybe encouraging Eggsy to cease his embargo the next time they spoke, cheered him enough to pull a small smile.

“That’s a yes, then?”  
“Aye, I suppose a couple of hours won’t kill me.”  
“Hurray, enthusiasm, can’t beat it.” Despite the sarcasm, Percy had a wide grin on his face as he exited the shop with a wave. Perhaps an evening with his friends was just what he needed and, who knew, maybe they wouldn’t take the piss too much.

* * * * *

This was a mistake. If anything, it would have been better if Harry _was_ snarking at him about what an idiot he was, or even trying to get him to chat up the group of twinks three tables over to take his mind off things. Instead, he was gazing at Merlin with a look of fucking sympathy, reaching over to stroke his hand every few minutes, until Merlin put a stop to that by threatening to stab him with the quiz pen. Percy had been trying to keep Harry in check, nudging him sharply when it got too sappy, but Harry was paying him no mind, and Percy eventually rolled his eyes and announced he had to go and compere the quiz, which was in no way his job, under normal circumstances, but at that point Merlin was wishing _he_ could get up on the stage to escape.

“In what year did William Wallace…” Percy seemed to have broken, staring out into the audience with his jaw hanging open. Merlin was annoyed – he’d be bound to know this answer, whatever the question was – they were doing well, despite Harry’s continued moon eyes. The prize of free drinks for the night weren’t important, obviously, but he always allowed himself a little pleasure at a win, and Percy always improved the second prize when they did, to make up for not letting any of the other regulars have a chance. He was about to prompt Percy with a shout when his vacant gaze transformed into a face splitting smile, and then Harry was doing the same thing. What the fuck?

“Can we speak?” Merlin span in his seat. He was there, his boy; looking beautiful but nervous, his aquamarine eyes not leaving Merlin’s as he pensively awaited an answer, chewing at his bottom lip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short one - to set us up for what comes next 😉


	19. Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so full disclosure, when I started this fic it was meant to be mainly smut of the BDSM kind, and the prostitution and Dean were meant to be mainly background noise. But I got distracted. I'm not saying this chapter is BDSM (it's not), but it hints toward something that would be in pole position if I do a second multi-chapter part, and the Daddy kink is back in full force here.

Merlin felt warm, from the inside out. They hadn’t spoken; he’d just stood, nodding to Harry and following Eggsy out of the pub. They made it to his house still without speaking, or touching until they were almost there, when Eggsy tentatively reached a hand, brushing the pads of his fingertips against Merlin’s, who just managed to curl in time, catching them so they were doing this slight, barely there, hand-hold.

He didn’t want to distract from whatever this hesitant approach was, so didn’t offer a drink, or the TV, or even suggest any conversation – instead he just guided Eggsy to the sofa and they sat on either end, turned to almost face each other, but not looking, not properly.

“I should explain myself, I suppose,” Eggsy finally stated uncertainly.  
“Ye have nothing to explain.” God, Merlin wanted to say something more; drop a nickname, grasp a hand, or a knee, pull him closer and make him feel safe.  
“I mean, why I’ve come back.”  
“Ye have nothing to explain,” Merlin repeated. “I understand why ye wanted distance.”  
“You were okay with it?” Eggsy’s voice was almost a whimper, even as he coughed at the end to try hide it.  
“Fuck, no,” Merlin huffed out a laugh, but he wanted to sing instead at the way that exhalation made Eggsy’s beautiful face light up. “I’ve missed ye, Milis, every damn day. But I wasn’t going to push you.”  
“I appreciate that, I think. I missed you too. So much.”  
“I’m glad to hear it wasn’t out of sight out of mind, though ah’m sickened that I was causing ye more pain even when I was giving ye space.”   
“Don’t feel guilt for something that weren’t yer fault.”  
“But it was. If I hadn’t-,”  
“You’re right. If ya hadn’t gone behind my back, maybe we’d not have had this separation.” Eggsy stopped Merlin’s open mouth with a raised palm. “But I ain’t stupid, Merlin. I know that a lot of things ‘might’ have happened, every step of the way. Dean ‘might’ have hurt me worse, he might have killed me. I think he was starting to want to, for real. Daisy ‘might’ have got into his stash, or my mum’s, and taken something. Dean ‘might’ have decided I wasn’t enough of a punching bag, and started on her. Or I ‘might’ have been hurt on the street. I’ve had a lot of time to think about what’s happened, while I’ve been taking care of my mum, and I can’t blame you any more for what ya did, even though it still cuts deep that ya never told me.”

Merlin took a breath, letting it out as if he was emptying himself of the negativity that he’d blanketed himself with these last few weeks, with the ever-present worry that Eggsy was never going to forgive him, that he’d just let Merlin drop out of his life. He was nervous to ask, but needed to know.  
“Why did ye come now?”  
“I guess it hit me how much I needed you. How much I’ve been holding back by staying away.”  
“It did?” Merlin couldn’t help the note of hope that bled into his voice. All he wanted was for things to move back to the trajectory that he knew they were heading for before it all crashed and burned. But he couldn’t rush that; it had to be at Eggsy’s pace. “How’s Daisy?” He half expected the reminder to anger Eggsy; to remind him of why he’d pushed Merlin away, but Eggsy hung his head, emanating sadness, not fury.

“Eggsy? Milis? What is it?”  
“It sorta made me realise…all that stuff I used to do, back when I were younger; trying to protect my mum. It were pointless, the whole time. She never appreciated it – not then, and not now either. I did know – she always told me she hadn’t wanted a kid. She never wanted me, and she never wanted Daisy. We both know we were accidents. Unwanted mistakes. It never stopped either of us from trying though. But what she’s done now…” Merlin went cold at the thought of what Michelle may have done.  
“Please, Milis, I’m a little scared right now. What did she do to ye?”  
“Oh! Nothing. And that’s just it. She’s not ever done anything for either of us. And now she’s said she’s going to give up Daisy for adoption: just like that. No discussion, no thought, as far as I can see.”  
“But she’s sick? The drugs?”  
“That’s just it; she ain’t, not really. Don’t get me wrong, she had a tough time when she came out of the hospital. But she’s getting a lot better, and I don’t think she’s even taken any drugs since she got out. So it isn’t because her mind is clouded or anything. It’s like she sees this as the perfect opportunity to get rid of one of her mistakes. She’s probably wishing she did the same to me when she still could.”  
“Who’s adopting her?”  
“It’ll be my aunt. And, you know, honestly? I’m happy about it. Aunt Marylin loves Daisy, it’s already clear, even after such a short length of time. She’s there for her in a way that mum never was, even when she was having clear days. She can be _bothered_ with Daisy. And her husband’s the same. Daisy will be happy with them.”  
“Ye worried what it means for you as her brother?”  
“Maybe. But not much. I’ve held back a bit with Marylin, but I have a feeling, if I try, she’ll accept me just as much as Daisy. It isn’t that. I guess it’s reminded me what I’ve always been missing.”  
“What have ye been missing, Milis?”  
“I just want someone who’ll look after me.” Christ, Merlin wanted to be that person; hoped Eggsy meant what it sounded like he meant. Didn’t want to push it, but he opened his body language, leaning back a little, arms opened, as if calling for a hug, but not _too_ obvious, in case that wasn’t really what his sweet boy wanted.

Eggsy didn’t look at him, but he ducked his head, shifting forward, testing like a frightened animal. When Merlin kept himself still – calm – Eggsy moved forward more, until it seemed he decided his actions were welcome, and he clambered into Merlin’s lap, wrapping his arms over Merlin’s shoulders and pushing his face into the crook of his neck.  
“I missed you, Daddy.”  
“Oh, sweet, sweet boy, I missed you, so much.” Merlin soothed, stroking Eggsy’s back, just happy to have his boy back in his arms.

Merlin wanted more; he wanted everything. But he’d already damaged what had been a perfect, flawed thing once, with his shifty, underhand certainty that he was doing the right thing, even if it wasn’t what Eggsy wanted. He wouldn’t make that mistake again, not now that he was certain what _he_ wanted. Eggsy wouldn’t be his if he felt betrayed again, and that had to come before anything else; before Merlin took the control he wanted, and he hoped Eggsy wanted to give up.

“Can I take you upstairs, Milis? Can I take care of you?”  
“Please, Daddy.” Eggsy didn’t lift his head, but Merlin could feel his soft lips moving against his neck, and felt Eggsy’s arms tighten over his shoulders as Merlin stood. He carried him upstairs, thankful, once again, that he had never reduced his physical training even in the half dozen years since he left the Forces for good. 

Merlin lay his boy down delicately, roaming large hands over the heather-grey t-shirt Eggsy wore. It was one of the things Merlin had got him, that Percy had taken over to Eggsy’s at Merlin’s insistence, and it was the softest cotton, clinging to the defined lines of Eggsy’s torso, as his breathing deepened in pleasure, and Merlin’s hands slid underneath with purpose, finally feeling the skin direct, the softness and warmth leaving anything the expensive t-shirt could offer to shame.  
“Please, Daddy.” Eggsy wasn’t quite begging, not yet, but the plea promised much, and Merlin shuddered, leaning forward to kiss the lightly furred skin around his belly button, dipping his tongue inside, absorbing every sweet moan that Eggsy produced. 

He pulled the t-shirt off, shuffled Eggsy’s jeans and pants down, stopping him from helping with a hand pushing his wrists up, pinning them above his head.  
“All mine, Milis, let me.”  
“Yours, Daddy.”  
“Fuck, you’re beautiful.” Merlin gazed down at the exquisite morsel that was his boy. Except…except it was more than that. He could picture him there in ten years, still beautiful, but perhaps (only perhaps) looking tired from late nights with their baby, or in twenty years, still beautiful, but maybe not so perfectly cut anymore, or in thirty years, still beautiful, but with blond hair turned grey and crows feet to show just how much he loves life. Merlin held back a sob of happiness, turning it into a gasp. He wanted that, all of it, so much. 

“Will you be mine?” It was a question that could have so many meanings, so many interpretations, and he’d take a response to any one of them right now.  
“Wanna be yours, Daddy, please.” There was the begging, the delicious whimper of desperation, Eggsy’s lean but powerful body undulating needily as he twisted his hands against Merlin’s grip.  
“Let me watch you come undone then, Baby Boy.”

Eggsy gasped as Merlin’s long fingers ran up his thigh, spreading both open to provide access, though Merlin didn’t extend the play yet, just continuing to stroke and lightly tickle, chuckling as Eggsy mewled and thrust his hips. Merlin leaned in, kissing across Eggsy’s torso, applying little nibbles of teeth, just sharp enough to elicit shocked exhalations and giggles as he lapped across each one before moving to the next patch of perfect, unblemished skin. He reached blindly into the drawer of the nightstand, seeking the bottle, depressing the top and feeling the cold liquid cover the tips of his fingers. He felt a bit miss, slide down the side of his nail, but he didn’t care about the mess, not when his focus could be on making his sweet, supple boy feel so good.

He brought the finger back, finding the tightly closed muscle that immediately fluttered under the gentle pressure he placed.  
“Going to treat ye well, Milis. Won’t hurt ye.” Eggsy just moaned in response, pressing his hips to encourage Merlin, letting out a curtailed string of quiet curses when Merlin finally pushed inside. He stroked, for minutes, a steady pace while he continued to pepper Eggsy’s chest with marking kisses. He kept his rhythm consistent, sliding deep, then back, then a swoop around to pass over Eggsy’s swollen prostate.  
“Want more, Daddy, please. Feels sooo good, but need more.”  
“Of course ye do, my needy boy. Ye want it so bad, don’t ye?”  
“Yes. Will ya fuck me, Daddy, please. I’ve been so good, I know I have.”  
“Fuck, Milis, ye always are. You’re beyond perfect. Still won’t hurt ye though, and you’re impossibly tight. Let me open you up.”  
“Please, yes, open my tight little hole for Daddy’s fat cock,” Eggsy gasped, throwing his head back. Merlin bit his lip so hard he tasted blood, needing a distraction or, by God, he was going to flip that glorious creature over and drive home in one move. He wouldn’t do that, regardless of how much his body craved it, though he allowed himself a thought that maybe, given time, Eggsy would want to be trained to take that treatment, would enjoy it as much as Merlin. Besides, right now, he wanted to see Eggsy’s face, wanted to experience every emotion alongside him.

Merlin worked another lubed finger into Eggsy, releasing his wrists and watching in delight as Eggsy grasped the pillow above his head like he urgently needed something to anchor him. When he was ready, and begging, Merlin slid a third finger, watching Eggsy’s body accept it eagerly, as his hips rocked, seeking additional friction.  
“You’re so good, Milis, so good for me. I can’t believe how lucky I am that I get to have ye like this, falling to beautiful pieces under me.”  
“Smash for you, Daddy, want you to own me, take me apart and put me back together again,” Eggsy moaned, his face flushed and glowing. Merlin almost growled, a sound of possession that turned into a laugh when Eggsy purred in response, a cheeky grin flashing.  
“We both know you’re always going to get your own way with me, sweet, perfect, bold boy.” On the last word, Merlin pushed inside, just the tip, and Eggsy sighed, arching his back in pleasure. “Look at me, Milis, I want to see your eyes as I take what’s mine.”

Eggsy gazed up at Merlin, sea-green eyes swimming, wide, his mouth parted in awe as Merlin continued to move, slow but sure, until he was fully seated. He didn’t move until Eggsy’s face relaxed, tilting his hips to demand more, and Merlin moved for him, following the same steady rhythm he’d used with his finger: in, then back, then around, until Eggsy was trembling, his body taut and desperate.   
“Wonder if I could make ye come for me untouched one day.” Merlin pondered.  
“Think ya will, Daddy. So close now, feels so good, like I’m gonna burst. ‘s a bit a lot though…” Eggsy’s eyes were brimming, his plush pink lip worried between white teeth, and Merlin didn’t want him to suffer from his emotions – his boy had hurt too much already – so he took Eggsy’s leaking, purpling cock, giving several strong twisting strokes, that mirrored the movement of his hips, until Eggsy shuddered, crying out and squeezing down on Merlin in a vice-like grip that was just the right side of painful, coating his stomach in creamy white. Merlin pushed his head against Eggsy’s collarbone as Eggsy’s strong fingers clutched his shoulders, rocking inside him in short, frantic moves, until he found his own release moments later.

“Will ye stay, Milis?” Merlin carefully withdrew, and went to the en suite to get a cloth for Eggsy’s stomach.  
“Tonight or forever?” Eggsy sleepily murmured as Merlin returned.   
“Both?” Merlin whispered, barely able to believe he might get his greatest desire so soon, but when he looked at Eggsy’s face after wiping him clean, his boy was peaceful, breathing steadily in sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So they're back together, we think? We'll find out for sure next chapter


	20. A future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter, but definitely got ideas for another multi-chapter story, and multiple single chapter prompts. Hope leaving them in a hopeful place is a nice way to go.

Eggsy awoke feeling warmer than usual, inside and out. The flat was always ice cold – even more so now it wasn’t only the lack of money for heating but also the fact that Michelle was running permanently hot with the drugs out of her system – so he had a moment of disorientation, before he felt the lean planes at his back and realised where he was, sinking instantly, allowing Merlin’s sleepy arms to wrap and pull him closer. 

He woke a second time with clear sky showing at the wide bay window and Merlin’s lips pressing against his nape.  
“Morning Milis. How do ye feel?” Eggsy didn’t answer right away, actually wanting to think about the question properly, for once. He was content, here, in Merlin’s strong arms, and allowing the thought of going back to the flat, of returning to his role of caregiver to his mother…he didn’t want that – it didn’t fill him with any kind of joy, and the guilt for that threatened to overwhelm him.

He dislodged Merlin as he clambered up, wrapping his arms around his knees and hiding his face, determined not to let the storm loose, barely even conscious of his nudity.   
“Milis.” Eggsy appreciated how stern Merlin sound – not like he was treating Eggsy like something fragile and breakable, but as though he could offer himself up as something to ground Eggsy instead.   
“Merlin, do you mind if I don’t call you Daddy when we aren’t playing?” Merlin cocked his head, as if fully aware that Eggsy was changing the subject, but he blinked slowly, accepting it.  
“Not at all. I like ye calling me it, no doubt, but it’s on your terms. It’s all on your terms.”  
“All? Ya don’t want a say?” Eggsy chuckled as Merlin looked suddenly shifty. “Something else ya want a say about?”  
“Eggsy, I want to look after you. I think I’ve been honest about that. If it means being a Daddy to ye, that is more than fine by me, but if it means looking after ye in other ways, that works for me too.”  
“I think there’s more you’re not saying.”

Merlin leaned back against the headboard, looking at Eggsy with his serious hazel eyes, swirling gold and brown.  
“I havnae told ye much about the relationship James and I had.”  
“I haven’t asked,” Eggsy conceded.  
“But maybe I should,” Merlin continued as if Eggsy hadn’t spoken, and he realised how difficult this must be; maybe the whole topic, whatever was coming, but more just about talking about James, so he just waited, patiently, letting Merlin have all the time he needed.

Finally, he sighed.  
“James wasnae just my husband. He was actually my submissive. It’s why Harry chose you, out of anyone else he saw. He thought ye’d meet specific needs.”  
“But we haven’t done anything like that?”  
“We have. On the vanilla end of the spectrum, aye, but we’ve done enough for me to know Harry chose well.” Eggsy chewed his lip, watching Merlin, who gazed back in total patience. Eggsy knew this was something that would need conversation – a _lot_ of conversation; negotiation – but at that moment he just allowed himself to feel happiness at the subtext of what Merlin had told him; the implication that he _wanted_ Eggsy in the same way, a way that seemed, even to his relatively innocent mind, so much _more_. More demands, more expectations, but more depth too, more trust and reward. 

“Ye don’t have to decide now. Or ever. I’ll have ye any way I can, my sweet, and if ye decide that lifestyle isnae for you, I will be okay with that, as long as I still have ye.”  
“We need to talk. But later. Will ya just hold me for now?”  
“Aye. As much as ye want.” Merlin pulled Eggsy with ease, so his back was held firm against Merlin’s chest, and Eggsy sank into the feeling of safety.

It might have been minutes or hours later; Eggsy had no idea; as if Merlin’s mere presence had sent him into a content, meditative state. He hadn’t been asleep, but his brain switched back on almost as if he had, becoming conscious of the soothing feel of Merlin’s fingers roaming his bicep, warm breath on the back of his neck, a steady heartbeat.  
“I can’t move in.” Merlin chuckled, and Eggsy felt his cheeks get hot. “Shit. Sorry. Ya haven’t even asked me. Fuck, I shouldn’t have assumed-,”  
“Nay, lad, don’t start getting daft again, you’re coming so far for me. Of course I want ye here always. I _have_ asked ye, I’m pretty sure, and even if it wasnae in direct words lately, it’s exactly what I want. But I understand. Ye have to be there for your mother.”  
“I do. She might not have been there for me when I needed her, but I can’t leave her, not yet. I will, don’t get me wrong. I won’t be her babysitter. Or her skivvy, which is more what she’s after. But I also won’t be the reason she falls again, and it’s too soon that I wouldn’t be if I left. But if I give it more time, and she still falls, I’ll know it weren’t my fault.”  
“I’m so proud of ye, Milis, you’ve come so far. And, of course, I’ll wait, as long as ye need.”  
“Mind, I’ll still give you what _you_ need…Daddy.”  
“Cheeky. You will, won’t you, sweet boy?” It was the first time Eggsy had slipped into a play mode quite so intentionally, and the ease of it and the instant reaction from Merlin made him shivery right up his spine; a coil of pleasure tightening in his gut.

Merlin gently manoeuvred Eggsy until he was laying down fully, sending a knowing smile as he slid down Eggsy’s body, averting his eyes only for a moment to glance at the clear teardrop already formed, lightly lapping it away with a strong flick of his tongue. Eggsy’s moan was involuntary as he gazed into the depths of Merlin’s stunning hazel eyes, darkened with lust, as he kept moving his tongue, running it along the underside, weaving and twisting to devastating effect.

He ran his hands against the smoothness of Merlin’s head as Merlin increased the pressure of his suckling, letting moisture run down the length, until Eggsy could feel it tickling and trickling down to his hole, creating lightening flashes of half-finished feelings that called for completion.  
“Please, more, please,” Eggsy was already incoherent, as if the vague promise of what might develop between them, given time, was threatening to subsume him; his flesh hyper-sensitive almost to the point of pain.

Eggsy was taking deep, rasping breaths, that stuttered as Merlin dipped his head further, slipping his tongue over the already spit-soaked hole, simply lapping and laving without much pressure, allowing an almost sadistic chuckle free as Eggsy’s pleas became more frantic. Merlin took his own audible breath then, pulling back and instructing Eggsy to turn and get on all fours – an order even if Eggsy knew it wasn’t really, that if he’d shown even the slightest discomfort Merlin would have reduced the pressure. With that in mind, Eggsy found himself shivering in anticipation, arching his back; applying his own pressure in the form of a taunt, an offering.   
“Always so beautiful, Milis, and so perfect, just for me.” Eggsy just purred a moan, wriggling his hips a little in demand. Merlin stroked his flanks and Eggsy knew that if he turned he’d see adoration.  
“Please take me, Daddy, show me I belong to you.”  
“With pleasure.” Eggsy was thankful Merlin had applied lube to himself, and he knew Merlin offering no further preparation was a test of sorts, even if the kind he wouldn’t be able to fail. Merlin might even like it if he whimpered about ‘too much’, though he’d hold that thought for another time; this time was for him to do a good job.

He breathed out harshly as Merlin penetrated and moved slowly forward, rubbing circles into Eggsy’s lower back with his thumb. Even though he was tight as a clamp, the muscle memory from the previous night, and from taking Merlin so many times before, allowed him to work through the initial discomfort, and he embraced the feeling – Merlin going slow enough, giving him time – somehow accommodating a frisson of desire at how this made him feel like he was giving up all control, though on his own terms. Merlin finally reached his apex and paused, gripping Eggsy’s hips tightly enough to bruise, and this was another facet that had Eggsy shivering with pleasure and emotion. He widened his legs by a fraction, both as accommodation and to suggest to Merlin he could move, please would he move? Merlin obviously recognised it, but kept his movements measured; even strokes that helped Eggsy build, until he reached a plateau.  
“Harder, please Daddy, need more.”  
“Of course you do, sweet baby slut, aren’t you? Ye beg so beautifully for me.” Merlin liked it so much, and, even if it made Eggsy flush to be so obviously needy, it was a real response, so he’d do it just as much as Merlin wanted. He did, then, begging and pleading to be filled, and used, and owned. Words he’d never known would have that effect on him but now managed to make him feel all sorts of disconnected but pleasurable sensations. He held himself up on the headboard, so he could really arch, and get just the right position, with the help of Merlin’s commandeering grip, for direct stimulation inside, while Merlin reached to stroke him, until he was desperately staving off his orgasm, not sure if he needed to wait for permission. As if he sensed Eggsy’s uncertainty, Merlin leaned forward, nuzzling his ear with a tickling whisper.  
“Don’t wait, want to hear ye lose it.” That was the only prompt Eggsy needed, and he cried out, coming over Merlin’s hand and the pillow, squeezing down and causing a matching cry from Merlin, and a few rough thrusts, that caused a swell of overstimulation, as Merlin fell against him for a moment, boneless, before carefully rolling to the side, pulling Eggsy into his arms.

He hadn’t recovered, but was content, when Merlin lightly tickled Eggsy’s stomach.  
“Would ye like to go out for lunch with me?”  
“Like a date?”  
“Exactly like a date. Hope ye’ll let me take you out on a lot more, too.”  
“I’d like that. Thanks Merlin.”  
“For?”  
“Everything.”

Eggsy felt a surge of happiness and hope. A knowledge that the future would be better than the past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't love endings - and this one feels a bit cut off - but hoping it can be got away with because of the promise of more. Have ideas - but would welcome prompts and suggestions for what people would like to see. Plan on getting distracted for a while first with a Sterek that's been brewing in my mind, but will definitely be back to these boys in the nearish future. Plus got an Eggval (?) Perciwin (?) almost 2/3 written.
> 
> Would love to hear your thoughts on this :-)


End file.
